Record the magic moments of my life

It’s 21:42pm and i’ve just finished having a steak with mashed potatoes and veg and gravy watching spider man i’m so grateful for my life. One of my kittens is sat near me contently on the sofa. I’m so lucky to be surrounded by my animals. They are so soothing to have in my presence. They are so precious to me. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with things lately, but they keep me calm and bring out my loving nature. I love caring for them.

Things on my mind at the moment is how i’m going to pay the mortgage this month. I don’t have the money based on my salary i have coming in at the moment. Although i have enquired about some loans. Alot has happened since i last wrote my journal. Last tuesday i started a new job working in insurance for some extra money coming in. I managed to be offered the job on the spot, on the friday before when i went for it. The interview was very successful even though i had to do a maths test, my worst subject. The last week has been training on the subject. I felt a little disheartened that i’ve had to go back to work as i really wanted to make the business work in a shorter timescale. Although of course the business does make money, it’s not at the level i wanted at this time, so i’ve had to take other measures.

A few days before i missed a job working in a warehouse from 10-6am. I decided this would be a good idea as i can work 9-5 on the business and then 10pm to 6 at a job so i can cover the mortgage and my secured loan. Sitting here i realise that i have problems, but that problems are a sign of life. I have a greater quality of problem now than i had when i was living at my dads. When i was living at my dads, my problem was that i didn’t want to have to get a job and found it difficult to get to my horse-care course on time. Now it’s that my outgoings are enormous and i can’t afford to buy my horse outright and i’m possibly going to have to get a loan to finance me, some more time running my business. I’m very grateful for all that i have around me. To be able to get my house last year was a dream come true and i intend to hang on to it no matter what.

At the moment i’m living day to day and week to week as each month is so important to me to do the right way. Currently my finances do allow me to pay the mortgage this month, but not much else. Only really my travel. I also have the prospect of a loan which can help with other things and i’ll get my salary at the end of the month, so i still have time to get the business thriving. A month should be more than enough time. My plan for the business is to get one client a week which should be enough to support me, worst case senario, i need to get one client for the month, which will mean i can’t pay my data and have to do my own research, but it’s viable.

Yesterday was great. My boyfriend and i met his mum and brother to go to the races. We put some bets on the horses. Only one of mine won and we had some food and watched madness play live which was absolutely fantastic. It was good to be held lovingly by my boyfriend whilst we danced to the music. The atmosphere was fabulous. Although i didn’t like it when people threw beers forward. It’s a good job the cans were made out of plastic. The music was outstanding. We ended up walking home, me in my bare feet as i was in pain from my heals, we stayed at our friends until a taxi came to pick us up at 3am. It reminded me how much i want to be working with horses seeing them race. It’s my passion to work with horses- although i love that i have my own animals in this house to care for.

As i sit here tonight at 23:15 i’ve just got off the phone to a psychic reader. She was very nice and told me that my business is going to be very successful and that i am going to be able to maintain the payments on my home and that i am going to be getting alot more clients- 3 more this month and 4 the month after. She spoke of a possible marriage to my partner a year from now and said that i will be able to pay my horse outright in august. She spoke of how november will be a turning point and things will be great for me and of a guy who likes me coming into my life on the 15th of july and says i should be careful as i’m in a relationship with a guy who truly loves and cares about me.

She told me that we have a great future together and that part time work would be good for me now to supplement my income to support my passion of working with horses. She also said that there should be a new client that’s of significance on the 15th of July. Finally she told me that i would be running a new business relating to my passion next year and that everything is on track as it should be and not to worry as everything is going really well. I hope shes right! Novemeber 14th and 21st are dates she said to watch out for.

It’s 23:20 and my boyfriend is watching a movie, whilst im on my laptop. I started doing psychic readings tonight and got two calls which i fumbled on to be honest and didn’t seem to do to well. I think i will leave this until i’ve finished other projects i’m working on. The cost of readings though can be set at what amount i choose. I made $6 for a few minutes conversation. I can see how this can be a very profitable business if you are any good. I’m too nervous to be honest even though when i can get my readings out, i tend to be accurate.

This morning i woke up late, i decided to write off my plans for the day and ended up going to sign on at the job centre for job seekers allowance whilst i look for a new job. This wage of £40 a week though is peanuts to me and i wont be able to claim it as soon as i start getting some business in again, which will be this week no doubt. However, i did go just to get me out into town really, and looking for jobs. I’ve applied for a nighttime warehouse position working 10pm until 6am as i don’t have any daytime hours available.

If i could get myself up to some kind of standard with my psychic readings i could make a mint, but i have neither the confidence nor the time to do that right now. I also took a job application for the local animal shelter. I hope to apply for a receptionist position there with any luck. I have worked there previously so think this will stand me in some good stead. It would be ideal as i love working with animals and also give me an extra income stream in this tight financial period.

Today i enjoyed going into town shopping. I managed to get my sainsbury shopping for £22! I’ve never shopped for less than £50 so this was fab. I also had a macdonalds which my friend paid for as he happened to be in town. After shopping i returned to my boyfriend and made him some sandwiches whilst he played poker as usual. We also had some fish pie and chips later. I’ve enjoyed relaxing tonight. I do love exploring my spirituality. It’s’ so much fun. Tommorow i’ll dedicate to work.

I did have a lovely evening the other night with my boyfriend watching a movie chuck and larry with adam sandler and we both enjoyed a nice spagetti bolognaise last night together. It’s been nice having him about more. I’ve been focused on the business the week prior, but spending time with my boyfriend is a priority at the moment. It was fun to do some tarot reading for him the other day and i was glad to get some of the cleaning done at the weekend.

I managed to get quite drunk on gin the other night. Our love life has been excellent the past few night and i’ve felt really close to my love. My friend has been supportive in helping me with the business, but i’ve learnt that i need to do what feels right and focus on what’s important which sometimes means letting him down and doing what i know is essential. The next two weeks are going to be massive financially for me. I really need to work hard and pull out all the stops to get these deals in. I’m excited about the future.

As i sit here tonight at 9:53pm watching eastenders after eating strawberry cheesecake i bought earlier at sainsburys, my throat is a little sore and i’m feeling like i need to chill out, slow down a little, appreciate the beauty of time. It’s amazing how 10 minutes depending on your state of mind can be a completely different experience. I want to try get more of those long lingering grateful moments into my day, not those rushed forgetful ones.

Tonight i’ve got so much on my mind, from cleaning the house, meeting my business partners, finances, new staff, cashflow. It’s alot to think about right now, not to mention the prospect of having to get a job for extra income to help me have some sense of security in paying the mortgage. I think that i need to spend some time doing reiki and relaxing and making less demands on myself outside work time. Not only this i need to start writing again, for the waste basket just so that i can keep my life documented.

I woke late this morning after spending the evening at my sisters. It was lovely to spend the evening with her. The last week i’ve been working really hard on calls. It was good to watch the movie hitman. She made her boyfriend and i, dips and chicken dippers and pizza and we managed to finish off two bottles of wine, leaving me with a banging headache in the morning. It was good to have a chat and she ended up giving me a necklace and some really nice moisturiser. We had a talk about her work. I wasn’t at all pleased to hear about the way she is being treated by her boss and gave her the best advice i could.

This morning i missed the dentist my boyfriend booked for us. I ended up going to the job centre to see if i could make a claim for income support. The only problem with this is that i do really earn too much overall. So i am looking for extra employment at the moment for added security, however i got a letter through the post today saying that i was over qualified for the position i applied for! This has never happened before. How can you be overqualified!

Anyway I’ll keep going with this. As i sit here watching enermy at the gates, my boyfriend is on the way home from his brothers house. I’m cooking pizza and am really tired this evening. I’m glad he’s coming home. It’s so wonderful to have someone i love to share my life with. Tommorow is going to be a busy day no doubt. I have washing to do tonight. One embarrasing thing that happened today was that when in town after visting the job centre, i dropped into the sainsburies. I somehow forgot my cards and my boyfriend had to come all the way to town to help me pay. Not only this, but when he arrived, my pins declined, locked out! I couldn’t believe my disbelief.

I also saw my mum and sister for a few moments and spoke to my friend and business partner several times today about taking on new staff. Earlier in the morning i had a prospect call back, he was interested in my services and said he will definately use my services, should something come up. I managed to do a couple of emails i had pending, but didn’t get any calls done. I did speak to my bank manager who says she will have my new account details shortly which is good.

It’s 01:36am and as i sit here i’m aware i need to be up early. However i don’t want to miss out writing tonight as i do want to document my life and record the magic moments in it. As i sit here now, my little kitten is sat on the floor beside me. My boyfriend and his brother are sat watching late night poker enjoying the evening. It was great to have chinese this evening between us. We had duck, and beef curry. I paid for it. My motto about money is not…i can’t afford it, it’s how can i afford it!

As far as finances go at the moment i’ve some serious money i need to make. Even so i’m sat comfortably in the knowledge it’s on it’s way! I’ve written cheques and i’m living like money is coming into my life, like i’ve already received it, for me the idea of being “realistic” in my current financial position, is just another excuse, for me not doing the work i need to make the money i need to have the things i want in my life.

I decided the other day to seperate out the business woman in me from the sales woman. I often overlap the two and it doesn’t work. In sales time, i need to do my job, get on with selling and do the reports in the evening in my business time. I’ve found it difficult to keep to schedule as it’s not in my nature, but i’m slowly getting there. I had a great day the other day customizing the database. I’ve made it unique to my business now and just need to get on and make the phone calls. The secret to a business is getting on the phone and communicating your service! This is the key part..You can have everything else setup, but it isn’t a business unless you can proffessionally commnicate your services to your target market at mass.

I’m excited about the coming weeks. I’ve got to get in two contracts a week and my friend has said he will buy me some offices locally, instead of the serviced offices i have and get a couple of employees to make phone calls for me. I spent alot of last night data researching contact names for my leads as the company that supplies my data only gives last names of the directors which is frustrating to say the least. I’ve asked them to add the first name to the spec, but it’s like waiting for christmas!

Tonight was good chilling out watching the apprentice. It was funny watching people who wanted to have a high executive position in a company. Quite obviously not business owners, but very ambitious. I’ve decided that working for myself i need to be serious about my hours. My time is worth £53.75 per hour and i need to make sure i’m aware of this when i’m taking an hour out…is it more important than that earning i could be making? If it is then carry on if not, then stop and refocus on what is important.

Tonight i’ve managed to get some washing up done, my rabbits eyedrops sorted, and enjoyed some meditation earlier, visualizing some white light rebalancing my chakras. I’ve cleaned out my indoor rabbit and I’ve fed the outdoor ones. I’ve also cleaned out the cat tray and fed the kitties. I’m feeling abit on overdrive at the moment. I’ve got the bathroom to clean, the bedroom to sort out and the rest of the pans in the kitchen to do. plus i’ve got to be up at 7 am ish. Only six hour! I should sleep.

When i think about what i’m grateful for today. I’m thankful i got the hoavering up done and it was really nice sitting with my boyfriend cuddling him on the sofa watching television. I was joking with him and him with me and it was nice to have abit of silly banter. I also enjoyed reading tarot and visiting the healing forums and sharing some advice. I’m so glad that the hallway is clear and i can think straight knowing that there is no clutter in my way. I’m really thankful to god for the oppotunity before me. I’m so lucky , i truly am. Thankyou for my life.

As i sit here tonight watching a program on quantum reality. I’m surrounded by books on belief, and quantum physics. This is an area of science that i believe in and facinates me. It supports alot of my beliefs i’ve held throughout my life on a fundermental level. I’ve also started to delve back into tarot lately. My friend put me off it for awhile, a christian, telling me it was the work of the devil. However, i don’t believe in heaven and hell as seperate things anymore. I feel that everything is whole and there is good and bad in everything and everyone and what makes us who we are is how we act out our lifes and who we become as people. I don’t think that a card with pictures depicted on should be disgarded as satans work. To me tarot is a great tool for the subconcious. I can see how in the wrong hands it may not be so wonderful. Although if used for truly medititive purposes, it is a very spiritual and useful tool.

Today has been fun for me. I awoke late after a bad dream. I made my way downstairs and sorted out some of my personal things that needed to be kept on top of such as registering for income support until i’m earning enough money from my business to support me without any extra help. I also cancelled my standing orders, then realised that i needed to put some cash in my bank as s/orders can’t be cancelled immediately. This meant going into town. After having breakfast and spending some time cuddling my boyfriend in bed. I made my way into town to pick up my glasses and buy a new cordless phone.

It was really nice being out in the fresh air. I enjoyed getting things done. I went to wilkinsons and bought a mop and some treats for the rabbits. This evening i’ve spent working on data researching and inputting. I managed to crash my database. I don’t know exactly what i’ve done, but i hope that my support team can recover it. My friend has done me a letter for mailshots and i’ve realised that i need to make the effort to do atleast 12-6pm calls each day – 30hours being better than the 6-8 im doing at the moment. I think that i do need to make an allowance for the fact that i may not be able to make calls in the morning as iv’e so many things on my plate personally.

My glasses are quite pretty. Chunkier than the last pair i had, costing me £230 for a pair. I need to make sure i keep these ones safe, as it’s quite an expense. Fortunately my dad paid 130 towards them and because i have a direct debit for contacts, i received £60 off my frames. I like dealing with my opticians they are always friendly and give a good service. I’ve had lots of free eyechecks with them. Looking at my expenses i realise that my eyes are really important to me and it’s neccesary to be spending money on my contacts each month as i do need to make my sight my priority in everything i do.

I’m shattered tonight. It was good spending time posting on the tarot forum. I’ve developed some kind friendships online, also on the healing forums which i’m part of. Having just experienced a personal experience of some depth to me on tuesday 3rd i’ve been spending time expressing my emotions about this event. I’m starting to heal in many ways. I’m finding reading helps me immensely in dealing with what life throws at me. I’ve learnt finally how to cry, rather than hold it in. I’ve often held my feelings in for the sake of others, it’s good to express my emotions in private now just so that i can release them. I’ve realised how important it is to do this.

On Friday night, my boyfriend and i spent some quality time together. I wasn’t happy with the ambiance of the room or the music and asked him to change it. I ended up having a really enjoyable evening with him. We ended up having sex on the sofa before getting absolutely trashed and making love later on again was absolutely out of this world. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. We really truly connected on such a deep spiritual level. It was like being part of nature, not just an act of nature and being part of the universe. I’ve never really had the spiritual kind of love i have with my boyfriend now. It’s something that i find so out of this world. I’m so lucky we have such spiritual depth to our relationship. I remember falling asleep tripping faeries, i had been doing tarot cards with him earlier in the night for fun and this was what i driffted off too.

This week i’ve made chicken dinner for us both and i’ve spent some time outdoors with the rabbits. I took one of my rabbits to the vet as he has conjuntivis. I’m doing his drops daily to keep him well. I know it’s really scratchy and painful to have this as i’ve had it myself. It was lovely playing with the cats today seeing them chase the blue nemo fish i have on a stick around. I’m loving life at the moment. I love journalling to make sure that i appreciate all the magic moments of my day. I was pleased to find i’ve been refunded for my ea land subscription as the shard has now shut down.

It’s 00:29 and i’m going to do my rabbits eyes and go to bed. I ‘m looking forward to tommorow. My owner of the horse i’m buying has asked me what i’m doing financially. I’ve not messaged back yet. I don’t have the rest of the money to pay yet, i’m going to have to explain this. I spoke to the data lady today, she said she is going to add some extra fields to my data. It was good listening to my boyfriend about programming today, he was telling me about entity frameworks. I find it quite intersting sometimes. I’ve really enjoyed relaxing this evening.

It’s 22:51 and my home is looking wonderful. The candles are glowing beautifully. My kitten is laid beside the Daylight lamp sleeping and on tv is the ultimate fighting championship. On our living room table, there are lillies my boyfriend bought me for my birthday sending out the most glorious scents. I feel happy today and blessed that i have managed to get all the things done i intended. I didn’t set a plan and i felt out of it most of the day after a night out in town. However i did manage to get the kitchen, living room and the hall tidyed up. I feel so much better having a clean and tidy home. It’s amazing what differece it makes to your mood.

As i sit on my sofa, i’m grateful for today. This morning i awoke cuddling up to my boyfriend. We had a lovely evening out for my birthday last night. We didn’t end up sleeping until 6am this morning as we were still partying. It was good to connect and snuggle up to my boyfriend and spend time with his bro also. Today we have just been chilling out together, eating pizza and watching wallace and grommit. I’ve had my country music playing in the kitchen whilst cleaning and also read some of my book the secret. This book is already so aligned with what i have always known to be true. It’s good to have some confirmation on why the things i know are accurate. I know they work, but the science behind why they work is what interests me. Looking more deeply into the quantum world is something i’ve always intuatively known is the answer to the age old questions, who are we, why are we here and what is this all about.

I’ve started to ask myself the question more,what am i thinking now and i’m surprised to know, it’s not what i would expect. My subconcious thoughts as i ask them to become concious are actually much different to what i’m conciously aware of and it makes sense that i’m feeling some of the feelings that i am. Today i’ve had uncomfortable feelings in my stomach. I’m not sure if i’ve had a substance yesterday that my body hasn’t agreed with or whether my body is trying to tell me something.

I’m excited about my chinese money necklace i bought myself for my birthday arriving. This evening our friend came through. He suffers with diabetes and had a moment where his sugar was low. It was quite worrying. I gave him some kitkats though which sorted out the problem. We spoke about doing some work with the blind. I’m looking forward to some news he may bring me on this in the next week. The idea is to do some work for charity and also boost my income in the process. I’m quite excited about this.

Last night after spending some time with my boyfriend for my birthday and him having surprised me with my favourite flowers lillies! I was so happy. I couldn’t have asked for a nicer 24th birthday. I awoke in my own home realising this was my first birthday in this house and how precious it is to own my own home. I never realised how much it meant to me before. The most important thing to me in my life is to make sure i maintain the payments on my home so that my animlas are safe. If needs be, my other desires will have to wait until my cashflow improves. It’s good to have things clear in my head.

It’s now 23:06. I’ve just finished cleaning out the rabbits. God Tv is on tonight and i’m about to order dominos. As my cup shakes beside me i’m starting to become more mindful about life. I love my life at the moment. I’m totally embracing the beauty of it and realizing also that the chaos is all a part of that balance. My house needs some cleaning tonight. I’m tempted to stay up until it’s totally done. Do it right now is my current attitude. This is working well for me at the moment, especially in my business.

Even as i get up late still in my dressing gown. I make calls daily without any excuses as to why i can’t pick up the phone, why i’m not ready. It’s so great to feel totally engaged and excited about what i’m doing in my life. My business finally starting to move forward, after setting up at the beginning of this year and now has it’s first clients. Using knowledge of the secret and some other books on mindfulness and of course my prayer to god and total sense of faith and belief in my contracts coming in. I feel overjoyed at what i’ve achieved.

My life is becoming the life i always wanted to live, working from home, running my business helping other directors. I love working with people of like mind. I’ve always loved working with people who think outside the box who had the faith to setup their own business and defied the world proving that people can achieve the extraordinary. Ordinary people doing extraordinary things. This is what facinates me about life.

As the pizza place is closed, i’m cooking spagetti bolognaise for my boyfriend. I’m also cleaning out my indoor rabbit as she is starting to have an odour which is non to pleasant. I’m thrilled about the prospect of having a nice meal and the house being clean and fragrant. I’ve worked hard on the business this week without time to keep on top of my personal things. However i’m positive about my life in the coming days. I realised today after cleaning, i get such a good feeling once i’ve completed a task i’ve set myself. I spend alot of time procrastinating, but doing the job isn’t so hard and im so happy once it’s complete.

I’m sending some money for my horse this month. She is now delayed and arrives in June. I expect to make atleast £4018.00 over the next two weeks. Ideally £5000 a week would be good. This is not beyond my expectation. However going on what i know i can realistically achieve, the above amount is more favourable for actualizing. My business now is run from a CRM system which is the main database for all my contacts. I can easily look up a client and work through prospect lists effortlessly. I was one for using excel in the past, however it’s not practicle when you have lots of call backs to do and you need a notification system which is effective. I’m always late calling outlook contacts so my choice to pay a little extra for a system which gives me everything i need i’m so grateful for.

I’m surrounded by an untidy home. It’s hardly ever at this level of untidyness. Better to be outside my head though than in my mind. Although i often find, when my head is tidy, so is my house. My horse magazines i’ve placed in front of me to program my subconcious towards my desire to work with horses and own my own yard. I can’t wait until my horse arrives. She is my dream. I’ve waited since i was a little girl to own my own horse. I never grew out of this dream.

Lately i’m reading so much more. I love a good book, mostly personal development books. I’ve recently bought a great book called ” the last selp help book you’ll ever need”. It actually is and has some great contrary points to my orginal outlook on life. Another is ” the secret”, this is great i would say for manifesting desires. Next i bought a book called ” the miricle of mindfulness”, i’m actually living mindfully when i can now and it makes all the difference actually experiencing the moment. I notice that this is benificial to improve my memory and also being in total gratitude for my life.

Cooking for my boyfriend spagetti bolognaise and enjoying some time watching poker with him was nice. I didn’t end up sleeping until 3am and now it’s the next morning as i write this and it’s effected my sleep.

Alot of expression of my feelings down on paper and it’s been good to get to a greater understanding of my life and myself. Everyone should journal, it’s well worth it. Journaling in public to document your life or as i do in private is absolutely fantastic way to express your emotions and understand yourself.

I’m doing this daily. It’s hard to remember to write. I love to express my feelings. It’s great to look back over the past and see where you were with your life! I need to remember to write tonight. I’m so forgetful!