relax

I really need to learn to unwind. It’s not just that I’m mentally wound too tight. I build up tension in my shoulders and neck on a daily basis. Maybe I need a different outlook on things or should work on time management and then I wouldn’t be so stressed…How DOES one learn to relax? maybe it’s an innate ability or (hopefully!) a learned behaviour.

white sand sunsets and sex on the beach

I received a massage gift card for graduation…
I think I am going to cash in tomorrow….
I hope they have appointments available….
that would certainly help me RELAX a little before
the long trip to Bangkok/Kathmandu.
such a long trip!
:D

(I just think that baby massage is so cute!!!!)

I constantly feel uptight, frustrated and stressed out! feeling out of control and am working on getting it back. I find myself going through cycles of ups and downs. Desperatley need to learn how to relax.

I took a nap and it was GREAT!!!!
I really needed it!

:)

now i just want to relax

I really feeling it all coming to a crashing end…
I hope I am okay. I feel tired… deeply tired. It’s hard for me to say that, it always feel like I am saying something bad to myself…
I think it’s okay~ easy to understand why I feel tired…
today I feel as if I could walk out onto a deserted beach and simply sit there for a week… and do

nothing.

The meds aren’t working. Spent too much time out of my place last night because my neighbor’s TV was too loud. The knowledge that I have to move AGAIN does not fill me with joy.

I’m not a very laid back person and I don’t know why. Little things such as driving or even trying to figure out plans for the weekend can make me completely irritable if they don’t follow a plan or go according to a fashion I deem suitable. I hate that I do this. Some of my friends have deemed me an “old lady” because of it. I’m pretty sure my easy irritability has also pushed some friends away too. I want very badly to learn to let the little things go so I can enjoy my life and my relationships with other people.

Went to a therapist today. She didn’t find it odd that I find noise intrusive, but it affects me a bit too much, so maybe she’ll prescribe something to “take the edge off”. We’ll see if my current meds do anything first, though. But ultimately what I need is a quiet place to live.