Well a regular PDR (performance and development review) would be the best template to follow. There is little struture to this!

Another one for the give up list. 3 years ago

The following list was composed by Dale McGowan for her article ‘Teaching Kids to Yawn at Counterfeit Wonder’ and is taken from page 220 of “Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion”. A book I recommend highly.

1. If you condense the history of the universe to a single year, humans would appear on December 31st at 10:30PM – 99.98 percent of the history of the universe happened before humans even existed.

2. Look at a gold ring. As the core collapsed in a dying star, a gravity wave collapsed inward with it. As it did so, it slammed into the thundering sound wave heading out of the collapse. In that moment, as a star died, the gold in that ring was formed.

3. We are star material that knows it exists.

4. Our planet is spinning at 900 miles an hour beneath our feet while coursing through space at 68,400 miles per hour.

5. The continents are moving under our feet at 3 to 6 inches a year. But a snail’s pace for a million millennia has been enough to remake the face of the world several times over, build the Himalayas, and create the oceans.

6. Through the wonder of DNA, you are literally half your mom and half your dad.

7. A complete blueprint to build you exists in each and every cell of your body. [Except for red blood cells which don’t have any DNA at all, and sperms and eggs which have half the DNA of all the other cells.]

8. The faster you go, the slower time moves.

9. Your memories, your knowledge, even your identity and sense of self exist entirely in the form of a constantly recomposed electrochemical symphony playing in your head.

10. Al life on Earth is directly related by descent. You are a cousin not just of apes, but of the sequoia and the amoeba, of mosses and butterflies and blue whales. 4 years ago

This may sound like a masochistic thing to be grateful for but I honestly don’t enjoy being in pain. The reasons I am saying that I am grateful for pain are as follows:

1. Pain indicates that something is wrong.
2. Pain lets us appreciate the absence of pain.

I have been in a lot of pain since early September 2008 yet I didn’t take even a day off sick. I continue to be in pain despite pain-killers. I have been to the doctor but no solution so far. 4 years ago

BE MINDFUL: Focus on your experience of the present. Don’t judge it. Don’t compare it. Don’t try to change it. Just experience it. Just be.

BE GRATEFUL: Be grateful that life is not worse than it is. Be grateful for the present.

BE OPTIMISTIC: Be optimistic that you can continue to be mindful and grateful. Be optimistic that you can also be compassionate and constructive.

BE COMPASSIONATE: Be compassionate towards yourself. Be compassionate towards others. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t judge others. Don’t compare yourself with others. Judge words, actions and omissions but not the person.

BE CONSTRUCTIVE: Begin now. Do something positive and helpful. It can be anything that helps you and others to live and to enjoy being alive.

BE BALANCED: Life works best when everything is in optimum balance. Happiness comes from matching your activities with your abilities. There must be balance between activities and rest, between doing and being. Only you can find your optimum balance. Find your balance and sustain it. Your life is your responsibility. 4 years ago

1. For having just read the following five excellent books:

“Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You A Better Parent And Your Child A Better Person” by Martha Pieper and William Pieper

“Addicted to Unhappiness” by Martha Pieper and William Pieper

“My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor

You can view and listen to her TEDtalk:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

“Dreams From My Father” by Barack Obama

“Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion” Edited By Dale McGowan

2. For loving my job as a mental health support worker and for being promoted at work on 3 December 2008.

3. For our son enjoying his pre-school.

4. For the new friends I have made since moving back to Aberdeen on 7 September 2008. 4 years ago

1. For being able to post this entry. I apologise for being absent from this website for so long and for not having returned cheers. I have been missing you my friends but life has been very busy and I have been unable to post until now.

2. For having begun a child sponsorship. I am sponsoring a girl in Bangladesh. I hope to sponsor many more children in need everywhere on the planet. I hope to be able to adopt one or more children within the next two years.

3. For my new year’s resolutions. My favourite resolution is loving people and other living things unconditionally and never judging people and other living things.

4. For having made a lot of progress in my attempt to be always mindful, grateful, optimistic, compassionate and constructive.

5. For having made some progress in my attempt to consume less and reuse and recycle more.

6. For having lived a life of great suffering and great joy. 4 years ago

1. For still being able to work despite my various pains. Things could be a lot worse.

2. For being able to be mindful, grateful, optimistic, compassionate and constructive despite my past, present and future suffering. 4 years ago

1. For having the opportunity and ability to post this entry!

2. For my wife and son moving to Aberdeen on 14 September 2008 instead of 19 September or later. Although, my wife wants to move from this flat to another flat in Aberdeen. So, we have paid the deposit on another flat and will be moving there if the landlord is happy to accept us. Likely moving date 24 October 2008.

3. For loving my job as a Mental Health Support Worker which I have been doing since 8 September 2008.

4. For our son loving his time at the pre-school.

5. For mobile broadband technology which is now letting me get online and post this entry. It’s great having internet with you all the time. Although it is slower than cable broadband and the signal strength varies. 4 years ago

1. For getting, keeping and loving my job as a Mental Health Support Worker with Scottish Association for Mental Health (SAMH).

2. For speaking on the mobile phone with my wife and son every day. Don’t have a fixed line telephone connection in the Aberdeen flat so it’s great to have mobiles.

3. For coming down to Dundee on Friday night and seeing my wife and son. They came to meet me at the station and it was great to see them.

4. For the messages of support and kind wishes I have received on 43 things.

5. For having learned to face my fears. 4 years ago

1. For suffering from bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed in March 1998 but I have had it even longer. I have learned much about myself, reality and others thanks to my suffering. For this I am grateful. Although, I do wish that the education was not so traumatic.

2. For getting the start date for my full-time job as a mental health support worker in Aberdeen. I start on 8 September 2008.

3. For today being the first day of September 2008. I will be moving back to Aberdeen on 7 September 2008. I am really looking forward to that. 11 years ago, on 29 September 1997 I had moved from Aberdeen to Dundee to study medicine. I failed to complete my studies due to bipolar but have become skilfull in being able to handle anything and everything about life. I am much more mindful, grateful, optimistic, compassionate and constructive now than I was 11 years ago.

4. For watching our son sleep. I love listening to the sound of air going in and out of his frequently open mouth. I love the way he moves around in his sleep and travels all over the bed!

5. For getting better at being mindful, grateful, optimistic, compassionate and constructive.

6. For having learned to love those who do not love me, as well as loving those who do love me.

7. For receiving and giving cheers on 43 things. 4 years ago

This bipolar thing is an awful yo-yo. Down to -4 again. I wish I could be cured. 4 years ago

1. For having joined 43 things on 22 May 2006. It has been 820 days since I joined 43 things. I have grown much in that time. I have met several people here from whom I have learned a lot, received a lot and have become close friends with whom I can really talk about what’s on my mind.

2. For starting and keeping up my Quote of the Day posts. I have grown a lot through these quotes and continue to do so.

3. For starting and posting my Gratitude Lists. They keep me mindful of what I can be grateful for every moment even though life is full of suffering. 4 years ago

1. For my mood lifting from -4 to -1. I even had brief periods at zero. There is nothing worse than being stuck at -5 on the mood chart. If you haven’t experienced it, you have no idea how lucky you are. Nothing compares to that magnitude of suffering and I have experienced many different forms of suffering, so, I know what I am talking about.

2. Our son is 3 years and 4 months old today. He has been alive for 1218 days so far! 4 years ago

Feeling very low. Swinging between -1 to -4 rapidly. Hardly slept last night or the night before. What an illness my bipolar is! 4 years ago

1. For being at zero most of the day today! Although I dipped to -1 and even -2 for brief periods, they lasted only a few minutes at a time.

2. For not sleeping much last night and still having energy. I hope I am not going to go hypomanic or manic. Lack of sleep yet plenty of energy usually preceeds the episodes. 4 years ago

1. For swinging from zero to -2 today. It could have been much worse. It began as early as 2 am. Didn’t sleep well. I miss being able to sleep well. I haven’t slept well for 11 years.

2. For attending a mental health conference in Dundee. It was about mental health issues affecting non-white people in Scotland. 4 years ago

1. For my mood lifting to -1. I have had periods at -2 today. I long to be free of my bipolar disorder. I wish I could always be at +1 / euthymic.

2. For donating blood today. If you haven’t donated blood, I recommend that you become a regular blood donor. 4 years ago

1. For not committing suicide even when feeling suicidal. I so wish that I didn’t have bipolar disorder – especially the crippling lows that dominate my mind and my life. I don’t know how much longer I can carry on like this. 4 years ago

1. For contuing to be at -3 for much of today. Although I had periods when I was at -2 and -1 and even zero. 4 years ago

1. For being at -3 most of the day. It could have been worse. I could have been at -4 or -5 on the mood chart. 4 years ago

1. For playing with our son with water guns today. He loves squirting me!

2. For taking him to Toys R Us store. We didn’t buy any toy, we just looked and played.

3. For yet another sunny day in Dundee.

4. For the lovely way our son giggles. It’s such a beautiful sound. He loves being tickled. 4 years ago

1. For getting a job as a mental health support worker!

2. For continuing to run the Dundee Bipolar Self Help Group.

3. For having my wife and son to come home to. 4 years ago

1. For the rain. It’s been raining heavily today. Although I dislike gray sky, the plants need the rain.

2. For having good bus service in Dundee.

3. For painting with our son.

4. For being at -2 on my mood chart today. Although I was at -2 much of the time, I also had brief periods of being at -1 and zero. -2 is much better than -3 or -4 or -5.

5. Today is Hiroshima day. I am grateful that since Hiroshima and Nagasaki on 6 and 9 August 1945, nuclear weapons have not been used in conflicts. Of course, I would have preferred it if there were no conflicts ever. 4 years ago

I have decided to resume posting gratitude lists here. I think my previous list got deleted. Here goes the first one.

1. For playing with our son in the park this afternoon. I love being with him. He has taught me much about myself, himself, others and the world we live in. I love the way he enjoys the present continuous. I want to help him to continue to live in the present. I used to do that as a young child. I am re-learning to enjoy the present.

2. For the blue sky we had today in Dundee. I love blue skies.

3. For my wife’s toothache improving. Of course, I would have preferred it if she didn’t have tootache in the first place.

4. For being able to text my parents in Bangladesh.

5. For 43 things and my friends here. Thanks to 43 things website and the contributions of others on this website I have grown much as a person.

6. For watching the film called ‘The Bucket List’ tonight. I had wanted to see it when it came out in the movies but hadn’t gone in order to save money. I am grateful to have gotten to watch it for free tonight. I highly recommend the film. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0825232/ 4 years ago

I was okay for about four hours then my mood dipped to -4. Feeling suicidal. I wish I could overcome this illness at will. 4 years ago

I am not well. At -3 on the mood chart. What is worse, I am failing to be mindful, grateful, optimistic, compassionate and constructive. Perhaps it is because I am low that I am failing or perhaps because I am failing that I am low. Cause and effect are hard to determine sometimes. Sometimes, they feed back on each other and lead to vicious cycles. 4 years ago

My wife, son and I are going to Brighton (England) by the overnight bus tonight. We are going to attend my wife’s younger sister’s wedding. We will be back on Sunday. It may not be possible to post here or reply to your posts or return your cheers as I may not have internet access until returning on Sunday. Have a great time everyone! 4 years ago

I have just began reading some books by Dr Seligman and wish I had read them many years ago. In fact, I wish all parents had read them before they became parents.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Optimistic-Child-Safeguard-Depression-Resilience/dp/0618918094/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216115712&sr=8-3

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Authentic-Happiness-Seligman-Martin/dp/0743222989/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216115712&sr=8-5

http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-You-Change-Cant-Self-Improvement/dp/1857883977/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216115712&sr=8-4

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/1400078393/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216115712&sr=8-1

If you haven’t read the above books. Please read them without delay and implement what they teach! 4 years ago

Another friend of mine had attempted suicide recently but was found in time to be kept alive. He, too, has bipolar disorder. Around 33% of the people with bipolar disorder attempt suicide at least once. Up to 20% end up killing themselves. Given how awful the illness is and how devastating the consequences of the illness can be, I am not surprised. Since 1997 I have felt suicidal on thousands of days. I am exceptionally good at enduring suffering thanks to all I have suffered from childhood to the present continuous. 4 years ago

A friend of mine committed suicide. I can’t say too much here because I don’t want to breach confidentiality. He had bipolar disorder. On 10 November 2004 I had found the dead body of another friend who had depression. I am not sure why I am posting this entry. I suppose I want to share my grief. Life is mostly suffering. In acceptance there is peace. 4 years ago