get my shit together

Things are going ok with this goal actually.

- I’m currently on a diet and have 13 pounds to go to reach my goal, which I’m hoping to within a month.
- The diet has necessitated getting up early enough to make myself breakfast in the morning, so I’ve been successful with that.
- I bought a car.
- We’re working on our bedroom now, should be done in a week or so. One more thing off the huge list of house stuff.

Still need to work on my wardrobe, which will come more naturally when I lose more weight. Also need to work on keeping in touch with people more and I still have a bunch of cards and gifts I need to send out.

Keeping my shit together is an ongoing project. I’m marking this as “done” and reopening my “self-efficacy” goal to replace it. Self-efficacy sounds more positive. :-)

I am such a mess. Every day, I drag myself out of bed at the last possible minute, dig through the pile of clothes on the floor, pull something wrinkled and frumpy out, throw it on, look in the mirror with disgust, drag the dog around the block, speed to work in my filthy car, get to work and bumble my way through the day, then come home and spend most of the night screwing around and figuring out what to do for dinner, and go to bed feeling like I haven’t accomplished anything that I set out to do. There are all these things staring me in the face – my camera, my horrible clothing, the dust bunnies on the floor, my unfinished dress, the peeling paint – and I feel too busy to do anything about them, but I can’t figure out what it is that I’m busy doing.

In general, I feel like a disorganized slob, and something’s gotta give. I get so stressed at the thought of doing anything, everything feels overwhelming.

The goal of “get my shit together” is sort of a culmination of a lot of my other goals, but I feel like those goals aren’t going anywhere, so I need to focus on an overhaul. Here are some things that will need to be done for my shit to be considered together>

- lose weight
- get up earlier
- keep the house clean
- get organized at work
- be proactive about cards, gifts, etc.
- dress better
- keep in touch with people
- buy a new car

In general, I need to stop letting the day fly by and feeling at the end like the previous 24 hours was a waste of time.

I feel like this is almost the same as ‘stop procrastinating’ in fact it probably is, I only first added it because of that Fountains Of Wayne song, and also there’s an Oasis lyric “Get your shit together girl”.

Hmm… step by step, I guess.

I have a bank account again, after two years! It was easier than I expected. This type of thing usually is. I paid off the debt collection company, waited a month, had them send me a letter saying the account was settled, and went to BofA to open an account.

My car will have a new engine by the end of the day today, after a year. This was not easier than I expected, but it feels good to have done it.

Time to grow up me! We can do this! Let get rganized, take advantage of time and get things started! JUST DO IT, one thing a t a time!

Every time I think I should make an entry about this goal, I think about my other goals, like maybe once I’ve got them all done, this one will be done too. That makes me think I need more goals.

I was just reading up on other people who want to get their shit together, and one person said that she almost stopped having this goal because it was her most negative. Huh. I don’t think of it as negative, necessarily, though I suppose there is a chiding nature to it, but mostly it just kind of makes me smile. It’s almost like a Zen koan for me, like, hey, no matter what, man, I’m still just trying to get my shit together.

Tangentially, though totally related in my head, I was waiting for Jack to make coffee this morning and I was admiring our refrigerator (it’s quite nice really, and I don’t think I’ve ever really given it its due contemplation) and I had this violent realization that, like, I OWN that refrigerator. I’ve owned this house for almost a year and a half and it just now occured to me that THAT’S MY REFRIGERATOR.

_{I was tempted to erase this goal—it’s my most negative goal and it’s not very motivating. However, it was nice to mark off some important things from the past few weeks. I’ve included my progress below.}

1. Get a full-time job

_{I got a job at Apple retail as a concierge. I’m shaping the role to play to my strengths. Having health insurance is a huge relief: I can afford to buy the drugs I need to live a normal life.}

2. Fix my car

_{I have saved up $1,300.00 and gotten the names of seven shops who will install a warrantied engine.}

a. Finish paying off the loan ($1,500.00)

1. Find out from dad the exact amount I owe   ($2,752.00)
2. Calculate a reasonable time to finish paying it off

b. Buy and install a new engine ($2,000.00)

1. Call and get quotes on the parts
2. Call and get quotes on the labor
3. Write down a timeline
4. Find out whether or not I’m nuts to consider doing it myself

c. Fix the dents and get a paint job ($400.00)

1. Call and get a few quotes
2. Set a date to do it
   
   

3. Get my finances in order

a. Pay Chase the $400.00 I owe them

_{I finally paid them, today! Now I just have to call and get them to take me off of Check Systems.}

b. Fix my Sprint account

1. Catch up on my bill ($200.00)
2. Find out when my contract ends   February 22, 2009
3. Put Apple’s discount on my bill
4. Get Mom to put me on her plan when my contract ends

c. Defer my school loans again

_{They are deferred until April 2009..}

d. Fix my ADS account

e. Get another job

_{I work at the restaurant one or two nights a week. It’s about all I can manage without a car, right now.}

4. Restore my integrity

a. Keep my promises

1. Help Dad with his event
2. Follow my plans (especially the ones I announce)
3. Buy Kim’s supplement that I ruined
4. Pay Kim her $14.99
5. Volunteer three times at the homeless shelter
6. Send Flash a batch of Funk Muffins
7. Pay to have Kim’s window re-tinted

b. Don’t steal

1. Never eat Dad’s food
2. Back up the hard drive and return it to the museum

c. Build back bridges

1. Apologize to S.
2. Apologize to T.
3. Send an e-mail to L.

my wife of 6 years and 2 days left me for her “soul mate”
it really messed me up. i started doing things i know i shouldn’t be doing. i guess its depression. i have a great job, 2 new puppies that i have been neglecting. i love them to death. alcohol has just taken over. i am committed to stopping this behavior. my self destruction button has been pushed way too many times. the new year is around the corner. i am ready before that day to make things better for myself before i end up in a situation i know i shouldn’t be in. i am now ready to get my shit together. ok… thats all i got for now….