Let go... everything's gonna be all right

I am going to close out this goal, as otherwise it would linger forever here. I think I have learned a lot from seeing it here, day after day.

I have learned to remind myself of the transiency of doubt, that doubt that causes you pain about your choices. It has become a little clearer, that when we form expectations, although they color and inform us, they rarely result in the outcome we envisioned. Life makes itself up as it goes along, and we participate, do the things we do, and influence the outcomes.

Might as well enjoy it, and when it gets out of control, hold on and laugh madly, howl!

In my interior landscape there are stories and axioms like signposts for streets. They are more feelings than words, more signals than signposts. I shall attempt to translate.

The idea of fragrant orchids and other flowers perfuming the evening air is persistent with me. Perhaps more than money in the bank, a pretty car or a house with many rooms, the proliferation of lovely exotic flowers is a source of endless satisfaction to me. They are ephemeral, and that is part of the charm. So as they wax and wane in their beauty, they become a part of my everyday like an aria floating in the trade winds.

Today here is one of my most favorite fragrant orchids, a zygopetalum, with three new spikes. I will put in a comment below here a photo of a flower open, so you can see what is coming.

When these orchids rebloom, I feel affirmed, as if my personal prayer chant is heard is answered. It happens over time, unexpected, like a postcard from a distant friend.

We’ve been waiting, such a long time. And now, in the final hours before our guests arrive this container finally arrives. It stays only until Tuesday. It is high up on truck wheels, so cannot fit up our driveway.

We “borrow” parking in front of a house down the street that is being turned back to the bank – the owner is somewhere, and we cannot contact him.

There is no ramp for us to use, and the back of the container is way off the ground. I cannot open it, but Robert is able to and a huge heavy piece of furniture seems like it is about to fall onto us. But no, it is taped to the huge piece of furniture behind it. We have only a few huge pieces of furniture, and there are half of them, right at the opening.

Moon, our intrepid carpenter, brings his pickup over and we unload those pieces onto the back of it. It is 5 pm and raining. Everything is practically shrink wrapped, so damage is not an issue. It is just the weirdest delivery I’ve ever seen.

Meantime, the treehouse is shall I say an amazing mess. Somewhere in that shipment are the hanging chairs. It would mean a lot to me to find those things and get them up tomorrow. Robert says we can do that. Hope to find some help tomorrow as the workers mostly bailed. My fault, as I told them we needed everything done by today. But it will all work out. Everything’s gonna be all right. And we have amazing rocks to climb into the house.

This would be easier if I knew exactly what to let go of. I don’t know what I should leave behind and what I should take with me anymore. I feel…stuck. It’s strange that the only thing that I can do right now is the exact opposite of what I set out to do: hold on.

the versions of our dreams and plans put together with the help of others from around the globe are now coming together. the pavilion is en route from Bali, along with some doors and gates and benches.

The treehouse is in its next to the last phase to become ready for occupancy in less than two weeks.

I am loving the reactions in the community to these projects.

Today or tomorrow we make our purchases of faucets and knobs and sconces. Then—woo hoo!!!! up goes the wall covering, in goes the plumbing, the cobbled together off grid electric delivery and water catchment go in, and voila!!! We have treehouse!!!!!

We have contacted a realtor we liked before and she will take on the sale of the house.

The act that keeps the IRS from taxing the consumer on the difference between the loan and the sales price expires at the end of 2009, so this may be our last chance.

So it feels like we are letting go of the sinking ship and drifting away from the wreckage. And everything’s gonna be all right.

to ditch, the past that holds you back, the fears and worries for the future, the self doubt and loathing, the clutter around you…........ but how to ditch them without accidentally throwing away pieces of who you are.

When we packed up our stuff and sent it over the ocean, we had renters for the house we were leaving behind. Now we do not.

Sadly, the house is a pricey rental at a time when cutting back is the name of the game. It would work out great for an extended family, or even two couples sharing a house.

The question that keeps looming, poking up its ugly head, is, will we find ourselves in a losing battle here?

I do not want to find out that is the case many tens of thousands of dollars later. Time to reconsider what letting go really means, and really let go. Whether of the fear – always my first choice – or of the resource drain.

This fits with this place in life and being like a calfskin glove

mahalo my friends

Seeing Hopena, Julie, and restless with this goal encourages me to try it too!