Ex boyfriend makes me hate myself. Its like hes been holding up a fun house mirror to my face for three years showing exactly what a disgusting, worthless piece of crap he thinks I am and why everybody hates me. In fact, people hate me because I destroyed my soul in order to be with him. I only just got away from the relationship and his hurt over the breakup is only making things much, much worse. Heres the last thing he wrote to me:
“Im not trying to be classy, just thought you should know the truth. I dont care if Im pushing you further out of my life. Its not like you could be any further than being in France fucking other guys and not returning my emails or phone calls – and lying about it. Thats my base line, thats what you wanted, and its what I compare things to now. I wasted $2,000 + $2,000 in lost wages to come visit you while you hid everything from me and treated me like a piece of trash, with me more confused than ever. I have no respect for you. You are a slut. Youre a liar. You are NOT a legitimate girl, despite what you may think. Youre the girl that steals from her boyfriend and sets records for being a hypocrite. Its gross. I used to stand up for you when people talked shit about you. I now realize why EVERYONE who has had to live with you since I met you (and therefore actually got to know you and had to be around you) HATES you. When you look past the tits and ass, and past the mild intelligence (for a girl), you see the personality. And thats where things get ugly. At least Laura knew her flaws and knew she didnt amount to much in some departments. She at least treated me very well in other departments and would have never pulled the illegitimate inhumane shit youve pulled on me. You disgust me almost as much as the disgusting country of France. You and your gross ass yellow & pink hair should just go back there where youre on the same level as the disturbingly creepy guys. Oh and you should work on changing your orgasm sounds, for the sake of your new guy(s). Fucking you was obnoxious, even while thinking of other girls. Stay the fuck out of my life, and that includes snow club trips. Nobody in that club really likes you much either, in case you didnt notice early on.”
Part of me is still relieved to be away from him, part of me just feels like crying and crawling under a rock so nobody has to deal with my horrible personality anymore. I’m not going to write anything back and I’m going to try to keep him away from me, but its really hard because he has a lot of reach into my life. Maybe I really should go back to France.
