have the patience to raise my children well

• Use positive reinforcement.
• Create a positive environment.
• Say yes as much as possible.
• Save no for the important things.
• Use natural consequences.
• Use logical consequences.
• Use restitution.
• Leave it up to your child.
• Compromise.
• State your expectations, and get out of the way.
• Give specific instructions.
• Give a reason.
• Offer help.
• Give a choice.
• Redirect your child.
• Remove your child.
• Make positive statements.
• Give in occasionally.
• Give your child time to agree.
• Simply insist.
• Make rules.
• Ignore some behavior.
• Avoid nagging and threats.
• Distract your child.
• Use humor.
• Make it a game.
• Be willing to admit your mistakes.
• Stop and think before you act.
• Don’t make a big fuss over little things.
• Stick to routines.
• Don’t hurry your children too much.
• Get to the root of the problem.
• Correct one behavior at a time.
• Give yourselves time.
• Use the golden rule.
• Model appropriate behavior.
• Think of your child as an equal.
• Always keep your love for your child in mind.

—from Natural Family Living by Peggy O’Mara

I don’t completely agree with all of it—I don’t truly believe my children are yet equals in a lot of senses, for example—but overall I think it’s a good list. Even the parts I don’t agree with entirely are pretty close, I think.

it’s patience with children…no other trait is more important to helping your children grow up into amazing creatures…not having patience leads towards a parent-child relationship that is punctuated by anger, frustration, and ignorance.