change myself, twenty minutes at a time

is to regrow my spontaneity bone.

You know the one. It wiggles about and quivers in joyousness when I shout “Today we go to Kalapana!”

And then I throw sunscreen in the car, make sure I’ve got my driver’s license and gas money, maybe some water, a change into flatlander clothes, and jump in and head out.

is this waking all the way up in the middle of the night

and now, I am going to seek and mayhaps find that elusive sleep, most likely spilling sleep over into the morning hours while the pups do what they can to get me up

But how different am I?

Today I had an intent to do a certain task at the treehouse. But I ended up doing something completely different. I cleaned the car.

The car was really a mess. We use the Element for all the chore work, and certain people who shall remain nameless buy snack food and leave the dregs in there.

You cannot leave organic material in the car, especially here. So I used a Dr Bronners soap to clean the whole interior, after I swept it out. The dogs love the brooms, so we had some fun there.

Then I brought their bed out and put it on the fully reclined seats, and we went to the dinner benefit at the Cooper Center and the puppies lounged. It all worked beautifully.

So how am I different? I am a little cleaner by virtue of my car being clean. I am a little happier because my dogs had a fine spot to recline for the evening, not shoved together into their crate. And I did not have to cook or clean up afterwards, so yay! Now I am going to be fully decadent and go watch any show I want to on TV because we get to do that here. How crazy is that?

Here’s the first lot of Take Twenty ideas – they’re all designed to be bite-sized chunks of my larger goals, as well as some screwball items thrown in there for good measure. And they must all be completed before I come up with any more.

• Relax into a series of simply yoga poses. done – this makes me feel so amazing
• Complete Pilates sculpting arm workout, with stretches.
• Get outside for a walk. Explore. Pay attention to the senses. done! Walked from one end of town to the other. Uphill. And then home
• Do facial yoga.
• Skip.

• Learn how to tie a silk scarf. done – an entirely necessary skill!
• Read a chapter or two from Free to Choose.
• Browse the news stories from a randomly generated city somewhere out there in the big wide world. done – browsed through the harrowing African section on the BBC’s website

• Clean out my drawers. Fold. Rearrange. Get rid of one item. done – ditched an old bra and a top that I’ve never felt compelled to wear. One wonders why we buy these things?!
• Clear my inbox. Completely. done – trust me to start with something involving organisation

• Visualise myself achieving something I really want.
• Rub lavender oil into my wrists and temples; lie down with soothing music in the background.

• Rant. For twenty minutes. About anything.
• Write a short story set on another planet.
• Handwrite a letter. done – a darling note to my darling mother. She’s awesome

• Write my own obituary.
• Learn how to say “hello”, “goodbye” and “how are you” in Spanish.

• Come up with words and phrases for my vision board.
• Browse through potential pictures on flickr.done – found a couple more
• Research a meal to slow cook.

edit: I’ve just noticed that, by lucky chance, I picked exactly twenty Take Twenty items. 8/20

I’ve been incredibly inspired by Moose’s chessboard idea (moving things forward in your life across the board, small step at the time). I want to play the game, and this goal seems an excellent place to do it. Twenty minutes is the ideal amount of time to work with for me. It’s small enough to entice me, and long enough to move me towards my goals.

My first twenty minute move is to define my parameters and create categories for the challenge. Tonight.

I had joined Toastmasters at work to get past that self consciousness that can make you feel so on-the-spot in front of a crowd. I was looking for jokes that could be told in a conservative politically-correct work environment and came across 43 Things.

How intriguing! What do I want to do with my life? The idea of actually publishing goals and tracking progress was super appealing to me. I had life plans but everything felt so back burner to me that it was like my dreams had fallen into quicksand.

43Things inspired my treehouse goal. The Hawaii move was always there. I hadn’t been doing much writing so felt disconnected from my core.

As this two year anniversary approaches check out the goal progress!

See a total eclipse of the sun. I think I retired that goal, but we have reservations in Tahiti for next year!

Offer an outstanding wedding destination. By the end of the month our wedding pavilion will ship from Bali. And be built in the rainforest in August!

Build a treehouse. Dang! I had no idea what a fantastic delightful project that would turn into and the build begins July 5.

Move to Hawaii. Need I say more!

Along the way there have been amazing people. Some of us have met in Chicago, Alameda, Emeryville. My daughter’s birthday present was made by Razz. Shelly did the parting gifts for my team at the office. There is one friendship that is a magical weaving that could only have happened in this very way. And now I write. Not just entries but poetry. And there is the novel I may or may not complete and publish.

And look at you all! Published novels and other books. Marriages. Joining regularly in lifting up anyone in need or wishing wonders on each other on our birthdays.

Is this not amazing?

There is so much filling every day routinely that change feels burdensome. It feels like adding in chores.

In truth, I am slow to get everyday tasks done, and quick to attack the new. It makes for disorder.

Stacks of the undone paralyze me. And they happen, when I leave town especially.

How to change this part of myself? How to find enthusiasm for the mail on the tabletop?

This is a slow goal

slower than the 20 minutes at a time implies.

that the tree trimming was concluded and the debris pile hauled away before Thanksgiving.

As I sit here, I wonder what changed about me, having undertaken that task. I may have gained some upper body strength, or I may have strained multiple parts of my upper body.

My honey definitely is still suffering, which means he gets extra time in on the massage table. Not a horrible fate.

I checked into a chipper purchase today. The one I want requires that the cut pieces dry out before going through the cutters or they will cause a green jam in there. I think I may see about renting a chipper that has nastier jaws.

This changing myself piece needs some sub goals, like

: walk 10000 steps a day or skip chocolate
: clean my bathroom or clean my desk
: get a haircut or skip the pedicure

Well, you see what I mean. For some reason I am better at chocolate and pedicures than haircuts and various cleaning chores.

But the trees are trimmed. And that was huge.

This means shortly we will fill up the car with the tools we need and drive out to the coast.

It was two months ago we decided to do this ourselves instead of paying a thousand dollars to someone else.

The changing myself part here is the two months aspect. There is no particular reason it has taken two months, other than that part of those two months my husband or I was out of town, and tree trimming is not a solitary activity.

What I am working on here is the change that will mean I do not put things off for no good reason. A surprising amount of tasks get into that bucket. The flip side is not making one’s self nuts trying to be on top of everything all the time. _{See how easy it is for me to justify putting things off, still?}