Be optimistic

Tommorow’s college orientation. It will go out fine. I will meet my old friends, re connect, and talk with new ones.

I’ll be confident.

Everything’ll be alright. And I wont worry about a thing. :)

i can do this.
i can do it.

i think i’m getting better at this :)
my way of thinking is changing.

when things just aren’t going right
it’s so hard to look on the bright side of things
it’s so hard to imagine that life will get better,
and even though you know that it will,
a part of you worries and says “what if it doesn’t?? what if i’m stuck like this for years?
what if i never get to enjoy my youth because i’m stuck being alone..?
what if i’m doomed to be miserable…?”

see now that’s not being optimistic.
but even though i try,
my mind keeps wondering about the “what ifs”.
when you spend every day on your own,
when you have no one,
when all of your friends don’t care,
when it feels as though no one thinks about you or thinks “i’d like to spend time with her”...
it’s hard to see the bright side of things.
it’s hard to imagine that my life will get better,
that i will find some great, down-to-earth, likeminded friends,
that i will find a boy who loves me and wants to spend time with me and thinks i’m the most special person in the world and won’t treat me like i don’t matter…
that happiness will return…

I somewhat realize that I have negative outlook or that I’m mostly down in the dumps because of the things I keep feeding my mind, the media, the music, etc, etc. All the minor melodies, all the low light setting, it’s like I like sitting in the dark, even with my speech, sometimes its all gray. So, I am deciding that I will filter those thing out and fill it with more upbeat, major keys, sun shines and bright lights, smiles and directness. No more shades of gray.

deleted…double post.

wtf am i even moping about?
i shouldn’t let a stupid boy get to me.
so he won’t talk to me, so what!

it’s a waste of time to even think about it.
i should just be out living every second,
not worrying about what other people think!
all that matters is what i think of myself,
not them.

i’ve got friends, i’ve got people who like me, and love me, for who i am.
so why even bother with those who don’t.
i should just make the most of my life with those people.

jesse is just some guy i met like, 2 weeks ago.
why am i even thinking about him?
meh.

I really have to let go of some things in order to be happy.

one of those thing is a lady I fell in love with because of her face, her smile, her soul, her words and her thought that I encounter in a blog. It ridiculous because she doesn’t care a bit about me at all, and I’m just so hard headed about it. Its stupid, foolish, and it making me pessimistic and all sort of negative emotions.

I wish to get rid of this stupidity and be happy once again.

I would like to be optimistic or upbeat because its a positive and healthy mindset.

I still have negative thoughts and habits but hopefully by becoming aware of this negative mindset and having a desire to change will help me to achieve this goal.

After one day of consciously trying to be optimistic, I already feel better… amazing.