have a happy marriage

im getting married june 12, 2009!

While this isn’t a goal that can ever be complete, I feel like I’ve been at a the point where I can mark it as such for a while. A point of rather constant conscientiousness. I’m being lazy and I don’t feel like searching out the words that would better describe this lovely state of marital being. That, and there is too much to be said about marriage and happiness for me to consider where to even begin right now. I’ll make it a priority to organize my thoughts in the near future – if only for the sake of journaling something besides my agenda and grocery lists. In the meantime, I simply want to acknowledge the nature of this goal and the general nature of it’s completion. Fin.

I want to actually love my husband and not just be in the marriage, because i have kids and its the right thing to do. I see a lot of people being together and they might love each other but you can tell they are not in love anymore. And I want my husband and I to stay in love even at our 50th wedding anniversary.

i hope that he is willing to try to work on having a happy marriage with me

Things are pretty good and honestly I don’t know what I else I would change about the marriage (because I can’t really change him now can I? :))

Here’s to another good year.

Yesterday was a great day. We both took the day off work and did some fun things together as well as a bit of stuff at home and took in a movie. For those out there working on this if you can ever manage to do something like this (day off in the middle of the week to just have fun in your city) it can be really great!

I was thinking about 43things due to finishing another “thing” and I realize that I don’t know when this one is done. I don’t think I am ready to mark it off yet (and indeed, working on this never ends) but that is something for me to think about. I can always add it back again if need be.

This weekend included one tiff, one spat, and also quite a few nice times (and affection.) I guess that is what a marriage is. Friday has hard because we were pretty out of sync (one of us had the afternoon off, and the other was working hard long hours) but by this morning we were doing great.

What is wrong with me? I love my husband and I know he loves me but I am seriously jealous of his past. I am always looking to catch him in a lie and I never find anything. I should trust him especially being that I never caught him in any major lie that would destruct our marriage. But when he finds out the snooping I do he gets mad, who can blame him I am the one at fault.Am I crazy? This is all I can think is that I possibly lost my mind.

My husband is not the most perfect man in the world and I have forgiven him for A LOT, but I just snap at him for everything. I have a lot of animosity towards him and I wish I didn’t. I honestly wonder if I’m being too hard on him or if I deserve better.

I want to be able to trust my husband. I want my husband to want to be with me and our children. I want my husband to feel like i am his partner in life(instead of the blonde at work) I want to be happy together till we grow old and have a house full of grandkids to spoil.