stop loving him

my god i’ve fallen hard, but for someone who doesnt love me back. he’s my best friend, although i’m not his. he has been going out with one girl for almost a year, but she’s dumped him more times than both he and i can count on our fingers and toes combined. He’s so far in love with her that no matter how stupid her reason to break up with him, and no matter how much she hurts him, he always accepts her back.
when they first started going out, she hated me, his girlfriend i mean. she made him stop talking to me. he loved her so much he actually hated me because of her. the only thing that kept me fucking alive was knowing he was happy, even if it was without me. i gave up my want to be with him a long time ago, now i just want him to be happy.
his girl friend still hates me. she tells him things about me that are untrue, and she makes him break my heart. i trip and hurt myself to make him laugh, i pretend to walk into things to see him smile. i come home with bruises and bumps, and of course my parents dont notice. i’ve gotten good with makeup now… i’ve done the stupidest things just to know that i make him laugh. i leave him alone when his girlfriend tells me to, so that i know he’s happy. i give him a shoulder to cry on when she dumps him at least once every other week, then when i attempt suicide because of heartbreak i dont want to tell him. it would make him worry, and then he wouldnt be happy.
i couldnt do that to him
it breaks my heart to see him frown, if i cant spend my life with him and have us both be happy, then he should be happy, i dont care if i’m miserable
i want to see his smile when i die
i want to know that he’s happy. and i will do everything in my power to make sure he is. if i have to stand before him as he points a gun to my face i will stand there with a smile on my face because i’ll know that he finally acknowledged my presence.

I want to forget him. Every time I remember him I always remember my past. Every time I see him with others it hurts me a lot. Every time I see him it makes my day complete. I know its Love not infantuati0n. But I also need to stop loving him. The more I love him the more I lost myself.

I doubt I will ever stop loving him. He has come and gone in my life (as a friend) for decades. When I met him again this last time, he blew me away with his kindness and intelligence. There’s truly no on else like him.

However, I realize there will never be a personal relationship between us. We are friends and work together. That’s it. If I could change that situation, I’d change it immediately. I can’t.

My goal is to train myself to think of him differently than I have. It’s a challenge but must be done. Our professional relationship is too valuable for me to lose it over an impossibility.

this is ridiculous. I have to stop doing this. He always comes back but he always leaves again. Does the intensity and persistence of my feeling for him mean that this is eventually going to work out? I feel that the answer is no and yet I make all the sacrifices, I am always the one losing in this one and I cannot forget about him. Maybe someday I will read this and it won’t matter so much to me anymore then. I hope so.

I really, really need to stop loving him…He just wants to be friends, and my jealousy is ruining our friendship.

God it’s so hard; why can’t anyone else come along?

He’s at orientation right now and I can already tell we aren’t going to make it past the first week. What really sucks is today is our nine months. But I can tell-it isn’t going to work. I thought it might, we’ll only be 45 minutes from each other and it’s been so good. But like I said-it’s already looking bad. So maybe it’s best to stop loving him now-before it’s too late. I’m supposed to be so excited right now “the best time of my life” and all I really want to do is cry. Am I terrible for just wanting to stop loving him now?

I got to move on, he just wants to be friends.

i fell in love with a very good friend of mine, we spent so much time together and always had so much fun when we were together, so he got into a relationship and got married i still spend a lot of time with him but its a church thing and i try to get a way but he always checks on me so its hard to get away, so the only thing i can think of is to treat him like crap and hope he gets the idea and stops persuing our friendship, oh its hurts so much and i feel like ill never be free from this, i just want to die when im around him.

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:58 am Post subject:

I am in a crazy situation right and I am racking my brain trying to figure the best way to handle things so I can keep the little bit sanity I have left.

I will make it short, I am in a band that is doing really well right now , a lot shows booked , over seas tours, great money , awesome experience and oppurtunity. But my ex is the lead guy in the band , he taught me everything gave this great oppurtunity and so much more. He now of course many years later and many of his head games he just recently decided he does not feel for me even as a friend anymore because he would get pissy when I would try to communicate with him and ask him how we can get our friendship back to healthy point, I never get any answers.
He plays with alot of peoples emotions , wants his cake and eat too kinda thing , I do not know how to handle his rejection and I do not know how to deal with the other women he says is a friend but I can see it is much more, and it is going to be in my face for a long time. I do not want to quit the band, I have worked hard to get to this point and I do not want to have to walk away , just because my lame ass cant except the fact that out of the blue he became a freaking douchebag and is treating me like shit, it is making it hard to put my emotion into the music , how do play someone elses music with passion and all your heart when that person gives you nothing.
so much for being short, but i just so desperatly want to get over or have that friendship again, his acting like he cant stand me or could care less about me is driving me crazy and causing anxiety every time we play a show together I cannot just be ok with the fact that he does care about me at all anymore.

Please if anyone has any advice on how to be around someone you care about and they do not feel the same I would really appreciate any advice , even if it is going to be a little harsh

Peace. thanks

Okay, so I did something really stupid like a year ago, and I broke out of my comfort box, and asked this extremely attricative guy out. He trashed me though. Me and my best friend as well, and even though I wounldn’t accept him now even if me asked, I also miss him, and I wish every day that he had given me a chance instead of judging me. I just makes me sad, and upset, and hurt, and i think that those could be signs of love?? IDK!!!