Lessen the jealousy

My jealousy generally pertains to three things:

1) money
2) travel
3) education

I have no money, I cannot afford to travel, I am light years away from a 4 year degree, and do not know if I will have the grades, intellectual ability, time, and funds to even consider doing a graduate degree. So perhaps it is natural to envy those who have what I want!

There are other things – for example, making the realy most of one’s 20s – that cause jealosy, but those three are the biggest and baddest of the bunch.

I am a little embarrassed to admit this, but I have been really jealous of Paris Hilton lately. Really jealous. I feel just awful when I see a picture of her, and they are everywhere! I envy her lifestyle so much; she has and is living her 20s to the absolute fullest: travelling every month all over the world, partying nightly, attending big fun events, living on her own in a safe, beautiful place. and the last thing she needs to worry about is money. and everyone knows it! I would love to travel and party and have money (I dont need multiple millions, just enuf to be comfy) like she does.

Im actively trying to feel sympathetic joy. This is a Buddhist concept whereby one, instead of feeling envious of another who is happy/successful/etc, shares in their joys, thus increasing one’s own happiness through others’ happiness.

Sympathetic joy certainly takes the edge off, but it is hard, at this stage, to remember to do this. and even when I do do it, there is still an undercurrent of jealousy. Sympathetic joy will take practice, but perhaps one day will be a way of life for me~

Green-eyed monster, although you do keep me company, you also happen to cause me grief. Can you please leave me and go someplace else?

I know you’ll want to visit in the future, you can’t stay away forever, but when you do come by for a visit, can you please make it short and sweet~

Jealousy has steadily become an issue for me since I graduated from college. I don’t recall having an issue with this most intrusive emotion until after I was thrust into “the real world.” I am not satisfied or happy with where I am at and what I have done over the past two to three years and this dissatisfaction at not having what I want creates jealousy, cynicism, and harsh judgment of self and others. I’m most jealous of money, travel experience, education, nice feet, boobs that don’t get in your way, and nice bodyskin (like no stretch marks or bruises, that kind of thing). Since jealousy is harmful to myself (and others too), I would like to progressively lessen it, to take the edge off and move closer towards acceptance and contentment with what is, what has been, and what might be~