I will never be a true extrovert, but I want to make new friends and not bail on events or hang outs with the ones I have. I want to find a balance between being a lazy hermit and burning out on social interaction. 1 month ago
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I don’t know… I’d rather be alone than with people that continually disgust me. That makes for a very small amount of people to hang out with on a regular basis. 1 month ago
Mostly, I’m doing this to see how my social life is right now. I feel pretty lonely at times, so I want to see if my social calendar is in fact that empty. Anyway, I’m on a one-week break this week so I owe it to myself to have some fun with friends besides the tons of homework I have waiting for me.
- This Monday, I’ll be going to a gym with a friend, M. First time going to gym, a bit nervous.
- On Tuesday, M & me & maybe P (Paulina) will be at a girl’s night-thing on Bergsjögården
- Sometime this week, I’ll go shopping & have to see if M’s available.
- Have to schedule in movie-night with my brother, H. (:
- Go out running at least once (it’s not really social, but if I can be confident enough to do that, I’ll ‘feel’ more social. It makes sense to me at least :p) 2 months ago
Im new on this webside and my English isn’t that good since I am from Germany, so please be kind. Since my last relationship 3 years ago, I pretty much isolated myself from others. Having only one friend and no contact at all with other people for 3 years, I noticed that it is time for a change in my life. I am very bad at talking to other people and I’m also very afraid of messing up, getting humilated or embarrased in any way in front of people. I stopped my study in the university since 1 year and I am living now all the time at home in front of the laptop. It is kind of weird to admit to strangers that most of the time I’m still feeling lonley but can’t do anything about it.
Good luck to all of you! 2 months ago
The takeaway is that being appropriately social is the key to success. It’s stuff like remembering people’s names and details about their lives, seeing everything from the other’s point of view, always smiling and making people feel welcome and special and stuff like that which, at this point may seem a little obvious. The question is, do I want this bad enough to work this hard? Being “chipper” is not my natural state. Having to do the work it would take just to be reasonably good at remembering people’s names may be too much for me. I have to admit, I envy people for whom this is a natural, easy thing. So…I’m mulling this all over. I just may not be cut out for this goal.
On the other hand, I’ve been on a couple dates recently! The first dates in, literally, years. No keepers, but it was nice to be all nervous and excited about getting all dolled up for a nearly perfect stranger. So, I am being a bit more social.
So, I’ve signed up for three classes and one seminar: guitar lessons, stained glass lessons, and a photography class. I’ve also signed up for a separate photography seminar. I’m pretty excited about these classes and who knows who I may meet! 3 months ago
I’m the kind that doesn’t like small talk. It seems meaningless to me, and I generally avoid it. Chatter for the purpose of making noise is foolish to me.
Yet it seems not many others think the way I do. In fact human relationships of all kinds seem built upon “meaningless” small talk. I have spent most of my college time this past school year feeling quite lonely. I never engaged people in small talk, and they never engaged me. Since I came off as an aloof hermit, there was no reason they would want to.
It turns out small talk, or even just saying “hi” to someone as you pass them between classes, has a purpose. Or at least that’s my theory. It opens a channel for communication. It shows you are friendly. Saying “how are you” might seem empty at the time but it shows you want to be in good standing with them. And this opens the possibility of you and that person talking to each more about more substantial stuff. In short, making friendships.
This is my goal – to get better with those little social niceties. From there I can progressively improve, tackling more challenging things for me like holding a one-on-one conversation with a person I’m not super close friends with, without anyone else around. 3 months ago