Reach 50 days of abstinence from compulsive overeating.

I actually reached 50 days of abstinence and I am so pleased and so proud! It feels weird as I’m not whooping with joy as my pet rabbit died yesterday and I am so incredibly sad about that (guess you would have to be a real animal lover to understand how someone could cry buckets over a rabbit but I did…) However, that in itself shows how far I have come as in the past I would have reached for the food at a time like that and last night I didn’t. I really felt my feelings and didn’t try to numb them with excess food. Now onto Day 75….Thank you for all the support you have given me so far – it means alot…

And here is the pic taken today..

I have just found a photo of what I looked like at my heaviest and I wanted to post that on here as well as an up to date photo. I need to remind myself of where I have been and how far I have come – and if I can do it, then anyone can!

Wow, I am so close!! It has been touch and go a few times but I am getting there. It is amazing how powerful the negative voices are within me and how easy it would be to slip back into those old ways of perceiving myself – that I’m not worth looking after properly and what does it matter if I overeat and slob around and don’t take care of myself…but it DOES matter now and I am going to keep going and ask more of myself every day of my life – not in a pressurised way but in a way that shows I value who I am and all I can be. Roll on Day 50!

I can’t believe this is going so well. I love the feeling of being abstinent. I so want to take care of myself right now and am exercising more and eating well and feeling positive about the future. I want this to be my way of life for always…

I can’t believe I have reached Day 40 and am still abstinent! I feel really good about it too and the thoughts of eating excess food are so much less than they used to be. I feel healthier, happier, more confident and pleased that I can treat myself so well. It is always one day at a time and I am not getting complacent as I know I could slip at any time, but I am proud of what I have achieved so far.

I am starting to reap the physical benefits of this abstinence as today I wore a pair of smart black trousers that I had never been able to fit into before! Losing weight is not the main aim of staying abstinent but it is a good side-effect! My main aim is peace of mind and freedom from compulsive behaviour, which is like gold dust to me…

This is a more difficult day but I am reminding myself of how good I feel when I know I have treated my body and soul with the respect that they deserve. To overeat and not care what I am doing to myself and what the consequences will be is a truly awful dark place to be and I don’t want to go back there. Remaining abstinent gives light and hope to my life. I vow to remain abstinent for the rest of this day….

All my adult life I have had eating disorders and I have struggled to find some balance in my life. With the help of OA I have come to terms with alot of the underlying issues that have caused me to act insanely around food, but the physical cravings still persisted. Now I want to beat that too and this is the only way to do it. I have already achieved my first goal of 30 days so this is the next one!