sceptre4444 is logging in after 1 year absense
I'm feeling
15 months ago
better about this now. I still want to loose it but the burden doesn’t feel so heavy.
How to lose my virginity in a non-contrived manner
It made me 
"Well I did it. When I said in a non-contrived manner, I meant with someone I cared for deeply, not simply paying someone to take this burden of my shoulders."
How I did it: Well, at 37 years old, I had serious doubts I would ever experience not being a virgin. I realized that being a virgin, was seen as a negative to the majority of society, who wondered what was wrong with me. But then I did something rather strange. I put a personals ad, with a fake name and no picture, claiming, instead of hiding, that I was a virgin. (I did hide my identity, however). The idea came from a user on 43T.
One day I received an email from a woman, who was also a virgin. We started discussing openly our thoughts on the delicate topic. Although it was a dating site, this felt more like support for one another. But bit by bit it turned into long correspondence with topics moving from virginity support to more dating type topics. Finally she and I met. We were an instant Match. I had never had met someone that I felt so strongly for right from the start. Both of us being in our 30s with next to no experience led to each of us growing together. Each date we both felt a little more confident. 4 Months later, we decided that we each were not getting younger, so we stole away to a romantic Mountain Lodge and we lost our virginity together.
Lessons & tips: If you're a guy, Don't wait. (unless you're like 15 or something). A woman wants to be with someone confident, and if it's your first time, she'll may be turned off. If you're a woman, there's no need to rush. No decent guy will reject you if you're a virgin. I'd like to think if you're a virgin guy, no decent woman would reject you, but I never got a chance to test this.
My best lesson is if you want a meaningful experience, and you're an older virgin, try to find someone with similar lack of experience. It worked very well for me. Granted the odds of finding an older virgin, if you are one yourself, are definitely against you.
Resources: Users on 43 Things.
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Entries
sceptre4444 is logging in after 1 year absense
New Goal
16 months ago
Decided ‘Loose my Virginity” wasn’t a good goal, so renamed it. I need to date more and be more comfortable around women. Loosing one’s Virginity can be easily lost (provided you have a fair amount of cash) but less easy to loose without doing so in a contrived/artificial manner.
In other words loosing this in relationship is my goal, not using a hooker or FWB.
sceptre4444 is logging in after 1 year absense
The following was a discussion on another member’s list of things that started as his issue but ended in mine.
sceptre4444 is logging in after 1 year absense
clubbing
2 years ago
If you’ve read any other the other threads on this goal under my username, you’d know this isn’t less about actually loosing the virginity and more about the journey.
Tonight, I overcame my resistance and tried picking up women at a couple of bars. I have no doubt if the situation was right I’d take a woman home. But I really doubted that would ever occur. Tonight was more about talking to women again. I can talk with ease to women I know from my ski club or something, but a pub/club is much different. So I talked to a few women, but not much came of it. Nevertheless I hadn’t approached a woman in a bar since I was 18 (Canada),17 years ago.
Not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. The toughest part was spoting single women I could talk with. Unfortunately, when I did get my chance, I ended up talking about ‘safe’ subjects, I wish I could flirt more.
sceptre4444 is logging in after 1 year absense
Afraid to touch
2 years ago
Losing my virginity is probably something I need to work up to. I’m confident in so many ways, but when it comes to touching, I have no confidence. Even when I do get a couple of dates with a woman, I’m afraid to give her a kiss. I feel like I’m somehow violating her or something. I don’t know what a breast feels like or anything. This is so hard to write, I’m over 30. I’m an extravert and I talk with women at ease (cause I treat them like friends) but I’m embarrased to ask if they are in a relationship. My life is so sucessful in so many other ways – University degree, up until recently a very well paid job, plain and simple I’m afraid of intimacy.
Ask for advice: Get help from people who've accomplished this goal
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sceptre4444 asks,
“Would you have Sex with a Friend (FWB), to help them get over their sexual issues?”
— 2 years ago |
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