Bond with other INFJ's.

As I write this, I will retire this goal. I intend to visit often, and welcome any and all interaction. It has been delightful getting to see some of my friends from this perspective.

Do you live in your plans?

The reason I ask this is, I make plans. The intensity of looking forward to things is so strong that in many ways the anticipation is even greater than the experience itself, until of course, after the event, and then it is the memory.

And in between is the actuality.

When I am in the actuality I always remind myself that I am there. It is as I am bringing myself to the most exact present I can, to fully experience it.

Is this my own particular weirdness, or is this a trait we have in common, to one degree or another, here in the INFJ world?

I recently retook the test, and came up INFP… does that mean I am on the cusp, or have I just changed that much over the last year?

What do you think – once an INFJ, always an INFJ, or are we faited to change as life moves in new directions?

Also, you guys going to kick me out of the club!?

I have tested alternately as INFJ and INTJ, depending on the mood I’m in, I suppose. I often feel like I live in a tiny little intersection, where lots of other personality types overlap. Every now and then I meet a person who is kind of like me, and it feels like happening upon someone who speaks my language in the midst of a vast, foreign country, or maybe even on a different planet.

I’m too practical to fit in with dreamy people, but too creative to fit in with “normal” people, and my introspective/insightful/mastermind nature makes me miserable in group situations, unless the group is full of people whose minds leap ahead. I’m shy and I hate to be the leader, but it’s so hard to sit quietly and watch the others mired in quicksand.

When I found out that my personality type was rare, it was a relief to know that my feelings of isolation and different-ness weren’t all in my head, and that what seems abnormal for others is actually normal for me. Still, it’s lonely, and the chance of meeting a mate who really “gets” me seems slim to none.

One touchdown doesn’t win the game, but baby, it sure comes at the right time. Hoooooray for Barack Obama.

What do you think, ENFJ? Riding the INFJ borders? Or ENFP?

What do you see as being the distinctions, as to both what he brings to the country and the factors in his success?

All that aside, it makes me so damn happy to have a leader who expresses a sense of the needs of the country economically, within the collective psyche, outwardly with the rest of the world. A person of vision, clarity, conscience. And most important of all, someone who steps firmly and squarely into the breach.

What personality type is your partner’s, or what personality types do you tend to fall into relationships with? Or, if that’s too personal, do you have any general thoughts on the subject of myers-briggs personality compatibility?

I wondered if there was any “rule of compatibility”, and I didn’t find one (didn’t look too long, I must admit) but I did find a page about what INFJs need in a relationship, and I found it interesting.

http://www.personality-power-for-everyday-living.com/Compatibility-test-infj.html

Of course, I don’t believe there are any rules on who you should fall in love with – just curious as to if there is a general pattern.

I think my fiance is probably an INTJ (Hey Mahinui, you said the same of your husband!) I think he and I balance each other out very well.

For me, they start with Halloween.

Growing into the holidays and growing into myself have been a part of the same process.

Last night we did our usual Halloween routine. My husband never wants to dress up but then longs for more ghoulishness about himself, and contents himself with the rubber gloves with the nasty claws, that he pokes out the door at the little children. I believe he is INTJ BTW. He will not take the test, as he does not want to feel bound by any categories.

The dog – a german shepherd – loves to come to the door and growl at the small people. I hold him back and cackle at my husband to “hold onto the wolf”. So far, no children have run away before getting their candy.

What I am saying here is that I and we love the holidays. We love the play acting and the decorating. In another incarnation, we could have been set designers, the two of us. It is part of what binds us together, I think. The getting together, it’s part of it too. The food, the drink, the conviviality.

What about everyone else?

How do you celebrate?

How do you feel about the holidays?

do you long to run off and skip it all on a tropical island, and if so, have you ever?

What do you like best, and least, about this celebratory time of year?

In answer to mulya’s question, “What’s something about you that we might not know from reading your 43T entries?”, most of us said something like “I’m an open book.” But Wren’s description of INFJ includes “Reserved about expressing their true selves.”

So, are we open books, or do we just like to think we are?

People express surprise about how much I will reveal, especially in writing. So, I think of myself as an open book because I apparently reveal more than others expect. I have several outlets on the Internet and I reveal more on 43T than any of the others. 43T is not quite as findable (googling my name doesn’t bring up my 43T entries) and something about setting goals, struggling with them, and attaining them makes me want to reveal more details than with ordinary activities like blogging.

On the other hand, when I really think about it, there are many, many things that I don’t talk about even on 43 Things. I hint at some spiritual issues, but the actual experiences are for me alone. I still keep a paper journal that has more whining in it than I allow myself to do on 43T. My Midwestern culture taught me to be reticent about sex, money, and politics and so I only discuss them here in the broadest of strokes.

So, the juxtaposition of mulya’s question and wren’s description made me realize that I’m less of an open book than I like to think. Other INFJs, what’s your experience in this area? Are we alike or different here?

to post some INFJ descriptions. I found this one and like it because I can very much identify with these characteristics. The only one I don’t relate to is that one about being tightly wound.

INFJs generally have the following traits:

• Intuitively understand people and situations
• Idealistic
• Highly principled
• Complex and deep
• Natural leaders
• Sensitive and compassionate towards people
• Service-oriented
• Future-oriented
• Value deep, authentic relationships
• Reserved about expressing their true selves
• Dislike dealing with details unless they enhance or promote their vision
• Constantly seeking meaning and purpose in everything
• Creative and visionary
• Intense and tightly-wound
• Can work logically and rationally – use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it

The INFJ is a special individual who needs more out of a career than a job. They need to feel as if everything they do in their lives is in sync with their strong value systems – with what they believe to be right. Accordingly, the INFJ should choose a career in which they’re able to live their daily lives in accordance with their deeply-held principles, and which supports them in their life quest to be doing something meaningful. Since INFJs have such strong value systems, and persistent intuitive visions which lend them a sense of “knowing”, they do best in positions in which they are leaders, rather than followers. Although they can happily follow individuals who are leading in a direction which the INFJ fully supports, they will very unhappy following in any other situation.

There is a more complete description from the same source here

It is even fascinating. When some others join in, I hope they come onto mulya’s getting to know you thread too.

Reading everyone’s answers, I automatically began to wonder, if we alike in so many ways, how are we different? Is it subtle, or clear and stark?

So I am posing some questions that might reveal differences. I’ll wander over into controversial territory, and in doing so, I hope not to offend anyone.

Do you think much about right to life and right to die issues? If you do, would you feel comfortable laying out your thoughts here?

If such issues are up on priority screen, do you feel those issues belong with other rights, such as the right to enjoy the privileges of marriage even if you are not heterosexual?

How is getting up in front of a group and making a presentation? Is this something you have had to work on, or does it come easily to you?

Do you consider yourself an experimenter? If so, in what ways?

I hope these questions are not off-putting – I guess I’ll know if no one steps up and answers….