get over phobia of trains

Me and a friend are lucky enough to be going Reading Festival this year – and we will be catching the train back from there! That will be one of the longest train journey’s I’ve ever been on so it’s pretty nerve wracking… but whereas before this would have made me not want to go at all, I’m actually finding that the excitement over Reading overpowers the nerves!

I’ve also set myself a huge challenge. I accepted the job in Ashburton which means regularly catching the train there and back – 4 days a week to be precise!! If that doesn’t help me get over this fear I don’t know what will!

20th Feb 09!!

Was at the zoo with the Playschemes group today!! Very difficult day but I’m loving it!! It’s very challenging… but thatt teaches me a lot.

Anyway, we were told to rush along, and I was with a girl who has literally only JUST stopped using a wheel chair so finds it very dificult and painful to walk. I managed today however to encourage her lots and she ended up running!!! So we were running somewhere pretty manicly… and we ended up at the mini train that goes around the whole zoo!! :O

Okay, so it isn’t a normal train, but normally I’d still have been terrified! My initial thoughts were of fear but straight away I blanked them out and I did it! I got on it!! The whole way round I was laughing with the girl and I was just fine!!

EEEP I think I’m coming along so well!! :)
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EEEP!!

I didn’t have to get on the train to Brum in the end… but on the 1st Feb we ended up (sort of by choice!!) to get the train from Wolverhampton to Alvechurch (past Birmingham)!!!

We had to even get off the trin at one point to switch!! Man it was scary!! But I did it!! I even had to sit on my own on a REALLY full train for a while!! I was so proud of myself!!

I was scared… but nowhere near as bad as any other time in the past. :) There was a few minutes where I paniced alot, but generally I think I did well! It was an excellent start to the month and I was really proud of myself!! :)
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OH MY GOSH!!!

I have to catch the train to Wolverhampton at the end of January!!

For my 18th, Emma bought me and her tickets to see Bloc Party… it’s gonna be an INCREDIBLE weekend, staying in a travel lodge and stuffs! But… the train!! :O

I’m sooo scared!! Emma’s been on one before with me. Well, she was even there the first time I got on the tube (and last)!! So of all people SHE knows how to handle it!! But all the same, I’m terrified!!

Bloc Party will cheer me up when I get out the coma though I spose! :P

Maybe this can be the next step towards conquering my fear.
x xx xx x

apparently it’s called sidromophobia…
but it’s really gay!!

it honestly is such an irrational fear… and it’s crazy to have it because when i move to a city or whatever for uni i’m going to need the train! and i have to miss out on loads of stuff… like i wanted to go to creation fest but couldn’t get there because of the stupid train being the only possible option!!

it really would be useful tog et over this.
a massive goal to have set myself but perhaps if i’m determined enough?

the other day, my friend howard made me stand in front of the steam train. it wasn’t moving but there was sound coming from it. it was terrifying, and it seems so little but this was a massive achievement for me seeing as i normally scream when at the station!!

here’s the picture of me by it anyway. pretty funny picture as i’m trying to smile but my face looks painfully scared!! :P

x xx x x