make friends

www.buzz.com, I’ve found is a more chat a network which really doesn’t work for me on a personal level. So I went back to facebook and signed up again to keep in contact with friends. Only I’ve now found a lot more than I bargained for. There was a time in my childhood where I felt that no one was a real friend to me. I was constantly the new girl and outcast as the result for most of my school years. At each school I went to, I’ve found someone through facebook and have added them to my ‘friends list’. But the more I talk to them and catch up with them, the more I don’t want to know them. Don’t get me wrong, these people I am reffering to were awful brats that have become very responsible adults and are making their way through life but I feel that since I am missing that childhood link to them, that I don’t see what I have in common with them now.

I have come to learn that friendship is not like I imagined. It doesn’t come easy or fast nor is is effortless to keep, but at the same time is exactly all those things. You know what I mean?

As a kid in grade school I thought I was bad at making friends. I had none, that was for sure, and I was tortured bad enough that 10 years later I am still getting therapy over it. I took that image of me through my teen and adult life: the image of someone friendless, and worse, undesirable as a friend. Along for the ride was an idealized version of what friendship should be and how it would save me.

It is only in the past year that I learned that friends do not save you from yourself. I have also learned that I am good at making friends, and I don’t have to make the sort of friends that cause me to doubt I have any. I can’t say that I am popular by any means, but I never wanted to be. I have a few people who I genuinely like and whose company I wish to keep. I can talk to them and have fun with them. They won’t make the past go away, but the sure make the present more enjoyable.

How do you make friends at age 52 when you put all your energy into work?

my cell was deliberately kept off for 2 months now. I made a call using skype to a friend back home. We talked for a while but since I caught her at a bad time, we did not chat long. She sounded happy to hear from me. Made some progress HUrray

Called a friend around here but she did not pick up. I left her a message to call me but no response. Oh I know why now, coz my cell is perpetually off.

:( Dissapointed. four opportunities for initiating amicability and freindship with kindred but I apathetically and inattentively circumvented the cohension. slaps self

I am facing a lot of difficulty making friends and keeping the ones I have. The most basic reason that I can think of is my phobia of using the phone. I don’t like the alien feeling of talking and waiting for a response. I seem to be cutting into the other’s sentence. People tend to pick up my awkwardness and not call me again.

Making friends face to face is also a hurdle too as I don’t seem to be able to project a genuinely positive front. I think I am plagued with a negative mind set. When I am there, I am not physically ‘there’. My mind drifts off, or I panic on whether or not I am coming off as cool.

I also do not feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel that my personality is a facade, changing accordingly to the company I am with. When I see my friends on facebook having a good time, I feel happy for them but also feel like a misfit as well.

I want to be comfortable with myself. But I don’t know how :(

lately, i’ve been making acquaintances a lot more than i ever would have in the past. you know how i start the new process off? it’s simple and very basic. when i make contact with someone, i give a friendly, sincere smile from the eyes that says i am happy in life and you look interesting. when i have that person’s eye contact and we are obviously acknowledging the other’s presence, i let go of the smile and extend my hand, followed by “hi, i’m so and so.” wait for their response, and then i say “nice to meet you, so and so.” it’s important to acknowledge that you heard and remembered the other person’s name because it makes them feel important. also, if you do repeat their name in your greeting as soon as you meet them, you are less likely to forget their name as time goes on. there is no worse of a connection killer than when someone forgets your name or childishly pretends to forget your name so that they look egotistical and self-important. it’s like, drop the front and get over yourself… after the initial greeting, i usually ask something about that person or a question about our surroundings or the situation we’re in or how they know the people in the room, etc,. i engage in conversation if the other person hasn’t already. i’m not quizzing them or playing a hundred questions one after the other, but i start off with a question and keep the conversation going. or I say something about myself to open up the lines of communication. another thing is to pay the other person a compliment or notice something different about their appearance if they drastically altered it recently, but only if it’s genuinely how you feel; most people can detect insincerity right away. so how’s everyone else doing so far? BEST OF LUCK!!! :)

I think if I am more conversational, I wouldn’t have this problem of making friends. The funny thing is most of the time when I’m around people, my mind just goes blank-that’s not a good thing.

also I have a very monotomous voice too which doesn’t exactly help in terms of being fun, interesting, etc, etc., maybe I should start reading monologs (sp) and work on voice dynamicism (sp)

Apparently,i’m not that great at making friends or keeping the friends i already have.It’s easy to put the blame on others and say that it was their fault that your friendship is over,but i believe that realizing that you made some major mistakes will help you get over it and be more careful next time and be able to recognise the good and the bad people before you befriend them.Some people may seem so nice and fun but deep down all they want is to take advantage of you or simply pass their time with you.
The mistakes i usually make is to believe that others are good people and i give them everything.I also don’t put any boundries to my friends and they do whatever they want.I’m sick of being treated like a doormat just because i’m good and not a bitch and people think i’m stupid and naive because i’m kind and think they can play with me.
This has got to end and i’m working towards achieving it.It’s a good thing that my current friendship has come to an end because it was suffering and it was draining my soul.
Don’t get me wrong,i don’t just end friendships like that,no.I know that every relationship has minor flaws,you know,things your friends do that hurt you or annoy you.I believe that talking is the way to go.But what if i talked over,and over,and over and oevr again to my friend about the things he does that annoy me and he says”ok,i won’t do it again” and after a day or two he starts doing the same thing???And i’m not talking bout minor mistakes like cracking his knuckles!!!Is it right for him to vanish for a week or two without giving me a call or texting me and closing his cellphone and don’t answer his phone?And then he’ll come back as if nothing happened!Do i look like a doormat?Then why should i be ok with the whole thing?Apparently,there’s no chance of saving that friendship.I’m not saying that i do everything perfect,and my friends are welcome to tell me what i do wrong and i shall try to change it because i value our friendship.
It’s better for me that this so called “friendship” ends because i need to make a fresh start and get id of everything that makes me sick.

make friends