stop feeling like a failure

I haven’t been feeling very good about myself at work lately. I’m a little ashamed to say it’s gotten to the point where I’ve been trying to look for another job so I won’t have to deal with it anymore.

It started earlier in the year when I had a couple of really awful nights in the Blood Bank. One of the nights I got myself into such a mess (second guessing myself and redoing my work over and over) that I needed to have someone else from my shift come in and effectly “rescue me”. It was such a low point and I felt like a complete failure. It didn’t help that the girl that helped me likes to gossip and create drama, so this turned into quite a source of embarrassment. Ever since then I’ve been hyper-sensitive whenever I am in there, and I think my confidence has been shattered. I used to be pretty sure of myself in there, but not anymore. Every time I’m in there now I seem to make all these little mistakes – probably because I’m so nervous.

So – I’ve been looking for jobs that don’t include Blood Bank in them. Part of me feels like I need to do this to preserve my sanity, though the other part of me feels like a failure for trying to run away from this.

I wish I could find a way to gain back my confidence in myself and didn’t have to resort to leaving.

I have just finished a course of therapy which I started because I don’t want to feel like this any more. It taught me a lot about myself, mainly that I tend to thing things are my fault when they often aren’t – they are either outside of my control or just the fault of other people, full stop.

I have just finished a course of therapy which I started because I don’t want to feel like this any more. It taught me a lot about myself, mainly that I tend to thing things are my fault when they often aren’t – they are either outside of my control or just the fault of other people, full stop.

on my past relationship with my ex and feel like anything other than a colossal failure. Placing blame on myself or him really does nothing but prolong depression and keep me from moving forward.

This goal remains so important for me to conquer and move on to a greater and more beautiful place in my life.

i am not a failure! I am a success, a huge, fantastic success!

I do too often :(

The main reason that I feel like a failure is regarding my relationship, which currently hangs by a thread.

Now I know that his cheating is not my fault and I should never think that my short comings justify his cheating. Looking past that, I know in my heart that if I had done certain things differently, he (most likely) would never have cheated.

Because of that, I feel a really deep sense of regret and failure for not being able to work out my own issues in our relationship before something terrible happened. Obviously our issues were not just my fault, but for my part I feel I failed him and failed us. And this haunts me.

During this weekend he showed me a journal that he had been keeping since January of times when he became frustrated with me and with us. It was so painful to read his biting words and it made me really feel that I failed in our relationship in so many ways. I wish I had known how he felt. I knew that we were having problems, but I don’t think I understood quite how he felt about it.

I feel like if I had just tried harder. Or been more understanding. Or moved along faster in my healing of our problems. If maybe I hadn’t let out my frustrations but instead proposed calm and rational solutions. I really wish I could go back and change these things.

i have! i think, i havent been thinking about it though! i am doing yoga a lot at the moment and doing stuff i enjoy so i am a lot happier with just everything. im gonna keep this up here though, just to make sure i keep going with this!

if you don’t learn something from your mistakes.