stop feeling like a failure

on my past relationship with my ex and feel like anything other than a colossal failure. Placing blame on myself or him really does nothing but prolong depression and keep me from moving forward.

This goal remains so important for me to conquer and move on to a greater and more beautiful place in my life.

i am not a failure! I am a success, a huge, fantastic success!

I do too often :(

The main reason that I feel like a failure is regarding my relationship, which currently hangs by a thread.

Now I know that his cheating is not my fault and I should never think that my short comings justify his cheating. Looking past that, I know in my heart that if I had done certain things differently, he (most likely) would never have cheated.

Because of that, I feel a really deep sense of regret and failure for not being able to work out my own issues in our relationship before something terrible happened. Obviously our issues were not just my fault, but for my part I feel I failed him and failed us. And this haunts me.

During this weekend he showed me a journal that he had been keeping since January of times when he became frustrated with me and with us. It was so painful to read his biting words and it made me really feel that I failed in our relationship in so many ways. I wish I had known how he felt. I knew that we were having problems, but I don’t think I understood quite how he felt about it.

I feel like if I had just tried harder. Or been more understanding. Or moved along faster in my healing of our problems. If maybe I hadn’t let out my frustrations but instead proposed calm and rational solutions. I really wish I could go back and change these things.

i have! i think, i havent been thinking about it though! i am doing yoga a lot at the moment and doing stuff i enjoy so i am a lot happier with just everything. im gonna keep this up here though, just to make sure i keep going with this!

if you don’t learn something from your mistakes.