let go of the past and forgive wholeheartedly

It’s been over eight (8)years since my ex-husband did the unthinkable-unspeakable-unbelievable…not only have an affair, he molested our daughter and inappropriately “tickled” one of her friends. I have verbally forgiven, but hard to forget.

After loading the kids and my van with a few necessities, the kids and I moved 3000 miles cross country. Lots of counseling for us, but still a tiny bit of me hasn’t completely forgiven/forgot.

Time has a way of healing/helping, but I’m not 100% there yet. As a Christian, I believe I should. I keep praying for the wisdom and strength.

My boyfriend did some unscrupulous and dishonest things in the first 6 months of our realtionship. It was a long hard struggle to stay together, but we’ve made almost 2 years now. I feel very close to him at this point and am on the verge of learning to trust him. However, I have a self sabatoging tendency to bring up my hurt feeling and resentment just when we are beginning to really connect. It’s like I want to make him pay for what he did and how he treated me over and over and over again. I know I haven’t forgiven him…and today I begin my quest to learn how to do it.

this may be my greatest challenge, and quite possibly the most rewarding.

I don’t see how I’ll ever be fully free, untill I release the past.

my heart is heavy….frostbitten

I have hella healing to do.