be present

I spend so much time thinking about the future, about what may or may not be and how to do it right, that sometimes I forget to simply exist here. I need to work on remaining grounded instead of floating off to weeks, months, years in the future.

I don’t want to live my life as a means to an end. I want to work on not resisting the present moment, but accepting it for what is, not judging, just living.

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter.
She picked it up and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelope again.
There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address.
She read the letter:
Dear Ruth:
I`m going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I’d like to stop by for a visit.
Love Always ,
Jesus
Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table.. ‘Why would the Lord want to visit me?
I’m nobody special. I don’t have anything to offer.’
With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets.
Oh my goodness, I really don’t have anything to offer. I’ll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner.’
She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents.
Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least.’
She threw on her coat and hurried out the door.
A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk…leaving Ruth with grand total twelve cents to last her until Monday..
Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm.
‘Hey lady, can you help us,lady?’
Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn’t even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway.
A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags.
‘Look lady, I ain’t got a job, you know, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it’s getting cold and we’re getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady, we’d really appreciate it.’
Ruth looked at them both.
They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to.
‘Sir, I’d like to help you, but I’m a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I’m having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him.’
‘Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway.’
The man put his arm around the woman’s shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley.
As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart.
‘Sir, wait!’
The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them.
‘Look, why don’t you take this food. I’ll figure out something else to serve my guest.’
She handed the man her grocery bag.
‘Thank you lady. Thank you very much!’
‘Yes, thank you!’ It was the man’s wife, and Ruth could see now that she was shivering
‘You know, I’ve got another coat at home.
Here, why don’t you take this one.’
Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman’s shoulders.
Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street…without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest.
‘Thank you lady!
Thank you very much!’
Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front
door, and worried too.
The Lord
was coming to visit and she didn’t have anything to offer Him.
She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox.
‘That’s odd. The mailman doesn’t usually come twice in one day.’
Dear Ruth:
It was so good to see you again.
Thank you for the lovely meal.
And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.
Love Always,
Jesus
The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruth no longer noticed.

is:
stopping the self pity attacks that keep coming back.
there is no reason for self pity, I am responsible for me and can change whatever does not suit me well. no more victim-feelings!
I am happy to be out of the relationship with Rob. and want to get to know other people better that are worth listening.
sometimes when my thoughts wander back to situations I lived through with robs I cannot believe I stood all that nonsense and did not shout out my opinion loud and/ or walked away immediately.
but I have- and still I am a liitle stuck with being angry with myself for having wasted my nervs and time and energy with him and his stupid family.
time to move on completely!

Like so many people I was touched by Tolle’s works. I’ve found that not being present is the root cause of most of my problems.
I’ve noticed that being more in the moment even seems to make colours brighter.

Sometimes it is difficult. At times I really enjoy thinking about future appointments. But they often turn into negative fantasies, where I get my enjoyment from complaining to other people about bad things happening. I need to work on this.

I’m tired of reacting and I keep hearing my parents voices when I speak to my kids. I say things and I don’t know why. I want to think first and be in the moment.

is to be present. Avoid dips into history or the future for that matter. Also the gift you offer others by being present is amazing. The key is to do it! I am working on it. Got off to a bad start while lying in bed – now I am much more decisive and yes, present.

Still just going through the motions for the most part, but I have had more “present moments” than normal lately. Yay!

On the other hand, I drove several places in the past couple days and upon arriving couldn’t remember anything about the drive there at all! I must be zoning out pretty bad.

anyone find e. tolle to be a helpful author on this? any one else i should read?

i want to shed unnecessary yet overwhelming fear, pain and sadness that i face whenever i deal with my dysfunctional marriage.

i am happy to Be.
regardless of my marriage/health/finance status.

my status is—> present.