I had dînner with my dad, his girlfriend/mistress and some of his friends. I was totally present in that I didn’t allow our complicated histories and relationships to enter the present. I was calm, clear headed, able to laugh and be warm.
All the while, I remained strong, still and confident that there s a piece of me that cannot be accessed, precisely because I am present. No one could accuse me of being cold or distant, but I was in my secret garden while still being immersed in the moment. It’s hard to explain.
I know the roles I’m expected to play and I know that playing these well benefits me in many tangible ways.
I’ve come do far in terms of presence, calmness, stepping back from emotions and performing. Its a bit sad, but also beautiful. Bittersweet. 1 week ago
The last few days I have been so caught up thinking about a couple of tedious things I have to do, that I haven’t been present. This is the time to really be intensely in every moment if any, because my time here is limited. 2 weeks ago
My mind was clear today and I managed to focus deeply for the whole afternoon. It was great to be more aware within the moment. 3 months ago
NO to re-living the past…
1) by TALKING about things that made me upset or angry, hence recalling the past into the present
2) by looking at old photos
3) by not taking new ones
4) by clinging to relationships that have fallen apart
5) by being closed to new experiences
NO to living in the future…
1) Letting list-making and visualizing take the place of action
2) Waiting for the perfect conditions to do what I want and be who I want
3) Saying “tomorrow” or “next time” 3 months ago
In my opinion, learning to ‘be present’ is one of the most important things someone should strive to achieve. If achieved, even to a small degree, enables us to learn, achieve and appreciate more in life. Focusing on the small details of everything that we do can add up to doing something great, but not just outer details, more of our attention should be drawn to our insides rather than the material objects around us. 7 months ago
We drove up to Brisbane today (a 4.5 hour round trip) to pick up my 2 older kids from their grandparents. Me, B and our youngest, cruising along at 110km/hr, through a tunnel on the highway, at 11am. This car overtakes us and then 200 metres up the road, veers into the wall of the tunnel and ricochets across the road in a full spin. What is so unbelievable (and I am so grateful for)is that:
- we didn’t hit them (or them us)
- they didn’t roll
- no-one was hurt
- it didn’t happen 200 metres back down the road when he was beside us
- there were no other cars in the near vicinity.
Oh, I could go on. Actually, I have. B and I keep bringing it up all through the day “how lucky are we that…?” and the burning question “what was he doing??”. Guess we’ll never know the answer, but it has made me so aware of how easily everything can change, especially at that speed. Drive safely. How many times have you said it or had it said to you? I don’t always consider exactly what that means – but I should. And I shall.
On the way home, we came across another accident. It happened not long before we passed it, only the ambulance had arrived, they were not so lucky. Three cars, all totally screwed up, people hurt and a mattress in the middle of the highway!
Later in the same day I heard that a friend of mine had been taken to hospital after jumping into the surf to save her boy from a rip that then took her out also. The lifesavers rescued them both!
Point is, love now, live now, take care, appreciate each moment, kiss your loved ones, hold them tight. I’m so grateful to have these “near misses” to remind me instead of tragedy. And so it is, I love you all! xxx 13 months ago
from Louise L. Hay’s audiobook “I Can Do It”
“You can never be free of bitterness as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts. How can you be happy in this moment if you continue to choose to think angry and resentful thoughts? Thoughts of bitterness cannot create joy, no matter how justified you feel you are. No matter what they did. If you insist on holding onto the past then you will never be free. Forgiveness of yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past. When you feel that you are stuck in some situation…it usually means there is some more forgiving to be done. When you do not flow freely with life in the present, it usually means that you are holding onto a past moment – it can be regret, sadness, hurt, fear, or guilt, blame, anger, resentment and sometimes the desire for revenge. Each one of these states comes from a space of unforgiveness – a refusal to let go and to come into the present moment. Only in the present moment can you create your future. If you’re holding onto the past, you cannot be in the present. It is only in this
now moment that your thoughts and words are powerful. So you really don’t want to waste your current thoughts to continue to create your future from the garbage of the past. When you blame another you are giving your own power away because you are placing the responsibility for your feelings on someone else. People in our lives may behave in ways that trigger uncomfortable responses in us. However, they did not get into our minds and create the buttons that have been pushed. Taking responsibility for our own feelings and reactions is mastering our ability to respond. In ohter words, we learn to conciously choose, rather than simply react. Forgiveness is a tricky and confusing concept for many people. There is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their behaviour and the act of forgiveness takes place in your own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person. The reality of true forgiveness lies in setting ourselves free from holding onto the pain. It is simply the act of releasing yourself from the negative energy. Also forgiveness does not mean allowing the painful behaviours or actions of another to continue in your life. Sometimes forgiveness means letting go. You forgive them and release them. Taking a stand and setting healthy boundaries is often the most loving thing you can do. Not only for yourself, but for the other person as well. No matter what your reasons are for having bitter, unforgiving feelings, you can go beyond them. You can get off it, you can let it go. You only live in the now and you can choose to think thoughts that make you feel good, right now. You can choose to practice thinking thoughts that create a positive today and tomorrow. Know that you are creating thinking habits that will serve you well forever.
Positive affirmations for acheiving forgiveness:
- The door to my heart opens inwards. I move through forgiveness to love.
- As I change my thoughts, the world around me changes. The past is over, so it has no power now. The thoughts of this moment create my future.
- It is no fun being a victim. I refuse to be helpless anymore. I claim my own power.
- I give myself the gift of freedom from the past and move with joy into the now.
- There is no problem too big or too small that it cannot be solved with love.
- I am ready to be healed. I am willing to forgive and all is well.
- I know that old, negative patterns no longer limit me. I let them go with ease.
- As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.
- I forgive myself for not being perfect. I am living the very best way I know how.
- It is now safe for me to release all of my childhood traumas and move into love.
- I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs. I release them with love.
- All of the changes in life that lie before me are positive ones and I am safe.
You have a choice: you can choose to stay stuck and bitter or you can do yourself a favour by willingly forgiving the past and letting go, and then move on to create a joyous, fulfilling life. You have the freedom to make your life anything you want it to be, because you have freedom of choice.” 13 months ago
