stop giving up

trying to keep going still.
deadlines are within sight.
tasks are nearly complete.
i can do it. i can do it.

Anything I posted on this goal is bullshit. The reason I give up is because, I had a aunt that really didn’t believe in me, and told me that I’m gonna fail. Living with someone like that for majority of your life, fucks you up royalty. SO I develope this attitude in giving up. Because I sabotage myself in my life, I did , if something was hard, I give up,i was scared of failing, so I dind’t try or I’ll settle. Thats probably the reason I haven’t taken my ass back to the dmv , because i’m scared of failing again. I given up on myself. ANd it piss me off because of all the things I stop doing, or psyche myself out for. was me. At least Im young enough to fix it…
I need to start believing in myself again

Well, was feeling right sorry for myself, it’s a wet, rainy evening here in Montreal… the perfect sorry-for-yourself kindof weather ; ) decided to go somewhere to be around people: did errands—> hauled home an enormous bag of dog food (difficult!!! let me tell you!!!), made it to the bank before it closed, took in my ancient fuse-contraption out of the wall of my ancient apartment and got the hardware guys to figure out what amperage I needed to make the dryer “go” again, fed the dog, walked the dog, walked the dog again, went to a 50’s diner and ate a burger and slice of pecan pie ; ) then, VOILA, stopped at Urban Outfitters and dropped $150 on clearance items. AAAAAAAAAGH there goes the budget, but, I do feel happier ; ) he he

So today I had a history test, and the teacher is a total asshole who doesn’t even teach so. Feeling abosoultely crappy , I was so prepare in not going and get a zero. .........But fuck my boyfriend said that he owuld be disppointed in me , so I got dress adn I went. toook the stupid test and hoping for a D. but the best thing is that I didn’t quit . I need to break that trait even if it kills me

Okay, my english class was too hard, so I made Kevin unenroll me, I know that is me quitting , and I know that I can’t keep quitting , so that is the last time, that I quit, because I swear there was a time that I didn’t give up on myself. I use to be the most determine person ever. I don’t know what happen , but starting now today is going to the first day of me. The person that doesn’t give up in life, cause the best things in life is worth fighting for. kINDA like my happiness

I grew up playing soccer. I got good enough to play in a tournament in england and spain. I quit soccer and now I probably can’t do anything I used to. I played the piano and composed two cds, now I hardly play the piano because I am usually busy. I went to college with the desire to make all A’s and become someone known in the field of computer engineering. Now I am trying to maintain a GPA above 3.0 out of 4.0. It seems that no matter how hard I try or how good I get at something, one downfall causes me to give up completely. This is something that I do not like about myself and I really want to change it.

I put in hardly any effort at all these days. All my ambition, my drive, my determination has slowly withered away into nothingness.

i don’t get fusterated when i don’t get it the first time anymore i just keep trying and trying until i get it or until someone helps me out

depends what is it that i’m talking about

I start something and give up on it. I don’t wanna do that anymore.