raise a son who will be a wonderful husband one day

Please…. powers that be, higher being above, one of many Gods HELP. Give me the patience that I will need to grow with this step /phase in his life.
I know we both are buttheads. major butts.
stubborn, smart asses, independant, difiant, smart, funyseeking attention through our witty jokes/comments.

and he is a boy.

this fall is mddle school. 6th grade. I know there will be more times and actually have been times where my tolerance and patience have been tried. but please. Don’t give me anything I cannot handle.
that’s all. I ask. {for now}

I want so much for my little boy…but I realize that this goal is a trap. Not only do I have no control over what kind of husband my son will be, I also have no control over what kind of lover he will be or what kind of adult he will be. I am a mother who has given birth to an INDIVIDUAL. I belive that it is unfair to think that I can mold him into the “perfect” little man. All I can do is influence him and teach him obedience,manners,cleanliness,academics and morals. And then PRAY that these lessons remain throughout adulthood. What will never change is the LOVE that I have for this human being.

Just have to wait and see about this one.

he is a gentleman, very kind to others, respectful, intelligent, handsome, and will make a great husband and father one day. He is very serious about a young lady he met in high school, and I pray she knows how lucky she is.

Every parent has high hopes for their children. But one very important quality I would like my son to have is RESPECT for woman. He has to learn how to be a provider…granted I am not a man but I really want my son to be responsible for the children he makes and respectful of the woman in his life.

My son Ryan is 18. He and I had been through alot of ups and downright scary situations in life. But through it all he has overcome the odds. I had a verbally abusive husband when he was 3-4 1/2 years old. And one night it turned to physical abuse. I packed what I could carry and left the next morning. We stayed in shelters for 3 months because I refused to involve my mother and family in this mess. Ryan is my life. We had to move around abit to avoid my ex. Ryan never asked when are we going home. He was wise beyond his age. We did finally got out of the shelter. We were blessed that my aunt knew a man who owed a restuarant and was looking for a waitress. And since I didn’t have anyone to watch Ryan when I worked Gus the owner said he would allow me to bring Ryan to work with me. But if things didn’t work out then he would have to let me go. As I worked Ryan sat in the back booth playing with his puzzles and coloring books and often he would fall asleep. The customers loved him. One day a couple that had been coming in and really liked me and Ryan asked if they could take him with them and their grandkids to the zoo. I had to tell them no thank you. I was afraid to let himout of my sight. But overtime they kept asking what about the park and museums. I finally give in but I was a wreck at work that whole day. Ryan came back so filled with joy and he smiled like I hadn’t seen in months. Mr. and Mrs. Burke took care of Ryan after that when I had to work. They loved him as much as he loved them. He feel he learned his sense of respect of the elderly from them. He learned his sense of patience from sitting in the restuarant. His sense of caring, compassion and frendliness is one of his best qualities. Ryan has always been a great son. He makes me very proud to see him with others because that’s when he truly shines. I know in my heart that he will make a great husband someday. And as a father I see the way he reacts to his girlfriend nephew who is a year old now. And ever since Jacob was born Ryan has always loved him like he was his own. He will even say where’s my baby at. Great son and great future husband and father.

my son is in need of meds. well one opinion anyway
the doc, says ADHD ha ha really who isn’t spaztic? anyway I haven’t yet decided to start this med thing just yet, I have another appt in 4 weeks, and then maybe, I need to hear from anyone on this good or bad? should I start this it could be a good thing and then he could be like mom, dependant on this stuff, or then he could be like dad, self medicated with pot???hmmm?

its been 3 weeks since my last entry, and tomorrow we have tro see this doc for my son. I am nervous, he has been SO disrespectful to me and his teachers ok just about everyone lately(1-2weeks) and I don’t know what it is about he doesn’t talk to me he onlu wants to talk to his dad and even dad does seem to get through to him?
I feel like I am at fork in the road, I wan tto be strict and stren to show him that life is shitty at times and we have to buck up and just go with things and do things we don’t aleways want ot do, and yet the mom in me, says to be nice and sweet and encourageing but then he still tries to walk on me, not really just it feels that way, that I am a pushover, where is my middle ground I want him to know that this is business and I fo love him and care and want the world for him but he needs to stop fighting with me and the adults in life.

when I correct him, there is no need for shame. He can say “Ok. Sorry Dad!” in a cheerful voice knowing that I think no less of him for whatever it was I corrected.

he seemed to warm to the idea.

Shame is a child-killer.

to go through these little boy to teen changes, why so early? apparently he had a ‘dream’ about this girl in class, well I guess she’s ugly,? anyway, he told his ‘friend’ and then that friend told someone else, and so on, well anyway, this girl (the ugly girl)found out from her friend, and my son found out she told the ugly girl he saw her at recess, and either tripped her or kicked her….and he got in trouble, of course.

So he got in trouble for kicking her and getting so pissed at her he maade this letter or note up, and sent it to the boys in class, asking them if they would help him, get this girl, well I am thinking get as in hurt. right
well I got a call from the school and had to come pick him up and not have him return until he saw a counsoler. anger issues, ha ha. now if someone I thought was a friend and confided something like that and then that person told, yea I would be mad at that kid, and then girl that told the ugly girl.not just the one girl, anyway, long story I know, but know my son is labeled ‘angry’ and has issues. I told him this
he can’t just hurt people because they hurt your feelings, but you can stick up for yourself, and not let anyone hurt you, by hitting or talking.
I told him yes we need to work on displacing anger and not on people, and I also said to him good for you standing up for yourself.
SAhould I be mad and punish him , yea right, my kid is angery because someone told his private business, and how embarrassing.
anyway I bought him a journal, with a lock on it, and he really likes it, he brings it with him, and writes a lot, I told him that he can right ANYTHING!
and we are going to a therapist again, to discuss issues.