Learn to balance school, home, work, and volunteering like everyone else on the planet.

The pay is so so, and the hours will work out with school. The hiring dude said straight up that there is about 5 hour of downtime where I can do whatever I want. WOO HOO paid to do homework. So I hope he calls me back. I willd o it for the summer for sure and I have high hopes that it will carry me through to the school year. =)

I am diabetic and when my blood sugar sky rockets I konk out. Aside from diet and excercise, both things cost more than eating poorly by the way, my doctor has no other solutions to help. She by the way doesn’t actually think that I am diabetic based on my 3 month tests, but based on my daily meal testing she diagnosed me and gave me pills that are supposed to help….but she never follows up with me even when I bring it up. I never know how that is going to affect my day or even if it is going to happen every day. Sometimes I end up falling asleep for like 2 hours others I am fine. 2 hours and an hour or two of general grogginess is a big fat waste of time.

Then, to top that off I suffer from migraines. My triggers vary and are not dependable. One day a perfume could set me off the next I won’t even notice it. And that’s just the trigger that’s out of my control. Food, drinks, dies, aspartame, kink in my neck, stress, too much reading everything sets me off and I have no control over that crap either. Then to top it off nothing works short of serious consideration to drilling a hole in my temple. I have a regimine but it takes like all day. Ice packs, gingerale, water, specific soup, migraine meds, sleep, dark, scentless, fresh air, cold room, rinse and repeat as necessary.

Those two together seriously impede my success at accomplishing any school work at all. Then add in the mix of having to go to work for a few hours….Suddenly between one diabetic coma afternoon, a migraine, a day full of classes, and two shifts at work my whole damn week is gone and I am yet another week behind in homework…but wait, and assignment is due, so I pull a very late or all nighter, get up early and hand it in, thus getting a migraine from sleep deprivation and oops, there goes another day….

I am so fucked. Add that shit to my money problems and my general desire to consciously sabatoge myself and I’llbe lucky to hand anything in this semester.

I hate that I have these two health problems, one I may be able to control but it’s not within my financial means to eat better. Let’s face it a box of KD costs WAY less than a well balanced meal, and I can make a 89cent box of KD stretch to two meals.

My migraines I can live with, I always have but when times are like this they get worse. And I get so angry and frustrated and sick at having to deal with everything at once…

It’s not fair….sometimes I wonder if I was a really bad person in a past life to get the joys of struggling through this one…Or maybe I was a really good person and this is my last test to get into heaven,no more rebirth after this, this is the last journey and then this old soul is free….Although I don’t know if I believe in heaven.

Bleh..I should be writing a paper or something, not letting it out on here…but I have to say something.

So, how do I balance all this crap, plus my crappy health and get better grades? How the fuck do healthy people manage this?