be courageous as often as possible

I am going to say that going to Rwanda and doing community development work this past summer counts as courageous. Now, if you were with me, you know that every bit of it was juiced by joy, so it hardly counts as brave. But if you weren’t there, go ahead and think I was brave. Just for fun.

I did eat goat. That was brave.

I decided that holding this in was putting a damper on me and everyone around me. So I let it spill. It wasn’t the time or place but it worked. Then I jumped in the pool and swam 1/4 mile. It felt pretty good. I didn’t start feeling better about my courageous truth-speaking until after my run at lunchtime but the fact of it is I feel better, and courageous. Which is good.

I gave blood at my work’s blood drive.

And I told the W/D guy that she was my girlfriend.

and the day before. I introduced her properly 2 times and it felt good/better each time. I don’t know if they understood what I was saying but really it doesn’t matter it is the fact that I just did it. I almost wanted to post an intimate photo on fb…that would be a really courageous move. I hope I can do it one day.

I was reading last night about risks in Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. Julia asks “What would we do if we didn’t have to do it perfectly?”

I found that to be a great question.

Here is a list of things I would do if I didn’t feel I had to do them perfectly. Here is a list of things I want to be courageous and do soon:

1.) salsa dance
2.) open mike night on Monday @ the hideout (I’m going solo on Mon, March 9)
3.) play guitar
4.) sing more karaoke songs, not just the ones I’m comfortable with
5.) write sci fi
6.) throw my own pottery on the wheel
7.) paint in acrylic
8.) make freaking lasagna that doesn’t taste like my mom’s
9.) make fruit tart
10.) lift more weights
11.) core class
12.) shake down my wardrobe
13.) find a piano and play it even with people around
14.) sing in a stairwell
15.) sing in front of my friends
16.) dance all emo and punky like I did in college
17.) freaking dance more
18.) sculpt
19.) mosaic
20.) make my own organic garden this spring and compost

Julia says “Once we are willing to accept that anything worth doing might even be worth doing badly our options widen”

I’m widening.

Careful, here comes a WIDE LOAD!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m big.

juat picked up the courage to ring my ahole manager at work and tell him that I couldn’t work new years eve/day because I had A level exams – felt great!!!

Courage is not the absence of fear, but moving forward despite fear or doubt~Rollo May.

I belive that as I am more courageous it releases me to be more motivated and to achieve my goals. I have learned to be courageous from being afraid myself.

I know that when I am anxious about doing something I know I need to do than I need to call on courage and act.

I wish I would do this all of the time. A lot of times I hold back and I let this doubtful voice inside my head take over. It happens most often when I am wanting to be creative and express my ideas. I second guess my creativity and the ideas deep in my heart. The only thing I feel I am courageous about is my athletic goals and my relationship goals. I need to work on being courageous in my creative goals and my job goals.

I have an appointment on Tuesday afternoon I am VERY nervous about. It’s going to take a lot to be able to not cancel it and take a nap that afternoon. I know it’s for the betterment of my life’s happiness. I don’t want to de anxious and depressed forever. It has to end.

I have great fears of riding shotgun or in the back seat (basically not driving anywhere/everywhere) is terrifying to me. Sadly, it is exponentially worsened when family members are involved in either the destination or passenger list.

I don’t know what to do to get over this phobia.
I know facing it would make it better. I’m just too fearful.
Anyone have advice?? Where’s Don Quixote when you need him?