To be honest, I don’t really know why I want to be a woman. It seems like one of the most common questions people ask me who seem to think that I always know the answer. But I haven’t a clue why. It does seem like something that’s just “all in my head” that all I need to do is just try harder to accept who I am already.

When I first noticed hair growing on my upper lip I plucked them relentlessly with my finger nails before later using tweezers. Eventually I ended up using an epilator. But plucking made me feel so much better that it was worth all the pain. I just hated it so much.

Shame, too, has been a defining feature in my life since my early high school days. Since the age of 14 I’ve never been in the water swimming. I know I shouldn’t be so superficial but I absolutely hated the way my body was changing.

However, despite this I still have a few doubts at the back of my mind. Becoming a woman would be a HUGE change and to be honest scares the hell out of me. The stress of it is driving me crazy. It would completely change all my relationships not only with friends and family but with strangers too. I think is is going to be the hardest thing I ever do in life. 19 months ago