respect my body

Things with my wrist have been going better since I lowered my computer chair. I hadn’t realised that my wrist was at a bad angle. Adjusting my chair hasn’t fixed it completely, but has gone a fair way into helping.

I saw the osteopath today. The adjustments went well, though I have been quite sore since. I was given a couple of stretches to do. I’m bad with doing stretches. If I want to keep the pain away I need to bite the bullet and do them. I was also advised to get up from the computer after every 15 minutes. It makes things awkward, but again if I need to do it I need to do it.

Since making the last entry, I have suffered a lot of problems with my neck and wrist. This is probably to do with the fact I write a lot and use a computer a lot. I took it nice and slow last week, but still had trouble taking it as slow as I needed to. I am recovering, but it seems like this is going to be a long term problem.

So I have taken action and booked myself in for an appointment with the osteopath. It’s a bit more expensive than I would have liked in my current situation, but it is something I really need to do.

I notice that a lot of the entries I’ve made under this goal have been focused on illness and injury. Today I wanted to leave a little note about how well things have been going. I’ve been getting out and doing more walking recently. I’ve been eating more fruit. These things have been helping. I’ve managed to avoid the worst of the flu in a season where most other people have been hit hard. The frequency of my sore throats has decreased considerably. I was healthy enough to make a blood donation last month… where they suggested I could cut back my iron supplements, since my iron count was so awesome.

There’s still a way to go yet. I still get stressed out a fair bit and there are still improvements I could make to my diet and my exercise routine. However, it is nice to be able to sit back and be grateful for what I have accomplished so far.

I’ve been away housesitting for the last few days, but I have had to cry uncle and come home. The bed was like concrete and the chairs were uncomfortable. I found my body becoming ever more tense until I struggled to get any sleep because of the pain. It was clear that in order to respect my body I would have to come home.

I was a bit resistant to the idea at first, until the voice of reason kicked in and told me I was being stupid. My sweetheart is still there taking care of the place. I need to take care of me.

I don’t want to see the bruises and scratches I cause myself when frustrated. I don’t want to pull out my hair until I have a missing patch. I want to respect and love myself…I no longer cut myself and because of that I know that I have the will power to stop self-injuring all together. Even if it is a daily battle.

I’m afraid the sore throats didn’t stay away for very long… although longer than they have before. I still need to look into ways of reducing my stress levels.

Along those lines, I had some very nasty headaches over the last week. Stress related, I suspect. Nevertheless, I have booked myself in for a massage tomorrow morning. It’s a bit expensive, but I feel like it’s something I really need right now.

I visited the doctor yesterday. It’s only the second time that I’ve seen him, but I remain convinced that he’s the doctor for me; he’s friendly and cheerful.

He also told me that I’m relatively healthy. I’m not allergic to anything. My hormone, cholesterol, and iron levels are all fine. My thyroid is functioning as it should. So why am I ill so often?

The answer seems to be stress. The doctor advised I take some extra zinc to boost my immune system, but there seems to be nothing further he can do at this stage. A friend who suffers from chronic illness was more helpful. On hearing I was having stress-related sore throats all the time, she asked if I suffered from a lot of neck tension and whether I clench/grind my teeth. The answer to this was a big YES!

According to her explanation (and it seems to make sense to me) is that all the tension in my neck is affecting the muscles in my jaw (which I knew) and my throat (which I didn’t). Her advice was to use a heat pack on the back of my neck before I go to bed to help relax the muscles. She also showed me a pressure point in my jaw that should help ease the muscles there. As soon as I pressed it I could feel how very tender it was.

I know it’s really early days yet, but I didn’t have a sore throat when I woke up this morning. It seems like the best way I can respect my body is to work on becoming less stressed.

I called up the surgery today. The results of my blood test are in and apparently aren’t anything to be concerned about. I’m a bit puzzled by this; I guess it means that they don’t hold the answer as to why I get sore throats so often. I’ve made an appointment to go back and discuss things with the doctor.

I finally had my blood test today. Things have been so busy tht it took me a while to schedule it. You’d really think I’d make this more of a priority. In the end, it was the prospect of being able to donate blood again that got me motivated.

The test itself was quick and relatively painless. Now it’s just a matter of waiting for results.

I have the most resepect for my body at this point than I have in my entire life and it feels so good to have morals and to stick with them.
I never thought that I would be the type of person to actually go through with this and enjoy it. It’s still really strange to be at that point where I can “look back” and see how I was, and how I didn’t respect myself at all.

I love being a woman (it’s still really weird saying that, but I am 23 now so I guess I should get used to it) and I think I am finally getting to the point where I think I want to start dating.
It still freaks me out, but I’m a little more comfortable even thinking about it than I ever was.

I’m so happy where I am right now when it comes to this goal.