get nice photos taken of myself

i have been wanting to for ages but lacking money, then i got a random offer from a friend of mine who wanted practice/something sexy! it was so fun, hot, sensual – just what i needed. a really amazing night….

i have to forget about it for a while so that the photos will surprise me when they arrive in my inbox…

it was a bonding/trust thing between him and i, as well. we have a very non-emotional (sex-based) relationship and it was nice to have my walls down (him too?) if even for a night. it was good practice for me to have my wall down in general, but the fact that it was down with him does not ‘mean’ anything because we still don’t hae a ‘relationship’ in any way. i feel closer to him but that is bad!

i have to detach from that emotional boost he gave me – or at least keep it for myself and not think of ‘him’ that way. it was one fun night, he gave me this one gift, but otherwise he is still the same old dog! hahah.

yeah it’s not about him it’s about me having something nice to look back on later in life (and maybe share a little with people :)

I changed this from ‘nude’ photos because I’ve decided the point is not to be ‘nude’, but just to have some nice shots of myself that I can keep forever, that really express what I want to show about myself.

For instance I have this crazy colorful dress that I don’t know if I’ll wear alot in real life, but I feel kinda sexy in it. Also I’m really into the yoga and was thinking of having some yoga-pose shots.

All in all I want shots that represent me as fun, strong, AND sexy, whether this is pinup/nude or not, it doesn’t matter.

I have a clearer vision of what I want from this now. I’m going to have cute outfits and stolen poses for some cheesy/kitchy pinup shots, as well as some more natural/tasteful nude ones. I’m getting my friend who is an amazing photographer take some of me for my b.day this year. I just need to get a few outfits ready in the meantime. So excited!

I wanted to do this for my b.day a few years ago, and I think it’s really time. I think I’m going to be ready to do this, for myself, to look back on later.

I’m doing it because I look at photos of myself taken when I was 16, and I was beautiful, but had no idea. At the time I did not think that at all. I was pretty insecure and did not appreciate what I had. As most of us do, I battle this daily, but I’m working on acceptance, even as I find wrinkles, hairs, cellulite in new places. As I learn to accept myself I have a greater acceptance for everyone around me, and just just physically. I mean really accepting.

I recently bought my favorite calendar ever…full of really great pinup illustrations, and I’m going to do a shoot with a few cute/showy shots, as well as some more natural shots. I’m using the calendar for pose/outfit ideas.

I want these shots done because it’s about fun and celebrating as much as anything! And because I not only want to MAKE art but I also want to BE art.

well, i was going to get my friend to take these photos anyways, and now there is this little informal show with the theme of boudoir…a perfect opportunity.