Be decisive

giving myself credit where credit is due.

i can think pretty on my feet. i might talk in circles sometimes but i know some big words and can use them well. that’s being decisive.

i know what i like and don’t like. thererfore, i can make practically-split-second decisions about what i want, what i think and how i feel.

and half this sh-t is about believing you ARE and CAN DO certain things. i think (i am decisive) thereore i am (decisive)

after much nervous foot-shuffling, i managed to be the first on the dance floor at my senior prom this past saturday.

i dont remember what made me do it. i kept telling people i would, should, or that they should come out with me. but the moment before i did it is completely blank. what i remember next is me and my date alone on the floor with everyone watching us act a fool.

still working on the split-second thing. much progress made, however. i realize now it doesnt really matter… good ending or bad ending it’ll make a good story.

but also others when I can’t make up my mind fast enough.

and really, what difference does it make if I have chocolate or vanilla ice cream! ;)

lingering over me!

i have to figure out if i’m going on spring break or not.
i’ve got to stop hanging in limbo with this boy i don’t like. and i have especially got to stop telling him i love him.

two biggest issues of indecisiveness in my life right now. the first can be handled pretty painlessly. the second involves my inability to let people down which i may never, ever conquer (unless i grow a pair for posterity and just NIP IT IN THE BUD! like a big girl.)

will work on it next week. will will will.

i found myself caught up in some bullshit
and rather than revel in the wishy-washy stories i was fed by others,
i went to the source.

it was really hard to do. i cried a lot, to be honest.
but i feel like i can move forward confidently having addressed the issue directly
instead of waiting in the murk for things to “just work out” like i usually do.

now everything is concrete and out in the open. i like that, even if the situation still sucks.

i’m proud of myself, but this is just the beginning.
i don’t want it to be so difficult to act swiftly and appropriately—because that’s not truly being decisive. what if i didn’t have time to think over my course of action? what about those times when i’m just thrown into things?

i’m proud of my ability to step back, asess the situation and act accordingly—- but it needs to happen much, much faster.

into so much trouble with all the waffling i do.

my mom is and has always been a doormat and she’s miserable. i love her but i cant be like that when i’m older. i need to stop being such a wuss for once and for all.

It seems like I live my life not making any decisions. I expect my mind to be made for me when the time comes. My friend asks me if I want to go to a concert with him at 8, I don’t know my answer until 7:45 when I’m either out the door or still in my sweatpants. Where do I want to live next year? Ummm..? It’s like my mind is a blank. I honestly don’t know. And not that I don’t think about it, I just cannot come to a fruitful conclusion for the life of me. It’s almost a numbness. It’s weird to have almost no opinion on what happens in your life. Even though, I feel like I know what I want not to happen, its just the active part of it in that I don’t know what I do want to happen. Why not? I don’t think I’m depressed, but why can’t a place myself in any situation that isn’t already happening to me?

Often times I suddenly realize that I’m surrounded by indecisiveness and just snap and make a decision. Sometimes I realize that I’m being ridiculously indecisive and make the decision myself. And sometimes the simplest things seem like the end of the world.

I’m better about this, but think I need to be a bit more aware and thoughtful about the goal.

i always feel so unsure of my decisions.

given that we only have one life to live we have nothing to compare it to as we travel through our lives making decisions. if it was right or wrong doesn’t really matter, it just mattered that it was made at all.

as an indecisive person i feel like others chose my life direction for me instead of myself. i feel by stepping up my decisive nature i’ll be able to have better reign on the direction of my life. (and of determining my happiness)

I’d like to be able to make a decision, without agonizing over it for hours. Sometimes, I even take forever picking something in the grocery store…enough! I want to make a decisions without regrets.