Get over my father's death

I have had the hardest year of my really hard life. On June 20, 2008 my biological father killed himself, then not even a year later, on June 5, 2009, my dad (technically step-dad) died of cancer. When my bio father died I was very angry and couldn’t understand how he could be so selfish. The reason he killed himself was because my step-mom was going to divorce him. He was a jerk and a horrible father, but he is still half the reason I have to live, so I guess I am slightly thankful for that. My dad on the other hand was the greatest person I have ever met, and I cannot get past the fact that he isn’t here anymore, I can’t call him, or hug him, or tell him I love him. He was my favorite person and we were best friends. When my mom wanted him sent to hospice I fought for him to come home because that’s what he wanted, so I got it for him. When he needed someone to be with him 24/7 and make sure he took all his meds, I did that for him. When couldn’t speak or think anymore, I told him it was okay and that he could go, we would be okay, he did that for me. And when he died in my living room I turned off his breathing machine, held his hand and told him I loved him, and called the nurse and funeral home. And at his funeral I gave his eulogy. I was there for him just like he was there for me since I was one and a half. And I miss him soooooooooooo much, I don’t know what to do anymore but I can’t stop crying.

I love you dad, and I miss you so much, I hope I can see you again some day.

my father died sept 10th 2008. the story of his death is long and painful and confusing. its hard to tell whether it would have been better if he had just died of a heart attack in the middle of the night. any thoughts? is it harder to watch someone you love slowly decay or to lose them unexpectedly? i think they are equally terrible

My Birthday is on the 16th of the month, my daddy died on the 26th of the same month. I was 30 years old at the time. I had been married for 9 years and we were going to have a child. Daddy was so excited about the baby. “Said I can’t wait to see that baby” You see I am an only child and a daddy’s boy and proud of it. Everyone I know has trouble with their bros and sisters. My wife and her sister never speaks, mad at each other, have been for years, so at least I don’t have that problem. Dad and I always worked with each other, we farmed and were always together, my daddy was my best friend. Anyway I had just started a new job making good money with very little work. I had worked my ass off for years with low pay,
and was finally getting a break. Dad was so proud and happy for me and my family. We all lived together and this meant I could afford to build us a house now up on the farm where I had always wanted to live. I started this new job on the 14th and my birthday was the 16th, thought what a birthday present. I had been working for almost two weeks. So we all decided to meet at my work, Dad Mom and my Wife, I showed them around and then we went out to eat they went back home, Dad drove home feeling fine. Then in about 3 hrs my Mom , my Wife come back to my place of work and tell me my Daddy is dead. He went out to feed the cattle and dogs and fell over dead with a heart attack at 60. Well I just wanted to take out walking and never look or come back and if I had not had a child on the way that is just what I would have done. As you can see it has been almost 20 years and I am not over it and never will be. I thought the lord would send me a son but he never. I thought my Wife would be more understanding but she isn’t. I thought my Mom would be blessed not to have Alzheimer s, but she has it, very difficult. The one thing about this is I have had the worst hurt of my life nothing can ever happen to me that will hurt me worse than this. I keep looking for something to help me heal but can’t find it. I went to strip clubs a lot that helped me get rid of a lot of money is all. I just ended an affair, that only caused me to break two w omen’s hearts. I tried praying a lot, to no avail. I would kill myself but my faith tells me I would go to hell and if I know one thing Daddy is not there. Besides too many people rely on me to do that.Yes if there is a chance I would love to see him again one day but I just don’t know? They talk about grief councilors, what in the hell can they do ,bring him back, I don’t think so and that is all that can help. I cry for my Daddy every day and it still hurts like it did the day they first told me. I wish I were dead or had never been born and I will until the day I die. I don’t get close to people now I think that is my problem he and I were too close. I know there are people out there who have had worse things to happen to their loved ones, 911 for instance. But it is only as bad as it is to you and this is and will always be my worst and I have to live with it every day until I die, I only exist!

My dad died September 6, 2008 on my parents 21st wedding anniversary. It is hard to cope because we are in a lawsuit with the ER he went to and so the 3 days leading up to his sudden death are constantly discussed and questioned by lawyers. I am 17, a senior in high school, my sister is already in college so I am left alone to take care of my grieving mother who has lost her soul mate and I can’t fill the shoes my dad left. He got an infection and they caught it too late, it was MRSA. Today is my mom’s 50th birthday, my parents were planning on taking their first vacation without my sister and I. My mom resents me and tries to control me. I want to get over my grieving but I live with someone who holds me responsible for her well being and she loves me so much but pushes me away unintentionally. I am exactly like my dad, who was an amazing man. 400 people came to his funeral, he was the CEO of his company and the guitarist in a “dad” band. I am so lonely without him, and I have so much displaced anger that I don’t know what to do with. I feel angry with him because he left us. On thursday, my first day of senior year, he was put on a respirator and put to sleep so that his body could relax and only focus on getting better. Friday he was stable. Saturday at 5 A.M. the ICU tells us he has coded. His levels all drop, they max out medication to keep his heart rate going. They have him stable for a few hours and by 10 30 or 11 they tell us there is just nothing they can do for him. We go into the room, he is so pale, his eyes yellow from kidney failure. We hug him and kiss him and whisper that we love him, ask him to please hold on, but it doesn’t make a difference, the lines on the monitor go straight and his heart beat reads 0. Now I am failing school, I have a horrible eating disorder (which I have had for 8 years but have been getting worse the last 6 months), my relationship with my mom is ruined, and I have slept with many guys to fill the loneliness my dad created. But there is so much more that could have gone wrong in the last few months. I am still living. My sister and mom are still living. Things can only get better from here.

I am 16 years old and my father passed away about 3 weeks ago just two days after his 46th birthday(valentine’s day :/). My dad worked in a high stress job at an oil refinery. His job was very chaotic, he worked 12 hour shifts. One day he would work from 5am-5pm and three days later it would be 5pm-5am so his sleeping pattern was completely screwed up. He was management and controlled the operations unit and although my dad made good money, it was very stressful. People’s lives depended on my dad and if he screwed up, 25 years of work would mean nothing, they would drop him in an instant.

Recently, my father’s job was undergoing some major changes. There was supposed to be a strike and my dad had been preparing for months. If there was a strike, he would have to make up the slack of the people who left. The problem was, they wouldn’t know if there was going to be strike until the contracts were signed, so the refinery prepared for the worse. All he did was go to work, come home, eat and sleep.

Anyways, my sister (12) and I had been calling him all day at his job to wish him a happy birthday, but no one answered. He called later on that night and we only talked for a few moments. Apparently it had been really busy day, but he did have good news…
there wasn’t going to be a strike. He could finally rest in about a week. We arranged to see my father two days later after the refinery could quiet down, but that would never happen…

The next day I was at a friends house and he called to ask if my mom would drop us off at his house because he was just too tired.
My mom agreed and she picked us up the next morning. I had procrastinated, so I made my dad a card in the car, and my sister brought the cake we made for him. We called his house but there was no answer. I looked in the garage to see if his car was there and it was. We waited there for 15 minutes with still no answer so we left. We were thinking he overslept.

I was upset that he didn’t answer, I hadn’t seen him in so long because of the overtime at his work and I just wanted to talk to him. I distracted myself by reading and doing homework. By the time I was finished, it was 6pm and he still hadn’t called which was very unusal for him.

I called him and apologized for the frustrated voicemail. I didn’t want him to think I was mad at him and I started pleading for him to call back. I called his work, he should have been there by now. I prayed for him to answer but he didn’t. The guy that answered said that he hadn’t seen my dad but they were expecting him. That’s when my heart dropped, my dad hasn’t missed a day of work in three years! There was something wrong.

Hysterically, I told my mother i was worried and she told me to calm down. If he didn’t call in 30 minutes, we would drive down to his house. That was longest 30 minutes of my life.

We drove down to his house and before I called again, I looked in the garage to see if his car was there. I prayed that it wasn’t. If the car wasn’t there, he was probably on his way to work. The car was there and that’s when I knew.

I had the keys and couldn’t even open the apartment door, my heart was in my ears. My sister started laughing and said that I was overreacting so she took the keys and opened the door. I knew before, but my sister’s scream confirmed it.

He passed in his sleep, all the stress finally got to him. My dad loved me and my sister so much and worked hard to provide a comfortable life for us. He was my inspiration in everything. At the time, I was excelling in school and made the varsity volleyball team in just two years of playing. I wanted to quit but he encouraged me to stay strong, it was all because of him.

Although the tears have slowed, I still don’t feel any better and I probably never will. All you can do is remember the beautiful moments you spent together and cherish every moment you have now. Although these are terrible circumstances, his death really has brought me closer to my mother and sister. Appreciate all the time you have with your loved ones now because tommorrow is not promised.

My father died February 25th, 2008 I was 26 and he was 61. I’m going on a year next month and I can’t say it’s any better today than it was the day I held his hand in the hospital and told him I loved him as he passed on. The worse part was the 50 conversations I had with him during those 2 days in the hospital that where all one way – he was unable to respond. The doctors had to keep him under for the pain. My father never took good care of himself and after working long hours he had stopped eating for a few days, which sent his bladder and other organs into destress and out of wack. He was taken to the emergency room by his brother with severe abdominal pains and was barely able to move. I knew he was in trouble the second I heard my mother start to talk on the phone. They got a divorce in 1998 or about. She was still very close to my fathers family and found out about my father a few hours after he was admitted. By the time I got to the hospital he was already out of it and unresponsive due to the medications. At that point it become a downhill waiting game. My father and I spent a lot of time together during my childhood and where very close even through out most of my adulthood but over time we did not see each other very often and over the last few years of his life we had only talked once or twice. I had 2 sons since the last time I had seen him which he never even got to meet. As we sat in the hospital room I wispered to him about my life and his grandkids and how much they wanted to spend time with him and I know some how he heard me. When he passed away on that bed I felt helpless like I could have spent more time with him or could have seen him that weekend and we could have gotten a meal together. The “what if’s” and “I could have’s” have flooded my head over the last year and the mental pictures of that room and my father and the last time I got to see him at the funeral home. Those memories hurt so bad but the happy memories are there too.

I do believe that “if God brings you to it, He’ll get you through it”. Over the last year I have found myself and my faith again, I have become closer with my Wife and spent more time with my children. I have mended broken bridges and built relationships with family I had not seen in years.

Though my father is gone his memory, life, and laughter will live on in me and his grandchildren. I will just have to hope I can let the sad memories go one day.

I’ve lost my father in the spring, on May 12, 2000. I was 10 years old. He was 38. My dad had cancer for two years, but I never even thought of my dad dying. That could never ever happen. I was a daddy’s girl all along. I loved him with all my heart. I looked like him, I acted like him. I miss him still. I still remember, how one day, he was lying in a bed, his arm numb, and he held me and said: “Promise me, that you will be good. Promise me.” And I promised. Sometimes when I drink or smoke pot I think of him and feel guilt, but I’m not doing it often. I have a feeling he’s always here with me. Sometimes I can feel him more and sometimes less. My father was a beautiful man, inside and outside. Photos seem so dead. Only memories last.
It’s been 8.5 years now. One would presume I got over it. But I didn’t and I probably never will. You never get over the death of your parent. Yes you stop crying everyday, but at least once a year (or more) you cry your heart out. Things are more difficult for you, you must fight the world without the help of one person, who would stand by you unconditionally. And you see your schoolmates, who fight with their fathers or talk badly of them and you feel pity for them, because they don’t know what they have and they will regret it once.

I miss you daddy. I know we will meet again, but now, you can watch me from the above. See you!

On the 28th of oct 2008 I lost my father to prostate cancer, at the age of 58! Since then my life has shattered forever. I am just 17 turning 18 this year. Sadly the cancer was discovered too late, and was mistaken to be another cancer, leading to wrong theraphy and the distruction of my life. My father was a God, he gave me everything that I ever asked for I was his only son and he never made me feel the loss of anything and made sure I was never sad, Now the only thing I am is sad. I am an hindu-Indian , my father passed away on what is our hindu christmas. Leaving behind me & my mom, shattered from what was a tightnitt joyous tiny family. Since then my mom has also been ruined, in our hindu-soc. being widowed is a curse, and states that my mom has to wear white, or light colours for the rest of her life, she may not beautify herself she may not remarry, no make-up ect nothing. I mean I keep on thinking why do I/we deserve this, a sad sad ruined young lad :’(

I lost my dad three years ago when I was 13 years old and I still can’t stop crying. I’ll be fine one day and be a really happy person and hang out with my friends and then the next day, I’ll be a complete wreck, incapable of getting out of bed and I can’t stop crying.
Like last night, nothing reminded me of him at all, I just all of a sudden started crying and I couldn’t stop. All I could think about is that I could never just call him up and talk to him whenever I wanted. It completely tore my heart apart and I couldn’t make it stop hurting.
I’ve been to therapy, I’ve taken medication for depression and everything. It’s just that I can’t seem to get over the death of my dad. It seems impossible at this point.

i am 16 years old and i lost my dad august 25th 2005 jus 4 days before my younger brothers birthday. my dad was always the closest person in my family and beng only 12 years old when i lost him was very difficult. the most difficult thing is i said see you tomorrow and i never did. he always knew i loved him and i love him. i hopefully have made him very proud of me. i dont think you wil ever get over a parents death, especially being so close, my mum couldnt grieve either as of her new husband did not understand, i have many things which remind me and songs which were at the funeral, i chose them, we were best friends. i love you dad xx