find some real friends

i moved to sydney, australia from brisbane ten years ago. i had a good friend in sydney who moved to new york about three years ago. i had made a great friend who moved back to his home town after a year. my only other friend who i’d met through work left for brisbane 6 months ago. i feel so lonely. i have a loving husband whom i met in sydney, but i still feel terribly lonely and in need of laughs that don’t come from my husband. i like being alone, but i want to share my life with people i care about too. i get so down at times and i don’t have anyone to boost me on, like i’d like to inspire and boost on my friends…and be silly too! i can only hope that one day i’ll find some friends again.

I have people that I consider to be my friends, but there actually just my classmates.

And I don’t even think that my friends even realise, how alone I feel when I’m with them, I really feel like an outsider.
Sometimes I’m rather be all by myself then with them.
And it’s not like they’re mean or anything, they’re in fact really nice, I just keep getting this feeling like I don’t belong. Sometimes they don’t even notice that I’m gone, and i keep wondering. Is it me, or them?
There really nice and all, but I don’t think I have ever found someone that really understands my, that wants to do the same things I wanna do.

Question remains: where do I find them?

I find that I have lost all my friends from growing up, we’ve all gone our seperate ways, but they have new friends and I do not. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of friends, but they are more just coworkers and people I see, not real friends that spend time with me.

I have a best friend, but she moved to another state, so I never see her. And I have friends that I just never see anymore. I am just going to put it in my best efforts to be a friendly, and then maybe I get some friends?

I’m not. I have a boyfriend that I regard as my best friend, my mum is my other best friend and I can hang out with the friends of my boyfriend – thing is, I had to leave all my own friends behind when I moved to France and I haven’t actually been able to meet some new friends of my own yet here. I’m too shy to just talk to someone, especially as my French isn’t fluent enough (ha, another goal), but I really miss my friends and just having someone else to talk to.

I’m not a very good friend though. I’ve basically lost contact with my old friends and I also think that the whole idea of friends just stinks, I haven’t had good luck with them you see. Still, I’ll try.