ask forgiveness from people i've hurt

William Shatner

She was underwater
In the shadows
Was it there, was it not?
I stepped back
A veil in front of my eyes
The water was still and so was she
I dove in with so little breath
In truth I knew
I was too late for death
I had one chance
I grasped her arm and floated upwards
Wanting to stay below in the warm forgiving waters
What have you done
I screamed to the stars
Then over to the shallow edge
She was face down
Smaller and more vulnerable than in life
Her curls wet around her ears and neck
Her dear profile at peace at last
A finger in her throat sounded a click
Her body still and blue
Is this what death looks like?
My love was supposed to protect her
It didn’t
My love was supposed to heal her
It didn’t
You had said don’t leave me
And I begged you not to leave me
We did.

It’s been a long time… I remember vivdly the night that I drove to your dorm at midnight to leave a cigarrette on your window sill. Funny, I’ve never been able to recall how it all ended. They were simpler times; happier, yet darker times. You are one of those memories that brings an ‘ugh’ feeling and the facial expresion that accompanies it. I thought the world of you. It doesn’t make a difference now. If I was granted the chance to undo something in my life, this would be one of those things. Loving, kind, full of character and emotion, smart, strong and subtle… gone. I should have known better, but I didn’t. Today, I found for the first time a note that you once wrote 8 years ago, it had a drawing of a boy and a girl, it said ‘Te Adoro’. I am so sorry. You were a companion like no other, a soul so magnificent… from my own darkness, I refused to see its light . Know that your memory inspires me and I will always consider our time a gift. Good luck on your journey.