Make 2009 my best year ever

88 days of 2009 left.
Life has a funny way of taking turns that one cannot expect.

I have continued to be committed to making 2009 My Best Year Ever, but the road has taken some very interesting turns…

Since my update in June, my daughter and her cat have left home to live with her boyfriend and whilst that was Very scary and TOUGH at the beginning, but we have both survived and my relationship with her has improved immeasurably.
And my 23 year old son’s 3 year relationship with his girlfriend has ended and he’s returned home to live. I’ve gained a kitten and a grieving, confused but lovable son and heaps of STUFF!
My career has taken a turn, due to the recession and politics and, whilst I’ve lost $6000 in salary, I’ve actually saved quite a lot and my job (which was reclassified) is less demanding and stressful. I am now freer to do a better job and am able to leave work 1 and a 1/2 hours earlier.
I’ve spent some time on the Gold Coast with 3 of my girlfriends and my life circumstances have given me greater insight into myself and who I am and what I will and will not settle for…
In addition, I’ve gained clarity about who my real friends are, and the life I really want to live.
At 52, I’m reinventing myself and the future is looking good.

I’ve lost conscious sight of this goal for the last 2 months. I’ve been flat out at work (which is demanding but something I love); VERY challenged by my teenaged daughter; stressed and tired. So, Making this my Best Year has not been my Focus…. Surviving has. And my Self Care.
This is the 1st day of Winter and I’ve got 7 months of 2009 left. So, it is time to get back on track.
So, in the past 5 months, my life has been different to previous years in the following ways:
1/ More focused on my Self Care… I’m taking steps to deal with my stress levels (Massage every 2 weeks; eating more good quality home made meals; making better food choices when out; increasing my fruit and vege intake; trying to get at least 7 hours sleep a night.
2/ I’m setting boundaries at work, at home and with friends.
I’m starting to speak my mind in an assertive way and standing up for myself more.
3/ I’m enjoying my time alone…I find that at times solitude is indeed my friend.
4/ I’ve joined a gym and am attending between 2-4 times a week.
5/ I’ve joined a group of like minded women who are focused on living their best lives and meet up with them monthly.
6/ I’ve moved on from Life Coaching. It was great to have access to a Life Coach, but I feel that I no longer need this support. Maybe, I will use her for other things from time to time. We remain friends and keep in touch. I believe that I encourage her as much as she’s helped and encouraged me.
7/ I’m in the middle of an “Introducing God” Course at the local Lutheran church and have enjoyed this very much, so far. Have also met some lovely people here.
8/I’m starting to take greater responsibility for My Life and beginning to define the life I want to live. I’m moving slowly, but surely towards that dream.

Last week was much better than the previous 2 weeks…. Took the cat to the Vet and she is on the mend; my daughter is okay and I managed as well as I could expect at work – altho’ a number of staff were absent and that meant a lot of extra demands on me.
On 1/5/09, I met up with a group of like minded women for the 1st time at dinner….we are a group of women who are interested in living our best lives and want to share the journey with similar people. I had a great night and it wil be good to see how this pans out.
Not exercising enough (twice last week) and not doing much to make my other goals a reality….still, I can only do better!

A difficult 2 weeks. At work and at home.
I am feeling peaceful now, as I’ve done all I can to sort out both fronts and am trusting that God will do whatever He needs to do now.
My daughter, mother and our kitten were all very ill.
Daughter needs further tests; mother is ageing, has cancer and had a fall and a cataract operation (she is improving) and our kitten had been vomiting for most of the week and because of this and my daughter’s distress, we have been very sleep deprived. I’ve been to the doctor’s, vet, oncologist, hospital and vet hospital so many times this past fortnight, I’m on a first name basis with all these health professionals.
And, I’ve had to be up between 5.30 and 6 am so I can get to work and open up for the day!
Most nights, I’ve slept about 2 hours straight!
Things settled down a bit on Friday night and I’ve had 8 to 10 hours sleep for the last 2 nights.
Our cat is on antibiotics as she has some signs of liver and kidney damage and also twisted intestines. The vet is waiting for more blood tests; she has not vomited for 2 days and is finally home.
I confronted the work situation after consulting with a senior (and respected) Manager in a related area at work. I spoke to me Manager. My Manager backed off & my co-worker is Sickly sweet. He is treating me better…. Hopefully, this will aettle down now.
I do feel that my God is looking after me….

My Self Care: I went to the Gym 4 times over the past fortnight and had a massage last Monday. Need to step up things here.

Today, I’m having lunch with the girls from my childhood school in Sri Lanka – an “Old Girl’s Lunch”. Hope that is good.

This week, God Willing, I’ll get back on track with my goals.

Overall, I think I’m doing better than most people would, if they were faced with my life circumstances.

My Dream Life is not out of my reach

A lot has been going on in the 10 days since I last wrote.
I’ve been through some emotional times – a see-saw….!

I’ve felt a little disappointed in 3 of my friends – They always look to me to help and encourage them when they are in need (often, in the past 18 months) but have not been around me over my birthday time or since. Contact has only been minimal and often accidental. PERHAPS, THIS IS A LESSON I NEED TO LEARN FROM. Anyway, I’m trying to deal with my hurt and disappointment and to let it go.

Self Care: I had a massage on Sunday – I did need it. Also exercised 3 times; spent time with my friend, Ia and visited mt sister in hospital (she had a double mastectomy). My sister and I have not really been close, but the times I visited her were good and for the first time, we actually laughed and shared confidences). She is so BRAVE!

I’m exploring my spiritual longings and went to a small group meeting and to the city to listen to a visiting pastoring couple.

I have been severely challenged upon my return to work. I’m being bullied by a colleague and a Manager and, as I’m desperate to get promoted into my job (it’s been advertised for Gazettal shortly), I’m trying to decide when to lodge a formal claim of harassment against him… Work has been distressing and draining. And isolating.

The work situation has had a deep impact upon my joy. I have to Trust myself to make the “right” decision as there will be negative fallout regardless of what I do.

Whilst I want to focus on the positive this year, this sort of thing and how I deal with it will have a bearing on my overall “BEST YEAR”.

A week spent exercising, giving away stuff that I don’t need, reading and spending time with friends, dining out and just dreaming.
I went to a Parent/Teacher night at my daughter’s school. She is doing well and I hope that this continues.
My friends, Bill and Marisa, took me to lunch with her cousin who is in Melbourne on holiday,(an Italian living in Ireland) at Fed Square on Monday (for my Birthday). He was lovely and we enjoyed our meal and walked along the Yarra River and then spent the rest of the afternoon lying on the grass in the sunshine and talking. Autumn in Melbourne has been just lovely!
Also had lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen since 1998! We had kept in touch with cards and phone calls (on a very irregular basis) but circumstances had kept us apart. We had a great time! She looks just the same, only older. It has made me think about the race of time and my need to make every day significant and enjoyable in some small way. NO TIME FOR REGRETS OR UNGRATEFULNESS.
I also helped a fellow Christian move house. He was doing it alone and was also pretty upset as he has just broken up with his girlfriend – didn’t really want to help, but felt moved to do so. In the process, I found myself reflecting on my journey and my relationships and I’m pretty happy with the decisions I’ve made and also how I’ve responded to the disappointments in my life. Life is Never PERFECT, but giving it one’s best helps.
Both my mum and my sister have had surgery this past week. They are okay, Thank God!
I had a massage last week as I have found that so helpful managing my migraines.
Also, got my car serviced – it really needed it!
And went to the movies and saw Easy Virtue – it was very funny – just what I needed!
In the last 2 weeks, I have been more relaxed than ever before.
I return to work and the busyness of life on Tuesday.

A week on Annual leave…. Have spent the time doing some routine, but important things for myself and my family and taking action to further meet my goals.
I spent time with my 22 year old son (rare and precious time together) on Monday and went to his home for dinner last night (celebrating my Birthday); time just READING; joined a gym; went to a “small group” meeting; caught up, individually, with 5 friends (coffee and lunch or dinner); went shopping and spent money on some beautiful and useful things for myself (some lovely winter tops for work and leisure time and a PURPLE hand bag!) and enjoyed experimenting in the kitchen.
Overall, a good week and the time just flew!
Spent some time yesterday with my delightful niece, Serena, as well.
Life is pleasant.

My week in retrospect: Busy at work and some challenging times with my daughter (but ended the week well on both counts – making some progress!)
On Friday, 13/3/09, I had dinner and spent some time with a friend after work – I remember feeling ridiculously happy about nothing in particular! Enjoyed a memorable evening with A!
I spent Saturday with 2 girls from my childhood in Sri Lanka – we shopped; had coffee and went to see Last Chance Harvey at the movies… Time with these girls is always wonderful!
I had dinner with my daughter and another friend and that was great too!
Sunday was devoted to Church, a long walk in Fitzroy gardens, home and my daughter and we enjoyed that also. Visited my mother and shared dinner with one of my brother’s and his family. My niece is 2 and absolutely delightful! – What can I say! Life is busy, full, and good!
I feel very Blessed!

2 months of 2009 are over and in Melbourne, we are in a new season. I have, in retrospect, enjoyed a lovely summer. This summer, I took my kids to the beachhouse for 4 days – that was lovely!
I have spent weekends eating out with my friends and walking along St Kilda and South Melbourne Beaches; I’ve watched the Sun rise and set; I’ve read some good books – biographies; books relating to health and fitness; christian living and self management. I’ve seen several movies and gone dancing.
I’ve been very busy at work and, whilst I hate the internal politics, I’m very focussed on doing my best at work and I’m actually enjoying myself!
I have encountered some difficulties with my teen aged daughter these past months, but I’m learning to set boundaries; recognise that she must also take some responsibility for herself and her choices; and also that I can only do so much and the rest is up to her. I pray for her and talk to her and tell her I love her. So, I’m at peace with myself about this matter. I will keep focussing on loving my child and encouraging her rather than locking into conflict.
Hopefully, this Autumn will also be good.