apologize less

I apologise too much. I use ‘sorry’ more than to be polite; I use to assuage my worries and paranoia that I’ve hurt someone.

Perhaps, this stems from my fear of abandonment. Sighs.

actually – in Russia i never said “sorry” so many times as here. bloody canadians say “sorry” everytime something happens – it can be heard almost as often as the word “like”!!!! even if i’m standing somewhere in the grocery store and do not see that somewone with a shopping cart needs to get where i am standing – he won’t say – hey, excuse me, i gotta get here – no, he will wait untill i feel something weird and see that he’s staring at me, and then he says: sorry! what the hell are you sorry for darling?! so this “sorry” infected me as well. now i try to avoid saying it all the time. bloody canadians! too polite eh…

Well I know that it’s not going to always be my fault that bad things happen, but because the situation is bad, I’ll apologize because I feel sympathy and compassion for the person I am saying it to. Otherwise I say sorry because I actually did do something and it is my fault- even in the smallest incident/case, saying sorry establishes I recognized what I did and that ‘I’m sorry’ for it. Then there are the sorry’s I say to close the topic and move onto another subject. Whether I mean it or not is besides the point also is the fact whether it be my fault or not. I will just say it for the sake of peace. But in conclusion- I say “sorry” quite alot and maybe I should lessen this habbit eh?

I probably apologize twenty times or more every day. It’s stupid. Some things just aren’t a big enough deal to apologize for. For example, I used to bump into my co-workers all the time when I worked at a coffee shop, and both of us would almost always say “sorry”. It’s not like you can avoid bumping into someone when you’re working in close quarters, flying around trying to do 5 things at once. By the same token, you’re not going to get mad if your co-worker bumps into you, unless he or she really injures you (not likely).

I have tried limiting myself to no more than 5 “sorry’s” per day. It has made my email writing more confident and authoritative, and I have neither assumed blame for things which are not my fault (or anyone’s fault, in many cases), nor elicited blame from others.

What surprised me was that my habit is most ingrained with my boyfriend. I blew all 5 “sorry’s” on him the first day I tried it! He wouldn’t mind if I stopped apologizing—he over-apologizes, too, and would probably like to stop.

Ideas on this subject anyone?

:)