255 people want to...

get a divorce


 

Entries

Ahhhhh…. Freedom… Divorce… Friends… Dating… Rumors… And did I say Freedom? 2 days ago

Let the big D come. Sucks in many ways, as I never envisioned myself being divorced, never ever… and those who know me, you know I’ve always advocated marriage is a sacred commitment.

It’s scary being on my own. But on the flip side of the coin, freedom. The reminder of who I am living in the big sea, outside of the fishbowl of a doctor’s wife in a small town. The flip side of the coin is exhilarating.

I can be a big fish in a small bowl, and only swim a certain way and show colors in a certain way, or I can make myself a big fish in an ocean, at least I think big, and be vibrant and swim any way I want. Life is beginning and I’m ready for it. It almost feels like life has been waiting for me and I was on pause for so many years. I’ve pressed play.

For so long I was wrapped up in something that wasn’t me. I’m no longer too loud, too eccentric, too brainy, too outrageous, too me. I no longer think too quickly so that I have to slow that thinking down for others. I am me! I dress the way I want, I say what I want, and I love who I love. I am me. And you know what… I really like me and I like where I’m at. Liberating as it is, it is RIGHT WHERE I’M SUPPOSE TO BE.

I want to make mistakes. I want to know what happens when I push this or that button of life. I want to shine by pushing those same buttons too!

The trick is to bring all the things that I loved from the girl that was and merge them with the woman that I love today. Scary and amazing at the same time. Again, I’m ready.

I’m a bit afraid of self absorption right now, but you know I’ve been so infused in an absorption that had not a thing to do with what my goals in life were that… ya… it’s a bit of me time. I question myself if that is truly absorption or finding who I am right now.

Given the history, dating I’m ready for, and I’ve been on one or two… I think. Amazing really, putting the feelers out, gaining my footing and grounding. What are the rules at this stage of the game… does a person go all out (which is the most fun) or not? I love my rules, and I don’t have any… bit frustrating on that point… don’t ya know I don’t like grey… I need rules to proceed… any input is good. Sigh… this too shall work itself out rightly I’m thinking.

Dating is good… commitment not so good. I’ve been committed for nearly 14, or is that 15 years… Yes that makes me a teenager on my last date where dinner and a movie were involved… Or is commitment good on a certain grey level?

I HATE grey.

And friends, you all are wonderful! Old and new alike. You’ve circled your wagons around and protected. You’ve lifted me up and above what was. You’ve let me shine. You’ve been a shoulder when most needed. You will continue to do so… this I know. I’m so humbled by you, all of you. You are amazing. You keep me busy and occupied… and when not busy and occupied you make me busy and occupied. I’m grateful!

And the fishbowl continues… with little input of mine. Conjecture. Assumptions. Insinuations. I just laugh. Really, my life is an apparent soap opera and quite dramatic from what I hear of the rumors. My God… Days of Our Lives oughta start a story line loosely based off of my life now. Just as I’ve always done… you walk right through it…. Hit it face on and keep going forward.

But even with all of this. I can’t stop but think that I am exactly where I need to be to enter the next stage of my life. It’s been waiting and I’m so ready to enter.



I cant wait! 1 week ago

I’m am not entering the new year married to him…....the goal is to be divorced by December 31, 2008!!!



Wow, the divorce bug bit... 1 week ago

I very much did not ever think that this would happen and did not want it to happen… however, life changes and we move on, right?

So with everything I do, I move with it and own it and make it my own.

I am liberated. I am Cathie again. I am free to do what I want when I want… and that hasn’t been in years.

I’ve lied low, I’ve bent over to accomadate… no more…

I am metamorphasizing, I am opening the next chapter of my life and writing as my own without care to sharing it right now…

Twelve years is a long time… time to go out and find the girl who once was, meet her again and take from her the things that I loved and put them with the things that I love now.



It's all good! 1 month ago

The final hearing was anti-climatic… he didn’t even show for court. All of 15 mins and I’m divorced with full custody of the kids. Whew! So far he’s done nothing he was court ordered to do: visitation, provide me access to storage to get my belongings or pay child support. Still tryin to decide if it’s worth going back to court to seek contempt or not.

He still calls me late a night, drunk and asks for help. Don’t know what kind of help I can give. I just have to ignore him and hang up.

Still struggling some days, mostly with the resentment about being left caring for our kids alone. But, for the most part, I’m thankful I am divorced.



Finally divorced 2 months ago

It was a bit of an anti-climax in the end, just a letter in the post yesterday.



Untitled 2 months ago

without looking back…



get a divorce 2 months ago

without looking back…



Living In God's Exquisite, Miraculous Sufficiency back from break, but not a lot of time to post.

Free 3 months ago

I’m free at last!!!!



Untitled 3 months ago

I dont actually need a divorce but i want to help my mom get her divorce.



Eponymous Drake Working in California

get me dinner 3 months ago

Tonight was a doozy. Wife demanded I choose a place for us all to eat dinner, but I said whatever she wants was fine. She started to get more and more frustrated that I wouldn’t decide for her, and she started to freak out in front of our kids. I overheard her calling her mom to complain about how mean I was being; how I wasn’t taking care of our kids.

Finally I took my son and daughter into a pizza place in SoHo, and she walked out on us, taking the keys to our studio apt. with her. Suddenly the depression I was feeling all evening lifted and the kids and I had a great time. My son (5 years old) behaved very well, my daughter (2) ate well. My son, bless his heart, talked about how mommy yells all the time and doesn’t like me. He said he likes being with me more. I could handle being a single father. I can’t take anymore of being a married one.



See all 207 entries

 

I want to: