get a divorce

waiting on him to be served. taking too long since I am also waiting on childsupport

Not as bad of it sounds. We have been seperated for a number of years and still get along. We spend alot of time together. And when it comes down to it still love each other. We just don’t want the same things anymore. It’s just time to end the marriage.

but money. And no, I dont mean that I married some old rich guy to have him take care of me. It was a young gay man (actually a couple of years younger than me) from Peru. He needed his papers. I needed some money while I was going to school full time, not working. I was extremely hesitant at first, but over many drinks one night, dancing at a club I told him I would. And woke up the next day scared but feeling as though I couldnt turn back. We married in a courthouse a few days before September 11th (yes…in 2001) And after various attempts at securing his citizenship, we were finally successful about a year and a half later. I didnt feel a particular need to end it at the time, figuring that it would be eons before I would want or find a real husband. He moved away to New York to pursue his dream of a career in fashion, and we lost touch. my being married has come back to bite me in the ass a few times. And for various reasons I would rather deal with this problem sooner than later…even though it is later.

I love my husband but not romantically he’s the guy I go to when I’m down. The person I run to when I feel sad. He cooks cleans but cant hold a job at all and his family ruined our life. He had affairs but so did I. we both still love the kids but we have no passion no romance no goals or dreams just like roommates.

sept 1,I went to my lawyers office and filed for divorce. I paid a private Investigator to confirm the cheating and once I saw the pictures and read all the emails of him chasing women and having affairs with people that he had the audacity to bring into my house… I knew I had to ignore my clingliness and move on my life.
His abuse should have been enough; but somehow I ignore it; but the fact that he kept lying about his infidelity and accusing me of cheating even when I was pregnant.
I am having a hard time sleeping without the past creeping into my dreams. I think about things with open eyes now. All the mind games and verbal beat downs. My sons didn’t have a father when we were living with him because he locked himself in his office all the time and was always claiming to be working. Now the really don’t have a father because at least they could see him when he came home and had dinner.
But I am moving forward and getting this divorce while I am still under 30 years old. Someday I want to move on to be with someone who won’t pretend to be soemthing that they are not

I suffer from a phobia of dealing with mail and legal forms. My friend Judy is helping me overcome this limitation by having me over to her house once a week just to open mail and fill out forms together. I feel much stronger when I’m with her, and I find I can deal with much more than I could alone.

Judy has just learned of my divorce situation, and has offered to help me fill out the necessary forms. This will be a big help! I’ve had friends offer to help me with this before, but this is the first time I’ve really felt like I could accept, or count on getting the kind of help I need.

I have high hopes this goal is lining up to get accomplished this year!

We have been seperated 6 years, the divorce is only the act of doing it at this point, nothing more nothing less, have even taken back my maiden name a year & a half ago, had the divorce papers all filled out once, gave them to him to complete his section of them, he never did, first step get the needed paperwork again!

Its been many many years, but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

I have a lawyer now..just waiting to get my first check stub to prove that I am working to file for a divorce

That’s what I am. Can’t see any way out until I’ve navigated the kids through their school years, got my driver’s licence and sorted some financial problems. In the mean time, although I try to live as separately as possible I feel like I am stuck in hell.