carpe diem

This morning, at 7:30am, I sat in a Starbucks on Lambton Quay, lazily flicking through pages online, sipping sweet caffeine, and watching the world go by.

It wasn’t just limited to seizing the day – mum, my brother, P and I went about seizing the weekend.

Spending time with my younger brother was special. He got on with P like a house on fire. [Here I should pause and contemplate how truly wonderful my boyfriend is. He spent the whole of Saturday with J, just hanging out and showing him around. It makes my chest swell a little bit to know that I’m with a such a good and kind man]. That left my mum and I free to shop and wander and talk. I imagine that, were I a chain smoker, spending time with my mum would be like taking a long drag and exhaling.

1. I know it’s been disconcerting for J, being the one still at home when my parents separated. He’s so coiled up at the moment – bored out of his mind, waiting for the future to tap him on the shoulder (he’d actually even appreciate it smacking him in the face). I think I saw a small light go on somewhere when he was down here (especially after seeing P’s lifestyle), and I hope he pursues it.
2. My family means the world to me.
3. It’s very interesting looking at people looking at the city in which you live. I got a layer of something filmy peeled back from my eyes when I pointed things out to mum and J – little local things that you’ve seen a million times before. Delightful.

I walked along the waterfront with P early this morning. The sky was marbled and the sunrise was just spilling over the horizon. We were eating gelato left over from last night, darting our feet out in front of us in quick succession to try and coax out some warmth out of somewhere. As I looked up, a flock of white birds soared past overhead, and the lights on the promendate caught their wings. It was beautiful.

This past weekend was stunning. P whisked me away to a home in the hills, complete with olive groves, huge double beds and spa pools.

I seized every minute. Out in the country, the air tastes different. Climbing trees, skinning knees, rolling in the grass. Lots and lots of laughter.

I left my keys at Lover Boy’s house this morning, in a mad bid to get outside for a taxi. Consequently, I’m locked out of home. At first I frantically thought “f!ck it”, and contemplated breaking in. Then, however, another thought struck. I’m just round the corner from university, I have what I need to study – why not seize the day, make the best of the situation and get some work done?

That’s exactly what I’m about to do. Odd how an otherwise boring Friday can end up being adventurous!

Time to really enjoy life. If not now, when? No more regrets. Leave the past behind and get on with the future. Keep a good attitude and an open mind. Appreciate all the small things. (and big things).

I carpe diem all the freaking time. But I’m tired. I do too much. I think I feel I owe it to myself and the people I love who have died. But I’m tired. However, I’m tired no matter what. If I don’t carpe diem then I’ll just be lazy on the couch or the internet at home. Where is my balance? Will I ever find it?

I’m happy that I dared to take the opportunity and pursue my dreams :)

If you can’t see the possibilities, I think one can miss out on a plethora of opportunities. I’ve been trying to consider all angles to each situation. What exactly are my options and how can I make the most of what’s standing in front of me? In other words, how can I make things work for me? I think if I can couple that with being able to create my own opportunities I can be unstoppable.

I find all the different interpretations to this goal quite interesting. I love this goal. I think if I can just get better at this one goal, it will benefit everything on my list.