be self confident

Lately since my last relationship I feel worthless, like I have nothing to offer, life has lost its meaning…

My goal is to get back into things and start being happy again.

tried an failed that sucks

I have been in alot of situations to test my self confidence lately and I am going to mark this as done. Turns out I am more confident than I thought. I am naturally a bit shy and equated this with lack of confidence, but they are two separate things. This past weekend, I attended my work Christmas party alone, not knowing who amongst my coworkers knows that the husband and I have seperated. I did pretty good, I had a good time, and I didn’t feel like a loser going alone. More people knew than I thought, and were very kind to me. I felt like this was a big step for me and I took it and did great.

I have such a hard time with this one. I really have to try extra hard now that I am going through alot of self-doubt, etc. Have many social things coming up…

I really have alot of self confidence around people who know me, but I am reserve and shy around all others. My theory, which I have been trying out lately, is to fake it. I did this on a few occasions over the holidays. I pretended I was a very self-confient person, and somehow became one. I had some amazing conversations at a few parties. Usually I keep my views to myself in those situations, but I got great reactions. I even out-talked my husband, who loves to be the center of attention. I am going to try this experiment at the gym and at my daughter’s preschool, where I usually try to fade in the background and not be noticed.

I want to be more self confident with myself in all aspects. Whether it be looks, talent, or acedemic achievement. I want to be able to look into the mirror and be able to tell myself I am good enough. I feel like one of the people you see on TV that has a sad life story and is just depressed. I am not a victim, but sometimes I feel that way. One day I will attain this, I know it. :)