become friends with my ex

Finally met the girl i thought i would spend the rest of my life with. Up and one day she left me, wasnt bitter at all. Shared some amazing times together, ill never forget her, seeing as how we were best friends before hand. Now i never hear from her, ever. Even the night we ended up she promised nothing would change, but it has. Fallen into a deep depression. I want to work things out and have her back in my life as a friend.

It’s been three years now since we went our seperate ways. Recently I had the opportunity to meet up with her at Starbucks to catch up. She’s grown prettier over the years and definitely grown up quite a bit. She still makes me smile and it was good finally talking to her again.

It broke my heart though when I found out she’s started smoking cigarettes. Keep in mind that I dated this girl when she was 16, and back then she was so innocent. When we were together she never drank or smoked anything and that was a quality I really admired in her.

I have several friends who have been smoking since their high school days and I’ve seen firsthand the pain they go through when they try to quit. I’ve seen how it effects them physically and emotionally and it kills me to know that the girl I used to adore will fall victim to the same fate.

She promised to come visit me again, but it still hasn’t happened. We’ll see.

This could be so long. We were friends. Her husband died. It took 10months to come to me and want to date, the whole time I hit on her to go out with me…we became so involved and everything was great. I havent been with anyone for eight years and i got scared…and I pushed her away from me..biggest mistake of my life…I hurt her…we should have been best friends first..I know that now. She has found someone else, she thinks she loves him…It was hard at first, but we are becomming friends again now..and that is my plan…to become best friends…and if it does not last with him…there I will be…and mabey we can start over again…what do you think.

I even went to a couple of their weddings. I really do like to see people happy.

Even the McLiar spotted me on the freeway one day and wanted to get my new number. I told him that I was very happy with someone new(McSmarty) and to just give me his number. I never did call him. I did not have anything else that I needed to say to him after we spoke that day. He was fine and I was fine. Time to move on.

The biggest challenge was McPunk. We dated off and on for 5 1/2 years from the time I was 15-21. We even lived together for 5 months at the end. Even Berta told me that we had become like sister & brother roommates and not bf & gf when she came to stay with us for a few days. After we broke up, our mutual friends seemed to think that we needed to know what the other one was up to. It was hard. When I moved from OC to LA I did not have to hear the updates anymore. I did stop by his parents with my two little kids to thank them for all they did for me all those years. I wanted them to know that I was doing well. They let me know that he was married had kids and was good also. I was glad :)
It had been 21 years since we had spoken but we recently got in touch. We both agreed how we both needed to cut off communication with each other if we were ever going to move on. We asked how each others families are, jobs, and even Punk shows…he was on his way to one!! LOL
Some things never change :D

When I was a senior in high school I met a girl who truly captured my attention. Her personality was so different than others I had met, yet we shared so much in common. Maybe it’s because I’m so different myself. She is the only girl I’ve ever been able to talk to on the phone for 4-6 hours EVERY DAY. Most people can’t even hold a conversation that long, much less do it multiple days in a row. We never ran out of things to talk about; from our childhoods to religion to school to our futures, and everything in between.

She had only had one boyfriend in her life, so naturally she wasn’t really prepared for a relationship. I did my best to take things slow, but on our first date I couldn’t resist and kissed her. She freaked out and we didn’t speak for a few months. When summer came, we started talking again, and in the last month before I left for college, she realized what was happening and in a scramble, we tried to make the best of what time we had left together. We spent some amazing days together, but in the end she told me she couldn’t be my girlfriend if I was moving away. Immensely hurt, I said some stupid things and cut things off with her.

About 2 years later, on a spur-of-the-moment decision while in my old neighborhood, I called her and asked if she’d like to catch up. She was surprised to hear from me, but was eager to see me again. We only hung out for about an hour but in that hour I realized I didn’t care if we couldn’t be together, simply being around her made me so happy. No girl can crack me up like she can, her personality and mine click so well. She promised to come see me in San Jose, but after a few weeks of text messaging, I stopped hearing from her.

That was almost a year ago now. I hardly think about her anymore, maybe once every other month, but dammit, when I do, I miss her. I’d love to have her back in my life, even as a friend and nothing more.

whatever.

we’ve started talking again, but it’s still awkward

He decided not that the not talking to me thing wasn’t working. So now I think we are talking again.

We were friends before we ever went out and he is my favorite person to be around on this campus whether we are dating or not. He needs “time”, so I’m giving it to him. We broke up 2 weeks ago. We haven’t spoken in a week. I figured I should wait for him to talk to me first but I just miss being friends with him.

I decided to write another entry because I’ve actually been doing some research, and I had contact with my ex. The contact didn’t go so well, but hey at least I tried, right. I wasn’t rude or anything, I just wanted to give her Christmas gift, which I would have given her whether we were together or not, but she refused to accept it. She said “I don’t want to be around you. I don’t want to even be in the same room with you.” I had never seen her this hateful toward anyone. I just want us to have some level of restoration, and I am not talking about dating, though that would be nice. I want to have an emotional connection with her once again. So anyways, on the concept of moving on, letting go, finding a new fish, and time healing all wounds… I don’t believe these are the right way to go about things. In other words, I don’t believe that time heals all wounds, I believe that you need to place the proper medical attention on the wound for it to heal. In my search for advice, I have run accross many so called “advice” columns and articles that are traced with negativity. Sometimes it is under the surface and hard to detect. I have read advice that tells you to move on, to let it go, to chuck it up to experience. The only problem with this is that the original relationship still remains broken, and deep down inside we know that by doing these so called “techniques” we are doing nothing more than avoiding the issue. People tell you that it isn’t worth the time, that you need to just forget about it, that you just need to find new friends. That the relationship won’t be as beautiful as before, because it has been damaged. But, how does any of this restore the original friendship? (which is re-asking the original question.) It does not. If people are in such a perpetual state of belieiving these lies, it is no wonder that they do not find a way to restore a once broken relationship. The truth is people restore relationships that seem impossible to restore a lot more than you may think. These are not people who moved on, who forgot about it, who thought it wasn’t worth the time. These are people who worked hard at it. I have restored a relationship with one of my friends who is now closer to me than ever. I just don’t know how to do this with my ex. This is why I know that moving on, and letting go are not answers to my question. My question is how do I restore my relationship on some level, not how do I give up on it. I say “How do I restore the relationship with my ex?” The advice columnist says “There are other women out there.” So, I repeat my question, because she has clearly avoided it. “Again, I am asking you, how do I restore the reltionship with my ex? I’m not asking you how to give up on it.” She says “I think sometimes we need to give up on things like this.” So I say again, “Many people have done what others thought was impossible, and people told them that what they were was something they should give up on. I’m asking you, how do I restore the relationship with my ex?” She then became irate, and said “Okay, I don’t know!” So I left, and didn’t pay her a nickle!”