feel comfortable in my skin

I finally decided to try medication to help with my painful social anxiety and I feel like a new person. I resisted for so many years, thinking, “well, if there’s something wrong with me, I don’t want to cover it up, I need to get to the root of it and fix it myself.” Commendable attitude, I suppose, but after meditation and yoga and mantras and mental exercises, I was still hyperventilating at the thought of a dinner party, and becoming paralyzed whenever someone dropped by my office. I’m such a happier person now, more comfortable about my body and proud of my personality instead of ashamed every time I speak. I still need to work on a few things to feel 100 percent great, but this has been an enormous breakthrough for me.

Some days I love being who I am… some days I’d like to tear away my body and fly away… Sometimes I want to change everything about myself… other days I can’t understand how I would think that…

I know:

some things need to change
some things don’t
some things need to be acknowledged
some things need to be accepted

This will be a long journey… the first step has been taken.