claim my power

Feel alot of anxiety about this that I will have to work through.

I am going to make a point of really being mindful about what I direct my attention to for the next few days.

I have to reach hard these days, and progress seems slow to non-existent – but I can’t look or judge.

Alright – time to claim my thinking power, my organizational power, my interpersonal skills power. Claim it. Use it. Put it to work. Time to claim my will power.

I have the power to think and choose – and I also have the power to endure discomfort – but I’m constantly distracted by it. The power of perspective. The power of foresight. I’m really good at rationalizing, I’ve figured that much out. Now I can use this power to rationalize moving forward, to rationalize suffering discomfort, to rationalize plowing ahead when I don’t “feel” like ti. Not rationalize my fear – but rationalize my courage, my endurance. I have this! We all do – just sometimes it feels optional – and who doesn’t wish for a painless, infinitely gratifying, risk-free, pain-free existence? Avoiding pain is stupid! It turns into a lifestyle, a fulltime job, a personality, a way of life.

I want to claim my power to take risks, to endure discomfort, to look ahead. I want to claim my power to live fully and to be my strongest, smartest most hopeful self.

Where have I given my power away? I think I give it away with all my rationalizations and all my avoidance. I no longer comply with the will of others in order to get along, but this isn’t exactly the same as claiming my power…I mean, I guess this is just something I have to claim, as simple as that – and either I do so or I don’t. I guess I have to believe that I have power to claim, and that I don’t have to give it away to other people in order to placate and appease their fear, or egoism, or need for control…or my own, for that matter…

what is my power anyway? and what does this mean….