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Avoid doing things that are inconsiderate of others

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Compassion in ArtAn After Work Checklist

After work each day, it is often difficult to transition into a role of interacting with family and significant others, because the objectives and interests of work and home are often very different. Here is a checklist that may help relieve stress, solve nagging problems, and improve your demeanor so you can maybe be more of the person you want to be for those close to you:

After Work Checklist:

After spending 8 hours of having to be constantly positive and on my best social behavior, do I want time alone to not have to be considerate of anyone else?

Are there chores/projects I need to get done or I wish others in my family would do?

Do I need to take some medicine or pain reliever?

Do I need to turn my brain off and get passive stimulation from music, games, reading, or TV?

Are there people I want attention from or to whom I want to give attention?

Do I need to oversee my family members’ tasks (people for whom you are a guardian, like a child or aging parent)?

Do I need food?

Do I need sleep?

Do I want something to look forward to?

Am I lacking something in my life that I miss or that I’ve lost and I want again?


If you don’t answer these kinds of questions and resolve these kinds of regular issues before interacting with your family members each day, you may unnecessarily harm the people close to you, or at the least, make your life and their’s less pleasant than you are capable.

You can’t expect your significant other to ask you all of those questions every evening – that wouldn’t be sensitive or conversational. Such an activity would be overdone. Instead, it is probably best for a person to do these kinds of things for themself. 3 years ago


Compassion in ArtThe Significance Is Measured In How Well You Treat Your Significant Other

If you have a significant other, and you give more time and attention to many other things than you do to your significant other, then they won’t likely remain with you.

This is because . . . well . . . because you don’t treat them with significance. The expected behavior is implied in the description: significant other. It’s expected in your behavior and in the role you choose to take on and maintain.

That’s part of the reason there’s no term for “insignificant other.” That would be just an acquaintance, probably not even a friend.

Before you criticize your significant other for their behavior, ask yourself: How well have I made them feel significant lately? 3 years ago


Compassion in ArtLove And Pleasures

Love is not so much that which brings us into pleasures.

Love is probably more about that which brings our pleasures into sustainable balance. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtThe Principle Of Subtraction

What makes something beautiful?

What makes something pleasant?

You can learn more about what makes something beautiful by asking this question:

What part, if removed, would make this less beautiful?

I’m going to call this the “Principle of Subtraction.”

Much of modern consumer-encouraged culture is focused on “addition.” We are led to believe that happiness will be enabled by simply adding one more thing to our lives. We are often encouraged through advertising to ask ourselves:

What if only I had more money, a prettier boyfriend, better clothes, more free time, a “cleaner” soul, or a more prestigious job? What if I could be thinner, taller, or funnier? What do I need to add to my life, personality, or skills to make my life happier?

Our lives are not always made better by pursuing addition. “Adding” one more thing or characteristic is a theoretical pursuit. It’s trial and error.

The Principle Of Subtraction focuses on what you already have and already know. It’s asks you to consider what parts, if removed, might make the whole less beautiful or less pleasant. When you consider the beautiful things in your life, and ask yourself this question, it can give you a clearer picture of what components make something beautiful for you. It often will show you there are more beautiful parts than you may have fully appreciated.

The world constantly queues us to ask: What are we missing and what should we add? The Principle Of Subtraction asks us to give more weight and protection to the beauty that already exists.

Think of something you perceive to be beautiful. Now think of its parts, components, traits, or aspects? Remove those parts one at a time and ask yourself: Does it remain beautiful with that part missing? As you identify parts you believe are essential to maintaining the beauty of something, re-evaluate their “value.” Recognize, if applicable, that those previously perceived “smaller parts” may be absolutely essential to defining and maintaining the full beauty.

Do this exercise so you don’t destroy beauty thoughtlessly. Do this so you don’t misrepresent how much you care. Do this so you don’t foolishly or mindlessly lose something you did not want to lose.

It’s easy to see what you don’t have and what you think might make you happier. But it may be wiser to enjoy the value of what you have by better appreciating how easily it can be destroyed if only a “small” part of it disappears.

The Principle Of Subtraction is a subjective evaluation. Your application of it will be unique. But if you consider it, it may improve your happiness and prevent you from losing beauty carelessly. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtKnowing Your Perspective

Sometimes we choose to love someone, not only because we love them, but also because we perceive few others may love them as much, as well, or as dependably.

Sometimes we perceive few others may be able to as fully appreciate the value of the person we admire.

Sometimes this comes from understanding similar suffering.

Sometimes this comes from understanding similar intents.

Sometimes this comes from having chosen to take similar risks. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtIntimacy & Accountability

It’s not that intimacy can’t exist without accountability.

It’s that intimacy tends not to last without accountability. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtFor Love With Criticism

If you think you can be in a loving relationship without it involving regular criticisms back and forth, you are wrong.

And if you find you have difficulty dealing with criticism from anyone, do not be surprised if you also have difficulty maintaining significant other relationships. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtTo Love Someone Is To Make Them A Priority

If you love someone, you make them a priority. If you don’t make them a priority, you should reconsider whether or not you should declare you love them.

If you don’t make someone a priority, then it still can be said you have befriended them or cared for them. But to love someone is to show through your time, focus, and actions they are a priority in your life. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtIf In Looking Back . . .

If in looking back on the loves of your life, you believe you only had one great love during your life, then I can completely understand your desire to only have one love in your life.

If in looking back on the loves of your life, you believe you had more than one great love during your life, then I can completely understand your desire to have more than one love in your life.

Our past loves and our interpretations of them can strongly effect the kinds of love we look for in the future and the kinds of love we believe to be healthy and desirable. 4 years ago


Compassion in Art3 Underrecognized Values

The ability to earn compensation in proportion to your contributions.

The ability to be rewarded for all of your extra efforts.

The ability to keep and profit from all you have earned. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtThe Best Things In Life Are Not Remotely Free

The best things in life tend to require consistent re-payment and balancing. They tend to come at a high cost, whether the cost is realized or not.

And a common mistake many people make with their greatest assets is that they don’t continue to pay them enough time, attention, and reward.

Don’t undersestimate the value of your existing asssets, even if you are not regularly reminded of their high cost. Remind yourself of their worth and treat them accordingly. 4 years ago


Compassion in ArtBetween Being Fairly Put Through Regular Scrutiny And Being Abandoned, I'll Choose To Be Scrutinized

Having grown up around people who were abandoned, and having been abandoned myself, I easily prefer being fairly and regularly criticized over being abandoned. I easily prefer the debates over the silence of no debates.

Both are difficult, but I prefer the inherent, expected, and fair conflicts in long term relationships more than I prefer social environments that seek an absence of scrutiny.

I’ve never seen a great long term relationship where the couple did not regularly face difficult conflicts while also enjoying regular pleasant companionship. I have not observed one existing without the other. 5 years ago


Compassion in ArtThere's a verse in The Bible . . .

There’s a verse in The Bible that says:

“Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:24.

The verse has been translated into English in different ways, but the essence of the message stays the same.

I’ve often had trouble with this verse because it suggests people should be inconsiderate of their own needs – and that does not make sense to me.

I prefer the following idea:

Be considerate of others and yourself at the same time. Do not be inconsiderate of yourself or others. 5 years ago


Compassion in ArtMy Love does not like many television animated cartoons

I grew up enjoying most cartoons on television. But my love did not.

And as I was watching a cartoon that was on the TV today, I realized she probably does not like that kind of humor (for the same reason she doesn’t care for slapstick humor) because most of the humor is inconsiderate.

The humor may be undoubtably funny to most people, but because she is so empathetic of others, she doesn’t find inconsideration funny. 5 years ago


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