637 is on the road. He'll be back.
...And often times I would entertain my mind with confusing and ultimately silly thoughts.
Like,
what if everyone sees a color differently?
I would sit and ponder relentlessly.
What if my color orange was someone else’s purple? How would they know what my color looked like? Maybe someone’s black is my white. Perhaps we all subconsciously feel universally about a specific color because of how our environment, histories, and general and accepted perceptions shape and form them. How could we truly know what someone sees through their own eyes? There would be no way. Maybe if I looked through your eyes with your perceptions the sky would be a deep red, in contrast to my blue. Perceptions change from person to person after all, right?
Yeah, right.
...My mind was a loose cannon, albeit a very effective one; simply refusing to use it because of it’s massive unpredictability would be grossly inefficient and a waste of resources.
Oh, how I’ve sharpened you, Zen.
Many times I’ve looked up to your profile, your seemingly endless gaze staring off into the distance. When you’d look at me, I felt fuzzy in the crosshairs of your scrutiny.
And, quietly, I’d whisper how I’d be like you one day.
A silly assessment, as I’ve long surpassed you.
Leadership hides behind many guises, even in this wretched, fragile and ultimately Human body of mine. I’ve lead us to greatness, and I’ve shown you how to become strong.
Like me.
I must sound a little crazy.
...When the observer truly believes the illusion, it becomes real. I’ve planted roots onto all of your minds, draining, assessing, and making you all confused and happy with my realizations.
I’ve been waking up tired lately, presumably from my relentless dreaming. I don’t mind my muscles aching however, as it gives me a conscious reminder that I use them. I’ve realized that the flesh may not be excused from the laws of matter and physics, but the mind is not so fettered. Thoughts, ideas and dreams transcend the physics of the brain.
And so far, I’ve remained one step ahead of my little chess match with God. My mind is a sword fitted with an atom edge. My mind swirls with constant calculations, theories, musical incarnations and various other moral principals that allow me to remain human. I utilize various algorithms in my day to day activities, quietly keeping my mind occupied with rebuilding the stars or other such silly activities. I like to hold debates and silently count doubles in my head.
65536… 131072… 262144…
8389608…
33553332…
1…3…4…2…1…87…29?
Ha. I lose, again.
Back to the beginning.
...The thing that makes me most human is my constant failures, and my continuing to go back, knowing I’ll be beaten.
The terrible irrationality gets the best of me sometimes, and I continue to go back for more… more…
I’m quite thirsty, after all.
But, no matter. I plan on sharpening my mind to the point that it bends back and folds upon itself – like space and time.
My projected profits are innumerable when put into comparative sacrifices.
Oh, how I’ve stood before you so many times and killed you every time.
Stupid, meaningless subconscious.
And everytime, my fabricated reality dries and cracks around me, and I find myself falling down the rabbit hole once more. Heavy gravity reaches out with seductive, unseen fingers as I fall faster and faster.
Then I remember it’s all a dream…
all a dream.
something to consider writing my next posting about…
...I’ll leave everything I’ve left behind once again and depart into the abyss a free man.
I’ll surely invite you with me, but be forewarned… the journey will be long; the sacrifices, great.
The potential, however…
