give myself a break

I don’t have to be everything to everyone, and it’s okay to say “no”.

I had planned on going the gym for a run during lunch today, but changed my mind when my friend asked me to do lunch. I’ve run 6 days straight, and decided to switch tomorrow’s scheduled day off to today and have lunch with her instead. I had a great time eating fajitas and sharing time with my friend.

Some things have happened over the last week that immediately started to feel guilty for, even though they are nothing to do with me. Have tried really hard to take a calmer, less insane approach with some success, must work harder at this goal.

I vented ever so slightly today and immediately felt very unprofessional afterward. It’s ok to look human at work sometimes!

......I am NOt responsible for everything, I am NOT responsible for everything (lather, rinse, repeat).

I was told recently, I need to ease up on myself. Stop beating myself up, literally and figuratively. I’ve taken the place of my abuser.

I am the abuser.

43 things, Number 1.

Go easy on myself.

Belive in what I am doing, rather than focusing on what I am not.

Love and hugs.

I am really looking forward to my week-and-a-bit off, and to going home for Christmas.
My plans involve being disgustingly lazy and having lots of fun. I can’t wait!
If I could just get those last few presents bought…

Well, my week is up. I wouldn’t say I’ve been hugely successful. I still feel tired and almost at every turn I caught myself thinking there were things I “had” to do.

But I think that was what made it worth it. It was a chance to realise how frantic my thinking can get sometimes and the importance of taking a break regularly.

This was another goal I made a good start on, before it went sliding away again. I actually managed to allow myself to be bored on Sunday. I did a few things over Monday and Tuesday, but felt fairly relaxed about it. I enjoyed setting my own schedule.

Then I blew it yesterday. I went shopping and just tried to jam too much into the day. I ended up feeling exhausted and stressed.

I learned my lesson though. Today I am just taking it easy, answering emails, doing a bit of cleaning, enjoying my book. I’m going to make sure I limit my ambitions for the rest of the week.

I just handed my last uni assignment in. My last exam is on Thursday. NaNoWriMo starts on Wednesday and I have a list of things waiting for November that’s a mile long.

I need a break. These things are important and I really want to do them. But they’re not as important as giving myself a break. Because if I don’t give myself a break, I’m not going to have the energy, will or ability to do them.

Now I just have to remember this.

As I said, my exam is on Thursday. Therefore next week is my week off. I won’t tell myself there are things I “have” to do. I’ll just relax and see what comes. Might be a good time to have that massage…