I’m far away from this goal right now and it will take hard work to get there, however it doesn’t have to be a long hard slog. It will just take persistance, determination and commitment. Little and often is the key. Hard work won’t mean running up a mountain every day. It will mean not eating after 8pm or eating more fruit and vegetbles. It won’t mean I have to spend 8 hours a day at a desk studying, reading, writing- It means perhaps spending at least 40 minutes doing so.
Every little will help.
I also have to stop craving the attention of others who don’t want to be around me and stop taking people’s distance from me so personally. Stop being so sensitive. We are all doing what we can to live our lives in the best way we know how. I am no different.
I am my biggest tool and as I have said, I need not discriminate against myself. I am the best company I could want, I just have to embrace it. 5 years ago
This is up to me and me 100% theres not a thing that anyone around me can or even will do to help me. I sound like I’m sulking but I have actually come to the conclusion that nobody actually cares about my problems really. On sunday I felt this overwhelming sense of lonliness and vulnerability. I only really wanted to speak to one person and one person only but I did and the conversation didn’t go how I had envisioned i.e. me being soothed. So since then I have tried to contact a string of friends and speak to them but have not been able to get through. Those I left messages with have not gotten back to me.
I understand that we all have our own lives to lead and can get very busy. Sometimes we just don’t want to be contacted. I just realise that my problems really are my own and whilst I need a friend I dont have one right now. They may be there next week, the week after or next month but I need one now. I’m gonna have to ride this feeling out and just get on with things, keep myself busy and in the long run keep it moving.
I have to be my own friend first. 5 years ago
I just need to step out of my comfort zone, be brave and more importantly- be her. 5 years ago
Although I am very well aware of the efforts and sacrifices I have made to progress and succeed in life, this became even more prominent to me as I sifted through clutter in my bedroom tonight as I attempted to declutter.
I came across drafts of CV’s, covering letters for work experience, news paper articles of interest relating to work prospects and industries, job advertisements and to-do lists. Here was the physical evidence of my attempts to become somebody in the last eight years or so.
Although it hasn’t all paid off and I am not even near where I want to be, my life is not the total disaster that it was a while back. it makes me proud to see how hard I have worked.
It also makes me think that maybe I am so lazy and unmotivated now because I have worked so hard and saw hardly anything in return. Dont get me wrong, I am a hard worker when it comes to doing an actual job in the outside world, it’s just doing things for myself that I find hard. This has to change.
I have to find the motivation to write, to de-clutter, to love myself, to live… 5 years ago
My optimism in this goal is renewed. I am so confident that I am getting closer to this goal. The time is nigh. It’s almost as if through my actions of hard work and sacrifice, I am finally being pushed towards my goals of earning a good salary and getting my own space whether I like it or not- I like it of course.
I have been at home for too long scared to leave and at what awaits me despite being unhappy here for so many years. Now at a ripe age, emmerging like a butterfly my leaving has become inevitable, vital and overdue. Nature is pushing me out and it feels good. I have to go now.
My career choice, although not really what I want to be doing, will guarentee me long term and secure employment even in these unstable times. All I have to do is get a job in a sturdy environment and institution and just stick to it for once in my life.
It is once I do this that I can truly live the way I want to live and do what I want to do. Life will be brighter.
Coming home on a train today from a particular house gave me this revelation. 5 years ago
This is harder than it seems. Most of the time I’m just tired point blank. I’ve worked hard during the crucial times in my life when I should have done and to be honest none of it has really paid off. The one thing that I can claim and am proud of is the fact that I primarily got my education for my own personal reasons. I just wanted to better myself. Had I done it to get a good job or good prospects and elevate myself in life I would be furious right now. At least I am thankful for that. 5 years ago
The young woman I want to become does not sit on facebook skimming through peoples profiles to find out how much better their lives are than hers and what they are up to.
The young woman I want to become has her eye on her own prizes and will stop at nothing and keep pursuing to make this possible.
She gets up for work motivated by the prospect of being able to do what she wants to do once her weeks work is done and she is all the better off for it.
She does not yearn for things that she cannot have and focuses on the things that she has clear and direct access to.
She does not waste time thinking or caring about those who do not think or care about her. 5 years ago
Actually persuing my goals in 2009:
Writing and submitting articles
Working on short stories
Taking a TEFL course
Learning to drive 5 years ago
I really want to put my everything into doing this. I want to be that chick who’s going places and doing things in her life. I’ve got all of the tools to do it (qualifications, drive, potential etc.) I just need to use them to my benefit to make me the person I want to be.
I need to use my resources to self-actualise. In 2009 I need to book driving lessons, I want to see about doing a TEFL course to work abroad and I want to go back to looking the way I did at my best. These are goals I need to work towards. I want to get at least one article published (paid or unpaid) and to also write a short story.
These goals ARE attainable. I am not saying I have to start driving by a particular time next year, just that I need to get the ball rolling to work towards this. I want to research TEFL courses to see if this is an option for me opposed to definitely doing one and going to work abroad that same year. I just want to at least start considering these things seriously.
The point is that every year my life seems to either get worse or is uneventful which is why one of my goals on 43 things is to live instead of exist. Next year HAS to be different. If it DOES start off like every other year I’ve had in the last four years then i will DEFINITELY be looking at doing something drastic to enrich my life and give it a real boost. 5 years ago
She is brave and beautiful. She goes for what she wants and gets it. She is who I have the potential to be. 5 years ago