make 2009 as good as it can be

One of the best things about 2009 has been discovering that I can often see the International Space Station. Tonight, as I was walking home from work, it was clear and bright – and (a new development, this) it was being followed! Seems it’s the Space Shuttle Atlantis coming home for Thanksgiving :)

It takes about 5 minutes to travel across the sky and, when it disappears behind the yews in the garden, sometimes (according to the map on the website ) it’s already over Paris or even Berlin!

Am pleased to say it’s been another exceptionally good week.

Friends and family

I’ve been unusually sociable this week! Saw my family and the wine-tasting crowd on Wednesday including a couple of people I don’t see very often. On Thurs went for dinner with AB, her husband and a couple of other people, and we’ve now managed to find each other on FB so hopefully we should be able to stay in touch much better now. She’s Swedish and has already been interrogating me about the presence of a jar of Ikea lingonberry jam in the FIGOTBMG photo on there, eek! How to explain that without giving away 43T? Friday was Dark and Stormy night with Moose which was brilliant fun. Last night I saw G and today it was my brother’s 40th birthday lunch which was really good and G is coming round shortly to make dinner. So a busy week. It’s been lovely but a bit random that all these things happened in quick succession. I have a relatively quiet week coming up which I’m looking forward to.

Work

Work has continued to go really well. Got the accounts finished and I’m going to present them to the trustees at the big meeting on Tuesday. We had a breakthrough on Monday at the weekly meeting, concerning the way we calculate how much dosh the trustees have available for grants. I spoke up and suggested a better way of doing it so am proud with myself for doing that. We interviewed for a new minion and found someone I think will be good, who starts tomorrow. And I sorted out an issue that cropped up earlier in the week. As I was leaving on Friday evening, P thanked me for helping her settle in, which was very nice.

Healthinessfulllllllllllness

Nothing much to report on the weight loss front because I haven’t been weighing myself knowing that if I do, it will be bad news! It’s difficult to reconcile dieting with all the gallivanting and meals out that have been happening this week. Will try to do better next week. Have finally made an appointment to go to the dentist so that’s something (it’s been over a year apparently, oops).

Exercise

Did weights last Sunday which made me achey for about four days, and late nights have not been conducive to early morning trips to the gym. I went today though and found that one of the new machines has arrived already – an uber-whizzy elliptical thing – so I spent a very enjoyable hour bouncing about on it. I’m abandoning any attempt at early mornings for the time being, but am aiming to do two sessions of weights at home and to go to the gym on Sat and Sun next weekend.

Reading

Finished Ghostwritten which I really enjoyed, more than Cloud Atlas in fact – there are a lot of similarities. Next up I want to read the book on improving one’s voice, as I have to speak at the meeting on Tuesday and want to be as good as possible. After that, it will probably be Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman which G picked up at the book exchange.

Piano

Practised on Monday and yesterday and then played to G. My main problem is that as soon as I think anyone’s listening, I immediately fuck up, and G is a particularly critical audience. I even go wrong when I hear someone walking down the corridor outside! And once that happens, I find it hard to recover. I wish I could simulate having someone listening. Anyway, more practice required.

Premier cru project

We’ve had two this week – a Mercurey ’99 and a Fixin ’99. The Mercurey was lovely and we gave it a high 8. The Fixin was very disappointing and only got a 6. I think this means we’ve now drunk all the pcs that are ready to drink now so guess this goal will have to go on hold until my trip to Burgundy in January.

Cooking

Nothing new, but I made 5 hour lamb yesterday and another terrine is in the oven as I type.

Leopard Towers

I’ve kept the flat reasonably clean this week and have been making an effort to deal with post as it comes in so that piles of crap don’t reappear, and to put my clothes away when I go to bed instead of leaving them lying around the place, ahem. The cheery candle and cheery tulips from Moose are making it even cheerier! I really like being in the Towers at the moment.

Exuberance is still awol, but the price of exuberance is the Gloomy Trap so I’ll settle for this current mood of mellow cheerfulness.

Major decluttering this week – I’ve even been drying the sink (I’m more Withnail than Flylady usually). I sorted c.100 CDs (demos, mostly, from back when people used to want to play with me :D ) and binned most of them. I also re-organised the kitchen shelves.

Lots of lovely local food from lovely local shops.

Lots of music: Bach mando – and I’ve fixed my chromatic harmonica (a gorgeous instrument I bought two years ago but couldn’t use because it buzzed; now it doesn’t). Have been playing the theme from Jean de Florette and trying to look bucolic… :D

The Open University digital photography is going well and I’m looking forward to the Economics course in Feb.

Saw 7 or 8 Bunuel films lately and was inspired by one of them (Diary of a Chambermaid, I think) to make some proper hot chocolate today: Green & Black’s 70%, a chilli, a vanilla pod, whole milk, local honey. Yum.

Watched Dr Strangelove this week and Hitchcock’s 39 Steps again.

Was drenched to the skin, literally, twice this week (too squally for umbrellas) and that was fun. I’d hate a life removed from the elements.

Read in the New Yorker about anthropologists’ differentiation of “honour” and “dignity”. Googled around and found some really useful stuff about shame. Am recalibrating.

Subscribed to the London Review of Books for a year – I enjoy the New Yorker and fancy something else a bit closer to home.

Not a bad week.

It’s been a great week!

Friends and family

Going well – had dinner with G on Sunday, went to a wine tasting on Wed and saw ACC and A, and had dinner with AM on Friday who I hadn’t seen for a while. Just spoke to parents who are fine but apparently the cats are very needy at the moment and are missing me. I’m missing them too! Coming up, a busy week: dinner with G tomorrow, a big wine tasting which all my family and AM are going to on Wed, then dinner with the elusive AB and some of her other friends on Thurs, Dark and Stormy Night with Moose on Fri and my brother’s 40th birthday lunch on Sunday. So lots to look forward to!

Work

I can’t believe what a turnaround it’s been. Last week I was feeling extremely unappreciated and had had a major row with my boss. This week he’s been much nicer and I’ve done the accounts with days to spare and have been enjoying myself tinkering with them to improve the format. I also got to have lunch with a senior colleague on Tues who dispensed useful advice. It feels as though things are on the up and I’m not dreading going into work tomorrow like I was last week!

Diet/healthinessfullllness

Ticking along, nothing much to report.

Exercise

Went to the gym on Tuesday morning which I was very pleased with myself for doing! Also did an hour’s walking yesterday and weights today. Planning roughly the same next week.

Reading

Finished the Rings of Saturn, a wonderful book, and am now reading Ghostwritten by David Mitchell which I’m enjoying a lot.

Piano

Coming along well – I can play the first two pages of Swipesy now so it’s just the last two sections to go. I’ve made a start on them and am quite confident I can learn them by Christmas.

Drawing

Did the picture which is currently my avatar. I enjoyed doing that yesterday!

Premier cru project

Nothing to report – I did drink a premier cru Puligny on Wed but G wasn’t there and being an ‘07 it was too young to rate anyway.

Cooking

Haven’t made anything new this week, but did feel like a domestic goddess today making chicken stock and petits pots extreme.

Self-maintenance

Had a very productive day today clearing out a lot of clutter, filing, cleaning, and doing a clothes audit which resulted in lots of things that I’ve either worn out or never worn being thrown out / taken to the charity shop. I also rediscovered a couple of things which are wearable that I’d managed to forget about, bonus! The flat is now clean and tidy and it feels great.

To sum up

Earlier in the year I was struggling to find anything positive to say here because I was feeling miserable and full of self-loathing. I’m relieved that that period is behind me and that right now I’m feeling content with my life… it’s not perfect, and there are still ups and downs, but it’s pretty damned good!

It’s been a week of ups and downs but I’ve been feeling quite serene today and although things aren’t perfect, in the grand scheme of things I don’t have a lot to complain about.

Friends and family

It’s been a really excellent week on this front. Had a brilliant time on Wednesday going up Big Ben with my family. The sense of anticipation as we waited at the top and then seeing the hammer rise and strike the giant bell was absolutely incredible. I’m also up-to-date with practically everyone else – the dinner with D and M last night went pretty well, things seem to be going well with G and have just called AB and am going to see her in a couple of weeks!

Work

Everything was ok until Thursday when a relatively minor disagreement was blown out of all proportion and turned into a more general bollocking, actually a Greatest Hits Bollocking as the chance was taken to rake over some ancient history too. This left me feeling angry and miserable, but I guess I just have to grow a thicker skin. I always knew this year and a half of transition (the longest handover in history?) would have its challenges and every day that passes is a day closer to the big day. Looking on the bright side, the good news is that I have permission to recruit a new minion, temporarily in the first instance, to tide us through the busy period, so that’s something to be grateful for. And next week I’m under chiefy’s orders to take another, very experienced colleague out for lunch and pick his brains about how to be a good finance director, which should be interesting.

Healthinessfulllllllness

A mixed bag too. Booze-consumption was lower than usual and I did intermittent fasting on Friday but then ruined it by eating biscuits, duh!

Exercise

I was full of grand ideas this week but I find that getting into work at 8.30 helps me get the day off to a gradual and less stressful start, but if I go to the gym first thing then I can’t get in until 9.00. Going today did make me feel great though, so I will try to go tomorrow and see how the rest of the week turns out. I’ve done quite a lot of walking this week (down to Westminster and back on Wednesday, and over to Marylebone and back yesterday) so that counts for something. I was also pretty pleased that climbing Big Ben didn’t present a major problem.

Reading

Finished the second Sherlock Holmes book, and am now re-reading The Rings of Saturn by WG Sebald which I’m enjoying very much. It’s an account of a walk he took along the Suffolk coast and he goes off on all sorts of tangents and tells historical anecdotes, and it’s like nothing else you’ve ever read, incredibly erudite yet very readable and down-to-earth.

Piano

This is coming along well. I have practised every day this week and am on to the second page of Swipesy now. Am hoping that I might have learned the whole thing by Christmas, which would give me two pieces to play to my parents during the cocktail hour.

Drawing

I drew the bonfire night picture for Zanna but haven’t been in the mood for doing anything else. I’ll definitely do some next weekend though.

Premier cru project

Nothing to report as we’ve run out of things drinking now, waiting for further stocks to arrive from Beaune… But we’re going to have a promising-looking 1985 Gigondas this evening.

Cooking

Made terrine again yesterday, looking forward to trying it this evening!

Maintenance

Cleaned the flat yesterday and used my new mop for the second time. It’s definitely making a difference. I also have a nice candle which I found in the supermarket for a quid, which has been cheering me up most evenings.

Making progress, making progress…

Work

I still get panicky at times, and I still find the Upsetting Person hard to deal with, but the success journal has made me realise that actually I do get a hell of a lot done every day. Am putting a case forward to the Big Cheeses that we need another person to provide some spare capacity and stay on top of some areas which currently I haven’t got time to do, and am not the right person to be doing it in any case. Big Phil is sympathetic so we’ll see what chiefy says tomorrow. Lord EP is visiting on Tues and I have a day off on Wed.

Social

There have been some excellent evenings recently, particularly dinner last Sunday and the champagne tasting on Wed. Have seen some other friends and emailed AB at last (thanks to agent Z), and my relationship with my sister-in-law is getting closer which I’m really happy about. Next week: it seems there’s a possibility of a feline visitor on Tuesday (!) and I’m going up Big Ben with my family on Wednesday, having dinner with Danger Girl on Thursday and seeing old school friends D and M on Saturday – so it will be an action-packed week!

Healthinessfullllllllness

Not getting anywhere diet-wise at the moment which is frustrating. Am going to plan each day in advance on Fitday in a bid to get back in control of this, although it’s hard when eating out. Otherwise my health is good. Sleep will be a priority this week.

Exercise

Went to the gym today and have set up goals for next week.

Piano

Coming along very well – have now learned Paragon Rag (although still wobbly on p.4) and have moved on to Swipesy Cakewalk so there’s a possibility I could have learned that by Christmas. Keeping it fun is the main thing.

Reading

Currently reading the 30th anniversary issue of the LRB and also Sherlock Holmes, which I’m enjoying a lot.

Drawing

Released the WiC video on youtube which was fun to do and received some nice comments – and some less favourable ones – thanks G, keeping it real ;) This is now on the back burner for the time being waiting for further inspiration to strike. I do have another project in mind but am not sure if I’ll get round to starting it this week.

Premier cru project

Back on track! ACC is bringing back 8 pcs next week and I’ve spent some time with G looking at the maps in the book. We realised that not all the vineyards marked on the map as pc are included in the list of pcs, so there are more than we realised. G has been standing over me making me put the additional ones onto the spreadsheet. Boring but necessary! He’s also putting together an order from another wine merchant so we’re going to have plenty to get stuck into over the next few months.

Writing

Nothing to report. Previously I was writing a letter-to-self but now I’ve reached the stage where I’ve managed to bore even myself ;) so haven’t felt any great need to return to it. Last week I came across something I’d written a month ago and could see that I’d moved on to some extent, so that was good.

Quite a good week, on the whole. Lots done.

Work

Better than last week, managed to be productive and deal with a couple of things that had been hanging over me, so feel more on top of things. Tomorrow H and I are on a charity tax course _{no yawning at the back} and the prospect of not going into the office has banished Sunday night blues. I’ll probably get a bad attack of Monday night blues instead ;)

Friends and family

Fab evening on Wed with G and assorted middle-aged men drinking obscure booze. Otherwise it has been quiet, but plans are in progress. I’m thinking a lot about this at the moment: who do I really like spending time with? why are there some friends who are hard work to engage with? what works and what doesn’t? why is it that with some people I always seem to be the one making the effort, and is it worth it?

.

Family are all fine. November is going to be a big family month as will see them at least 3 times in London, for the trip up Big Ben, a wine-tasting, and my brother’s 40th birthday lunch (can’t believe he’s 40 next month argh!). I was wondering about going home at some point but am seeing parents so much anyway that am not sure I will.

Healthinessfullllllness and exercise

Nothing much to report.

Reading

Finished Lord EP’s book about his solo transatlantic crossing, which I enjoyed despite knowing nothing about sailing. Also read most of the LRB and am in the middle of a book about personality which Moose has lent me. It’s really interesting although it’s telling me some things I don’t want to hear. More on this later in the week as I come to terms with it.

Cooking

Finally used the terrine dish Mum gave me by making a duck terrine yesterday. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be and looks incredible but I haven’t tried it yet, waiting for G to turn up shortly. I hope it’s nice because there’s a lot of it! Project Oatcake has been set up as a separate goal and I’ll probably embark on it next weekend.

Piano

This is coming along well. I’ve practised 3-4 hours this week and Paragon Rag is definitely getting there, and I’ve started the first page of Swipesy Cakewalk which has a lovely carefree tune. I love walking to work with it in my head.

Drawing

I unexpectedly sprang into action this week and bought a tablet which is like a pad with a pen which connects to the computer. It came with Art Rage software, so now I can produce silly cartoons ad infinitum. Have been enjoying myself enormously! The Wallow in Crap video will be coming to youtube soon. You have been warned! ;)

Generally, feeling more cheerful than I have done for some time.

Friends and family

It’s been a good week on this front. Highlights: triple arse and seeing CB and A on Thurs, several very enjoyable evenings with G, getting the new wine-tasting calendar from ACC, an invitation from M and a couple of messages from the elusive AB. Next week: am looking forward to a boozy dinner at the Savile on Wed and seeing TR and PB, whose company is always good for morale.

_sigh

Work

Argh. The office is cheery at the mo, which is great, but we’re also under a lot of pressure and H was off sick for 2 days. I’ve told Big Phil that I think we need another person and he was quite receptive to that – at the moment I find myself still doing things that someone else could do, and not having any time to step back and look at the big picture which I’m supposed to be doing. Glad I’m not gallivanting much next week as it means I can stay late if I need to _{have just realised this makes me sound completely tragic ;)}

Exercise

Did a very quick weights session on Mon, tai chi on Wed, and more weights and an hour of cardio this week. More of the same next week and I’d quite like to get up early and do intervals one day but will see how the sleep goes.

Healthinessfullllllllllness

Last week I was quite depressed about my post-holiday bulge. This week it disappeared surprisingly easily, despite several days which could not be described as healthfullllllll. So that was good! This week, more focus required.

Reading

Haven’t done much this week – I seem to be in the middle of several non-fiction books all at once which isn’t great. Made a start on a very interesting novel this afternoon!

Writing

I wrote 5 pages this week, 4 on Monday and another one today. To be continued…

Piano

It’s very gratifying to be able to see the progress I’m making with this. Did about 3 hours practice this week and discovered yesterday that I can almost play the second page of Paragon Rag without the music. Page 3 is almost there. Page 4 needs work, but it’s coming on. Had a bash at the first page of Swipesy today – looking forward to learning that.

Premier cru project

This is back on, yay! and in the last week we’ve had two 10s! a 1988 Gevrey-Chambertin and a 2007 red Chassagne-Montrachet. I’ve also typed up all my notes, some of which had been lying around since June, so feels good to get it up to date. We had a lovely time last night poring over an auction catalogue, pair of wine geeks that we are ;)

Self-maintenance

I haven’t done anything notable to maintain myself, but I did clean the flat yesterday and got rid of some rubbish.

Sleep

Had two awful nights worrying about things in the middle of the night but it seems to have abated. The moral of the story is to stay away from alcohol on weeknights as much as possible.

Overall, ticking along I guess, but exuberance is still AWOL.

I actually feel like writing this entry! A week away from the Zoo, some serious thinky-time and discussing things with G have contributed to a renewed sense of purpose.

I’m increasingly aware of the way I waste time in the evenings and weekends. I sit around aimlessly surfing on the internet, drinking far too much most evenings and moping, instead of doing something constructive with my life. Self-loathing, never far below the surface, is creeping up on me again and I have to do something about it. There’s more to me than this and I need to get my shit together so I can end the year feeling better about things. So between 8 and 10 each evening I ought to be able to spend time doing something off this list.

On to the main stuff….

Family and friends

Had a week in Suffolk with my parents, brother and sister-in-law. It was very enjoyable and we all got on well. Although my mother hates Suffolk for historical reasons she managed to keep the lid on it most of the time. Dad was really happy with Head Trip which I gave him as a surprise present. It was fantastic to spend serious time with my sister-in-law who’s one of my favourite people, easygoing and cheerful with a great sense of humour, just lovely to be with. I also managed not to be horrible to my brother which I’ve had a tendency to be in the past, in the whole reverting to childhood thing, so that was definite progress.

Have just had a nice weekend here and saw G last night and today – we’re getting on well and it’s great that we can discuss everything and laugh about ridiculous things which I’m too embarrassed to share here. ACC came round for lunch today, which was very nice, there were no head injuries this time and we have plans to go to Burgundy in January!

This week: having coffee with Moose and Cate on Thurs followed by welcome drinks for CB! Also: must see about going to see Enron with L&A, email RJ and text the elusive AB who I haven’t heard from for ages and I miss her.

And a blank space goes here.

Work

Nothing to report as haven’t been at work, hurrah! Not feeling unduly apprehensive about tomorrow.

Healthinessfulllllllllness

Majorly up the creek this week owing to far too many pints of Broadside, fish and chips etc. This is going to be a big focus for the next few weeks.

Exercise

We did a fair bit of walking in Suffolk but otherwise this has fallen by the wayside. Am determined to do a couple of sessions of weights this week, tai chi on Wed and then an hour of light cardio on Sun.

Reading

In Suffolk I read Kate Atkinson’s “When Will There be Good News?” which was great, and then “White Tiger”, pretty good. Need to work out what to read next, but in the meantime there’s the LRB.

Piano

Did some on Friday and yesterday and now have the first page of Paragon Rag by heart and am well on the way to mastering the second page. The third and fourth pages aren’t all that difficult so am hoping I might have the whole thing down by Xmas.

Cornish flamenco drums

Absolutely crap. No progress at all. Wait a minute, Cornish flamenco drums don’t exist! ;)

Self-maintenance

Inspired by Cate, this is going to be a major thing in October. I need to go to the dentist and I need to get my eyes tested.

Drawing

I have a project in mind here, inspired by brooster. More to be revealed in due course!

Sleep

Am tired, despite having a week off, so am determined to get a solid 8 hours every night which realistically means going to bed at 10.30 except the weekend.

Writing

I’m not going to do Nanowrimo this year but that shouldn’t stop me writing anyway and perhaps if I can choose my subject matter carefully, it could be cathartic. Or I could start keeping a journal, again that might be both a useful writing exercise and help me get perspective about things. Need to give that some thought.

So, onward and upward for Q4!

The last month or two really flew by. swoooosh Loads of commitments, things happening at work, I can’t remember when was the last time I just buried myself in a book for a whole day (or at least a whole afternoon). A friend commented that I’m very lucky if my main complaint is over-active social life, but honestly, at this point, I’m just counting the days until my days (especially weekends!) are all mine again. Plus I have two days to come up with a perfect outfit to attend a wedding, at a time when my shopping mojo is at an all-times low. Meh. Let’s get on with things.

1) paperwork – Ahhh, it’s so nice not having to worry about the legality of my being in any given country at any given time. The last time I went to visit my parents, I didn’t even have to search for my passport, as my ID was enough to cross the border – I just threw some clothes in a bag and drove away! What a lovely feeling. I managed to accomplish most of other, smaller goals here, except switching banks. Too much of a hassle and I’d rather wait another year or two to see if the economy is going to collapse anyway. :P My bank does get on my nerves oh so very much, like randomly making mandatory all kinds of services I’ve never wanted to use. Grrr.

2) health – Mysterious joint aches still mysterious, weight gain stopped but not reversed. I did manage to train myself to a different eating schedule (main meal after work, not during lunch break like before), so I don’t snack all the time anymore. I’m doing something meditation-like most days even if it’s just a few minutes and reading about stress and relaxation techniques. I’m not doing much running (due to mysterious joint aches, MJA from now on :P), but I’m starting an aerobics class today. Will I survive? Will my unfitness leave me collapsed on the floor, gasping for air? Will MJA show themselves and convert me into an arthritic old lady for the next 10 days? Stay tuned for another episode of “Getting back to fitness with Vex!”
Oh yeah, I scheduled my regular checkups during Oct/Nov. 4 different doctors! I feel like a hypochondriac. _{No, wait, I am one! Ah, it’s ok then. :)}

3) everything else – I’ve moved the rest of my stuff to my boyfriend’s place. Hm… Not much else done. I don’t feel like accomplishing anything, I feel like nesting. I want to garden and knit and cook and bake and clean and make my home beautiful and above all snuggle. I don’t feel like going to meetings, typing up reports, negotiating with bloody infuriating stupid customers, negotiating with bloody infuriating stupid bosses, worrying that I’ve missed something if no catastrophe comes up after 2 consecutive days of calm, negotiating with occasionally infuriating boyfriend about home improvements, trying to juggle friends, family, work, sleep, basic hygiene and food without letting any of that fall out. :P

So there. I just have to survive till the end of the year. It’ll be better next year: 1 month unpaid leave, 1 month paid leave, Tunisia, probably Corsica again, London at least once and maybe Barcelona. Q4, you’d better behave yourself, I’m not going to tolerate any more of this Q3-like dumping-of-things-to-do-on-my-head. ;)