one thing that helps me get over abuse, bad memories, PTSD, anxiety, panic, depression, terror, etc. is to talk about it.

Talk about it to crisis lines, safe environment support groups, close friends, even new friends, kind people, just talk to anyone about it, talk and talk.

Talking just lets it all out. You had to keep all of this a secret for so long. Feels good to talk. All this craziness and demons in your head, taking over your body and making you weak. Talking to another person who understands makes such a difference it’s not even funny.

Thanks to every sweet, friendly voice I’ve ever met on the phone, in person, or a sweet friendly face I’ve seen across the room. 6 months ago

i think what happens when you are attacked is that you lose your power. that person temporarily takes your power away from you. They make you feel powerless and you never know when they may attack again, and this leaves you shaky and nervous.

When I feel attacked all the energy just leaves my body. I feel completely defeated.

You have to get your power back. And also the question of why? why did that person choose me? In order to find this out you have to know that person – this is not always possible. You have to find some way to get your control back. Control of the situation.

One way I used to do gain control was to LOG everything. I would write down the date and time and what happened. Then write down everything that person did to intimidate me after that, date and times.

This way I can start seeing the pattern of that person’s behavior. It gives me a sense of control. It’s on paper. Not a “mad” “intimidating terrifying” person living in your head. 6 months ago

i’m feeling better everyone. my anxiety has subsided. 6 months ago

Today I had a horrible PTSD episode. I met a man who called me a racist and started yelling at me and telling me to get away from him.

He kept trying to stare me down for a full 50 min. at the gym while I was on the cardio machine all because I almost ran into him ONE time!

I got mad and didn’t stare back at him and refused to let him intimidate me. Then after I got off the machine, he BUMPED into me on purpose, shoulder checked me (like a football player).

Later he kept staring at me as I did exercises.

I just called a crisis line and spoke to someone about it. If I hadn’t spoken to her or logged it on 43T, I would be having a major panic attack right now and even suicidal thoughts.

I am so afraid of men, especially those that try to intimidate me, it is not even funny.

First of all I am not racist and I don’t like how he assumed that I was. 2nd of all why is he trying to stare me down and thinks I am nasty because I stand up for myself? 6 months ago

-I did have an episode 2 days ago. It did bother me for hours. A therapist told me to not avoid these situations. The more you avoid it, the more afraid you become of them. He told me to go ahead and put myself in those situations “exposure therapy,” but really become aware of my body when I am going through it.

I guess take deep breaths, shake it off, walk around and get your body energy and power back.

I think immediately after it happens, I need to journal it, then remind myself that this person cannot hurt me and I am okay. Then just keep repeating it, like a mantra.

I need to process it somehow because these episodes tend to affect me for hours.

-Today, I had another small episode! I am not kidding you guys. You guys are probably laughing! Its something I deal with daily. Welcome to my life. This one was not so bad, I tried to think about it logically and thought about what I would do next time I saw this person. 6 months ago

Dear God, give me courage,
for perhaps I lack it more than anything else.

I need courage before men/women against their threats
and against their seductions.

I need courage to bear unkindness,
mockery, contradiction.

I need courage to fight against the devil,
against terrors and troubles, temptations,
attractions, darkness and false lights,
against tears, depression, and above all fear.

I need Your help, dear God.

Strengthen me with Your love and Your grace.

Console me with Your blessed Presence
and grant me the courage to persevere
until I am with You forever in heaven. 6 months ago