compile a 100-things-about-me list

This is one of the stories my mother likes to tell about me as a child every once in a while. To prove that I am a little strange. Apparently as a little kid I never had a wish. I never wanted a specific food, or a specific toy, or even candy in the supermarket. I was ambivalent to all those things. My parents actually grew worried after some years. This went on until I was almost five. And then, all of a sudden, I wanted the Playmobil Pirate Boat. And it had to be THAT exact toy, nothing different or similar. My parents drove all over the place to find it because they really wanted to make my first wish come true.
Funny thing is, I am still like my four year old self in a way. Toward many, many things I am more or less ambivalent. They just don’t matter to me enough. That doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion, I just wouldn’t fight for those small things, I would always let someone else have their way.
But if I stumble upon that Pirate Boat, I will fight for it more stubbornly than anyone else I know. Because I know it will be worth it – or at least I believe it will be. 2 weeks ago

I love relaxing in sauna

Wood heated is best. But I like the easiness of electric saunas. And I love that we have a own sauna! I would find it very hard to live in country where are no saunas.

Sauna really relaxes you and cleans you better than just taking a shower. 4 weeks ago

I always vote in elections

Never missed one after I turned 18. I see it as a duty. And a privilege that not everyone have in this world (sadly). 1 month ago

I don’t like flying

I enjoy a lot traveling, but I can’t stand airplanes. Getting up and down is the worst part of it. Small planes that they have in flights inside Europe are worst. The planes between continents weren’t that awful (though sitting in plane 12 hours wasn’t nice).

And I often think about how much the planes pollute and I feel bad doing it. 1 month ago

I feel that new year is always a fresh start

Which is funny cos it’s just a change of date, nothing really magically happens. But especially this year, I welcomed the new year very happily. I feel relieved somehow for the date changing. I feel that once again everything is possible and I feel that I have more energy. Last year was a failure in many ways so I am determined to make this year my year, a personal success.

I want to stay optimistic and believe in brighter future. I will dare myself to do something that I never had before. Challenge myself. Be the best me I can possibly be. Do something good and meaningful.

Wish me luck!

EDIT: Wind of Change could go very well with this. 1 month ago

If I had started writing when I first decided I wanted to write, I would have been writing for roughly 12 years in 2012. As it is, I’ve only started seriously writing this year, which only counts for about 6mos. 1 month ago

I would very much love to travel to lots of different places, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Australia, Germany, Russia, and so forth. Though I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever really get to go as my husband does not like to do the tourist thing and I don’t have any friends around me I could go with. 1 month ago

(Work in Progress)

76. I’ve owned my own pool table for 10+ years, and it’s embarrassing how bad I am at shooting pool. (Although with the recent move, I can’t take the pool table with me).

77. I’ve been in love three times. The first time we married, but then fell out of love (as cliche’ as that sounds), so it ended in divorce. It was an amicable split, but involved some emotional pain (as mentioned in a different post), and a huge hit to my ego. The second time, I didn’t realize I was in love until after we ended it. She’s still my “great white buffalo.” [“Hot Tub Time Machine” reference :)] The third time, I fell in love with a pathological liar. Um..yeah…that didn’t end well.

78. Even though I’m a terrible housekeeper, I’m an organization freak. Everything has a place, and it belongs in that place. If it’s somewhere else, it’ll drive me nuts until I put it away.

79. The heaviest I ever weighed was 198 pounds. I currently weigh 167 pounds. I’m reasonably happy with my current weight, but perhaps I should shoot for 160.

80. I can be a bit of a perfectionist.

81. I seldom ask for help.

82. I’m pretty sure I suffer from depression. I did take something for it for a short time, but it didn’t seem to do anything for me.

83. Sometimes I really hate my job. But, I love the people I work for and with. I’d feel guilty if I left. Besides…I think I’m at the point where there is no way I could find another job that pays as well as this one, or has the same perks.

84. Sometimes I hate my life. Sometimes I’m ambivalent about it. Sometimes it’s okay. I honestly can’t recall the last time I loved life.

85. 1 month ago

1-25

1-When I was a child I wanted to be a director and photographer when I grew up.

2-On days that I work I drink about 2 or 3 XL coffees to make it through the day. Somehow, if I’m not working 1 normal cup will do.

3-I dropped out of University because I couldn’t see the point of studying a subject I disliked, couldn’t use post-graduation and becoming more and more indebt for. However, I plan to finish my degree someday when I have the money to spare.

4-I am allergic to cats

5-Speaking of allergies- I have a mild sun allergy. In the summer my skin breaks out in these weird bumps. They usually go away if I don’t see the sun for long periods of time, or in the winter. It is a hassle because of my favorite hobby

6-I love walking. I could walk for hours. I try to walk every day I can at my local woods/park.

7-I have a tattoo on my back of a waterlily that I love, but still wish I did not get.

8-I hate commuting on the TTC but kind of have a fear of driving.

9-I have an intolerance to eggs and full-fat dairy products

10-I love living in the city, but sometimes I wish I could move back to the country. Ideally, I’d live in both places.

11-I am always disheartened by how rude people can be in this city I live in. I try to have manners, and don’t understand how so many people can lack the most basic common courtesies of our society.

12-My favorite meal would probably have to be bean salad with lots chopped vegetables, lemon juice, cilantro with either chili spices, chipotle chilies, or Indian chana spice, yum!!

13-Most people consider me a Pagan because I choose to believe in both a God and Goddess to represent the higher power and give it balance.

14-I love old Hollywood movies

15-I also love Big Band music.

16-Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era

17-Part of the reason I moved to the big city was to be a part of and enjoy the arts more freely, however like so many dreams, that never happened.

18-I believe in magic, but somehow never felt it was at my disposal to wish and hope and think miracles could happen to me.

19-My Father was American. I constantly regret not my parents not having me get dual citizenship and wish I had it now.

20-I own way to many books for someone who rarely finds time to read. I have about 200+ books. I love books though, and try to read at least a book a month.

21-I procrastinate too much, which is probably why I have no time to read

22-I day dream a lot, but I consider it essential to my being

23-My friends consider me to be old-fashioned and wholesome- but eccentric. Whatever that means

24-When I really want something I go for it without hesitation and go for it until I succeed- no matter how many times I fail. I taught myself how to swim and ride a bike as a child with the same persistence.

25-Unfortunately, these days I am soo confused about what I want that this characteristic hasn’t benefited me at all. I know it will someday though. When I solve this problem.

26-50

26-I eat mostly vegetarian. I don’t really like meat, but once in a blue moon I will get a craving for meat. Usually fish or turkey!

27-I make a really great tomato sauce.

28-I have a fear of things that buzz.

29-I love children, but am still on the fence as to whether or not I’ll ever have my own.

30-I love pink nail polishes.

31-I couldn’t live without mascara and a touch of blush. I’ve gotten so use to wearing it, that if I go a day without it I feel naked. So much so I have clear mascara for my days off when I don’t want to do the whole shebang.

32-I feel I need to wear blush because I am so pale. There have been days I haven’t worn blush and people tell me I look sickly, lol. But, I’m not the palest person I know either!

33-When I was younger I wanted nothing more than to have snow white skin and dark hair like Liv Tyler and Dita Von Teese. I dyed my hair dark, it looked horrible on me. I also found out that the foundations they use only work for me when I have a tan. So I’m technically am pale like them. That gave me something to think about.

34-Thankfully, I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin now. I can’t imagine not looking like me and having my own look.

35-I believe riding boots are the best type of footwear. However, I have a wide variety of foot wear for practically. Such as flats for work.

36-I love the looks of flats and heels but they kills my feet. My feet are always swollen and sore since I started my new job. I can’t stand this. It wasn’t like this when I was allowed to wear my riding type style of boot to work at my previous job!!

37-After having to dress up in flats, and a suit everyday for the past month and report to a boss and deal with such a wide range of people in various types of moods, I realized I’m more of the entrepreneur type. I have great ideas, and would strive better under my own schedule, wardrobe, and such. I basically did my own thing and had my own schedule at my old job. I miss it.

38-So, I’m saving up money to start a business while I begin thinking of which idea I should pursue.

39-I am also trying to get myself to save up for a vacation. I want to go to Georgia.

40-Onions make me cry when I cut them. It’s like an automatic response. This is sad, because I love onions in a lot of my food.

41- Sometimes I get frustrated over my finances and wish I was rolling in cash. However, at the end of the day, I have no desire to be rich or famous. I just want to be comfortable and happy. No daily shopping sprees for me!

42-However, someday I hope to have a pair of diamond earrings from Tiffany’s. But I think a lot of girls want that.

43-If I had my license my dream vehicle would be a truck.

44-I’d like to own a husky when I am settled down.

45-I hope to have my life in order, and be settled down by the time I am 30. Only 5.5 years away!

46-Even though I am not sure I want to have kids, I always dream and fantasize about being 70/80 and having my children, and their children all around the family table- a large family all together. Happy and joyful and of course surrounded by good food!

47-I think phone companies charge way too much for cell phone plans, but I can’t seem to convince myself to get a cheaper plan either- I’d pay almost the same for a lot less. It’s ridiculous.

48-I dislike following the news because of how depressing it is, but I follow headlines and try to read a few articles here and there.

49-Everytime Toronto has had an earthquake (or after effects of it) I’ve always been out of the city.

50-I have a fear of things such as natural disasters and flying. However, when faces in those situations I am the one outside watching the skies during a tornado watch, or when I fly I have to have the window seat. I’m scared and panicked, but still need to see everything rather than hide.

51-75
51-I’d like to say I don’t fear dying. I don’t think I do. I do however, fear a painful death.

52-I’ve been trying to read the Lord of the Rings trilogy for about ten years. I’ve never finished.

53-However, the hobbit is one of my favorite books, lol.

54-I like candles and sometimes just like to do things by candle light.

55-I don’t really like being wet. Even after showers- I have to at least blow-dry the hair around my head then tie up the rest so I don’t feel it. I just dislike the feeling, and don’t really like swimming either.

56-I once spent a year living out of two suitcases and didn’t really miss any of my items I left home. I bought some things of course, but mainly just some new clothes and necessities and a few books.

57-I recently finally got all those things I left behind from storage and wonder how I collected soo much stuff I simply don’t need.

58-I’m one of those people who love sleeping yet can’t spend all day sleeping out of fear of missing something.

59-Xena the Warrior Princess was one of my role models growing up.

60-My sister and I use to wake up at midnight and eat nutella sandwhiches to watch Most Haunted in highschool. I miss those days!

61-99% of the time my left knee aches something bad happens. It’s weird. I half wonder it is because I’ve grown to expect something to happen. But I’m doing an experiment to see.

62- Last year I had a premonition I was going to be shot. Everyone thought I was being hysterical and overly paranoid. But I had this feeling for over a month after the dreams. Then one day I was on the bus home and my inner voice told me to get off the bus- about 2 stops early- closer to the back entrance of the building I lived at- which I never took due to lots of snow. I was confused, yet I listened to the urgency of the feeling and got off. Two days later I found out there was a shooting right at the time and place I was suppose to be when I got off the bus at the regular stop. Luckily, no one was hurt. However, I always wonder what would have happened if I had got off there.

63-I’m Irish decent on both sides.

64-If I could be 18 again I would have studied Anthropology and something artsy.

65-Someday I want to take road trips across Canada and the United States and just explore and see how other people live.

66-My love animal watching

67-My favorite animals are the wolf and the deer

68-I love flowers and plants and am planning out how to grow some herbs indoors just to be around greenery in these winter months.

69-I have weak nails. No matter why I do they break, chip and look grungy. Even when I paint them. But I won’t get fake nails. I just keep trying with these ones, lol.

70-I love sweaters, especially cardigans.

71-The only jewelry I really wear is earrings

72-I don’t like lipstick, I find every shade looks fake on me

73-The skin on my face is quite sensitive. I can never find a skin product I am not allergic to or it.

74-I love bonfires

75-I love looking at and studying trees, especially throughout the various seasons! :D

76-100

76- Fall is my favorite season

77- My favorite shows are; The Golden Girls, Xfiles, UFO Hunters, and Anthony Bourdains No Reservations

78- I use to go partying every weekend, now I rarely drink. Tea is my new vodka! I just find it makes me feel so toxic, polluted and I like feeling clean. Coffee is bad enough lol.

79- I love to take photographs but I draw very poorly.

80- My favorite single is Tori Amos

81- I try to drink 3L of water a day

82- I am a very sensitive person. If people are grumpy I feel it, etc.

83- Working in retail was probably the hardest job I ever had. People aren’t joking when they call it a ‘slave job’. You bust your butt for your money and dealing with endless negative circumstances is draining. But it’s rewarding when you tough it out like warrior!

84. I am horrible at picking up languages. I’ve tried countless times and have only learned a few words that I can recognized and recall. Most I forget if I stop studying for like 2 days.

85. I write almost daily. Hopefully I didn’t say that one already… running out of things to type in lol

86. I’ve deleted my facebook 5 times, only to end up back on a few months later after each time from friends bugging me to get it back.

87. I am good at procrastinating.

88. Everytime I make a to-do list it never gets done. If I don’t I find I am more productive. I find it unusual.

89. I like to collect inspirational quotes.

90. I buy and read a lot of self-help type books but rarely actual use the advice. :/

91. I’ve always wanted a bamboo plant, but still haven’t bought myself one.

92. I use to have 8 piercings.

93. I like receiving post cards in the mail :)

94. When I was teenager I was quite over-weight and at one point reached 225lbs. At that point, at 17, told myself I’d be a size 8 by the time I was 25. It took almost a long time but now I am 24 at 150lbs (most days) and a size 6 (jeans) and 8 in dress pants. It is probably one of my biggest accomplishments considering I love to eat, drink and don’t like exercising much (beyond walking, I love walking).

95. My next goal is to live a more active and healthy life style by the time I’m 30. Heehee!

96. I’ve never been in love. Yet somehow I still believe one day i will fall madly in love and I’ll get married and live happily ever after.

97. I still wish on shooting stars

98. I can be quite shy with new people

99. I like to write short stories in the macabre style, like Edgar Allen Poe, and H.P Lovecraft.

100. I’m bad a saving money. 1 month ago

I have very poor sense of direction

Which is why I get lost easily. I need to pay a lot of attention to my surroundings for not to get lost. I really should get a phone with GPS.

I don’t usually stress though when I realize that I am lost. I usually always will find my way back anyway. 1 month ago

We don’t have any xmas decorations

Simply cos of the # 85 here. But I kinda wish that we would have xmas lights. I wonder if it’s too late to go buy some…

Right now it’s raining. Not snow, just plain water. So I don’t have any xmas spirit. 1 month ago

When I was a younger I wanted to win a Nobel prize

Or be a part of a group that win. I wanted to be a famous in certain circles of people. Like Ilkka Hanski. The name doesn’t say anything to most of the people, but every biologist in Finland and awfully many ecologists in the world know who he is and why he is famous. I never wanted to be a singer or movie star.

I still would like to be a scientist. Do something great. Be respected. I am pretty sure though that I won’t ever win a Nobel prize. 1 month ago

I’ve got 6 tattoos, I want 5 more. 1 month ago

Milk (still drink it)
Shellfish (my throat closes up)
Dial soap (I break out in hives, and they turn into bruises)
Products from The Body Shop (they make me itch BIGTIME)
And probably a few more things… 2 years ago

51. I mostly wear jeans and short-sleeve button-up shirts. I really dislike “dress clothes,” especially dress shoes and ties. In fact…I’ve managed to successfully get rid of all my ties.

52. I drink far too much soda.

53. I have two cats. They get plenty of food and love, but you’d never know it by looking at them. They act like I never feed them, nor give them any attention.

54. I have amazing parents. They’ve done so much for me.

55. I can’t explain it, but somehow I kinda like being singled-out, but at the same time I hate being made the center of attention. I get embarrassed if someone specifically singles me out for some reason, but the other day, I actually got somewhat jealous when two guys showed up to my regular yoga class. I’m so used to being the only guy now, that it’s kind of like a badge of honor, and these guys made me feel like I was no longer special. I know…stupid…but, such is life, I guess.

56. I enjoy the theatre. I’ve seen a few shows here and there, and there’s just something about a live performance that adds to the experience. Now if someone would just write a science fiction/fantasy play…THAT would be AWESOME!!

57. I work for a commercial construction management company. Our niche market is Native American Casinos.

58. I enjoy yoga. Much more than I thought I would when I decided to try it out.

59. I wear contacts. I’m too afraid to get Lasik. I know it would likely make my life easier, but I keep thinking about the possibilities of mistakes. Right now, wearing contacts is a pain in the ass, but being blind would be devastating.

60. I’m a “worrier.” I have my Mom to thank for that one.

61. I don’t drink coffee. Most people seem to think that makes me weird. Personally, I think there are many OTHER things that make me weird, and not drinking coffee is the least of them.

62. I’m a “Star Wars” fan (like most men). But at some point in my life, apparently all my friends and family came to the conclusion that I am obsessed with all things “Star Wars.” So if I receive a gift from someone, it’s almost always “Star Wars” related. I have no idea when or why this happened.

63. I’ve been told by more than a few women that I’m a really good kisser.

64. I’m a horrible house-keeper. I hate dusting. I’m terrible at keeping the bathrooms cleaned, and vacuuming sucks (yes, I actually went there….LOL).

65. When it comes to women, I go through phases. I get lonely, so I start dating. I find someone to date regularly, then something happens to make it blow up in my face, and I swear I’ll never date again. Then within a few months, I get lonely, and the cycle starts again.

66. I sleep in the buff. I can’t stand wearing pajamas or sweats. The legs ride up on me and get really uncomfortable.

67. I eat out a lot. I’m not convinced it’s cheaper to make your own meals like many people think. Besides, I’m not much of a cook, and not a big fan of cooking for one at any rate.

68. Sometimes OCD strikes me. I’ll KNOW I locked the door, but still need to go back and check it. Or, I’ll know I closed the garage door, but end up driving around the block, just so I can pass the house to make sure it is closed. Sometimes I’ll push the “lock” button on my truck’s key-fob three or four times just to MAKE SURE it’s locked. Other times, I’ll lock the door, and be fine. I have no explanation for this inconsistency.

69. I go through lip-balm pretty fast. My lips always feel dry, so I’m constantly putting something on them. My current lip-balm of choice is Cherry Carmex (I just put some on as I finished typing this).

70. I own a lot of tools. My Dad says if I stopped going to Home Depot, they’d probably go out of business.

71. I have green eyes.

72. I’m a procrastinator.

73. I hate shopping. I’d rather just buy something the first time I see it. However, if I’m shopping with someone else’s money (like if I’m buying something for work), I usually OVER SHOP.

74. I’m a tease. But in a good way….really….I swear. ;)

75. I’ve been hit by red-light-runners twice. Both times the vehicle I was driving was totaled. Hmm…wonder why my back and shoulders are so messed up? 1 month ago

27. I adore my baby cat.

28. I don’t get along with my immediate family.

29. I have a dozen friends in my real Facebook account... and only really speak to two of them. I also have a deactivated account where a bunch of unwanted people are gathered there (usually family members).

30. I love understanding several languages: it truly enriches my life to be able to enjoy arts and entertainment in more than one language.

Languages just open the gates to wonderful cultural territories.

31. I love watching figure skating.

32. Following hockey is both mandatory and fun. I’m Canadian, can you tell?

33. I have never been ecstatically happy: There was a Japanese movie where paradise consisted of filming the happiest moment of your life and have it replay eternally for you. I can think of no such moments for myself.

34. I almost exclusively live inside my head: It’s both a strength and a weakness. Dealing with my imagination is so much easier than real life. 2 months ago

This has been sitting in my goals for about a month. It’s a fairly easy goal, in fact it’d probably take me about 30 minutes. I’ll start tomorrow. Don’t know why of all things I’ve been putting aside this! 2 months ago

My favorite stories of my family’s history

My great granddad (my grandma’s dad) used to go to USA to earn money. He walked for something like a week to reach the port and took a ship to England and from there to America. Once his ship from Finland to England was late and he missed the next ship. That ship was Titanic! It was a good luck that he missed it, cos he would have been traveling in 3rd class and most likely wouldn’t have survived from that trip. My grandma wasn’t born yet.

My great granddad would have wanted to take his whole family to USA, but then USA stopped taking immigrants and he stayed at Finland after all.

If either of those events would have happened, there wouldn’t be me. In the first case my grandma wouldn’t have ever born and in the second my grandma wouldn’t have met my granddad and thus my mother wouldn’t be here.

Another story that I like to wonder is that my dad worked at Germany in the 70’s. He was there for six months or so and he was already married to my mother. My mum stayed at Finland. When my dad came home he took a job from city that became my birth town. On that day they moved, my dad got a call that they would have wanted to hire him and ask him get back to Germany. And this time my mother would have gone with him too. But since they already have moved, my dad refused and thus my life was settled in Finland.

I like to wonder though, if that call would have become a day earlier. What our lives in Germany would have been like? How much being Finnish affects to my personality? Would I still be me if I had born in Germany? And would I have met Antti there?

It’s funny to think how choices my ancestors made affects my life as well. 2 months ago

3. I can walk on my hands. I used to be able to walk a long distance until I got this bump on my right wrist…now it hurts if I hand walk for too long. But I can still do it! 2 months ago

2. I have manners. I say no sir, yes mam. I open doors for others. I say thankyou and please. What happened to manners these days? 2 months ago

I don’t much care about xmas

I don’t like the food that much. I don’t care about the religious aspect. And I don’t like the over consumption that it causes. Don’t like much the decoration (all the elfs and santas here and there makes me puke). And I don’t like that trees are cut down for this. I don’t like that much the carols.

I do like spending time with people I care about. I like candles and lights that lights the dark winter. I do like gifts when they are bought by care and they don’t need to be material: take me to diner and movie or give me a gift card for massage etc. is great. But I like gifts around the year, so no need to get me anything “just cos it’s xmas”.

Last year we didn’t celebrite xmas at all. Instead we did something completely different with friends. Cos I had informed that I don’t celebrite xmas, I didn’t get much presents either. :D This year we probably will be just home by three of us (me, A. and the cat). It’s only a weekend off so I don’t much feel like going anywhere. 2 months ago

I’m quite pale

The sun never catch my skin too much and I don’t even like sunbathing. And I sunburn easily. That’s why I like sometimes using self tanning lotions. Or more like that Garnier’s summerbody lotion that has a little tanning ingredient. I like to keep it natural. 2 months ago

Twilight is the worst book I have ever finished

It’s actually unbelievable that I did finish it. But what surprises me more is that it’s a bestseller and it didn’t end by one book. I can’t believe that author wrote more of that shit and people read it. I only read the first book and that was enough. And wasted my time with that. 2 months ago

Yep, I do. When I was in high school I dyed my whole head pink, twice. And for my 25th birthday I dyed a huge chunk of my hair pink. I love it. I don’t think I could go back to having non-pink hair… Not anytime soon anyways. 2 months ago

When I die, I want to be cremated.

It would be such an insult to put me rotten in a hole on the ground in cemetery. And I don’t want a priest to say anything in my funerals.

But then again, I am dead and I don’t much care what happens to me then. But still, that would be respecting my remains to burn me. And if I have organs that could be recycled, please be free to do so. That would make me happy, if I wouldn’t be dead and actually know about that. But don’t take my organs when I am still alive, that wouldn’t please me.

I don’t believe in after life. Once we are dead, we are gone. Though it would be great to believe in souls and reincarnation, but seriously, I don’t think that’s real. 2 months ago