keep my relationship loving and healthy

I don’t know what I could have done different. I don’t know how I could have been better. Today, I found out my boyfriend has slept with his ex about 5 times since we started dating. He claims it is not when we were exclusive. So does he get off based on a technicality? He may not have been exclusive to me but there is no one else I would have wanted. I would never sleep with two people in the same time of my life. Of course, I found out through my doctor who informed me I have been infected with Clamydia. Wow. I did my best to make this relationship great and all I got was this Clamydia. I don’t know what to do. This relationship was the most healthy and loving that I have ever been a part of. Do I let him off because all he wanted was “different, meaningless sex”? He says he would never do it if he is committed to me. But what was so different about October to November? Does he really care if I decide to just leave? I love him.

...making his birthday as special as possible makes you happier than your own birthday!

I hate it when I am being a bitch over (almost) nothing.

I plan to do something with CR he really enjoys. He likes to play Magic the Gathering (I know…a big kid) and I think it’s ok. So next time we see each other I’ll suggest playing MtG :-)

And I broke his cereal bowl the other day. I plan on getting him a new one. I want it to be huge and maybe I can decorate it a little, too …

I make a point of telling him something that is wonderful about him.

My husband wants me to game with him. He even got me a membership. I’m not much into this, but I can do it because it makes him happy and it’s such a little thing so I’m not selfish.

So I’m making a commitment to do this at least a half-hour a day for now.

One of the greatest gifts a person can give to another is “listening.”

Niecy Nash said something in an episode of Clean House that struck me in the heart. She advised a constantly-fighting couple that in order to listen well, we must not anticipate what the other person is saying AND we must not be formulating in our minds what we’re going to say.

I am SO guilty of that! HB listens to my senseless chatter with a smile on his face, yet I interrupt him day in and day out. I will work on this enthusiastically this week.

1. He’s spectacularly good at finances
2. He’s the most clean and organized person I know
3. He happily accepts the responsibility of organizing me
4. The cats are his furkids too
5. His affections for Frosted Flakes at midnight
6. He spoils me with beautiful clothes
7. He flies my mom out to visit us… from the opposite side of the globe!!!
8. He’s really patient with me and my silly 2-month fads
9. He’s a two-finger typer
10. He doesn’t think I’m weird when I dance crazily down the hall
11. He pushes me to do better and be better – not because he thinks I should be better, but because he believes I can do better
12. He races home to me every night!!!
13. He laughs at my dorky jokes… And joins in them too!
14. He loves my cooking
15. He couldn’t keep his paws off me when I was fat, and a man who finds his woman sexy even when overweight, well, is a KEEPER!

SecondAvenue inspired me with her post how stale a relationship can be after some time. What happened to the wooing stage? What happened to the “rush” and the exhilaration that comes with every call and touch? When did I stop spending hours in front of a mirror before letting him even take a glimpse of me?

HB is so sweet. He loved me when I was overweight and he still loves me now. I love how his eyes widen when I wear certain clothes today just as they did when I had a hideous muffin top. When a man loves you no matter what shape you are (even naked!), you know you’ve got a gem.

Because I lost so much weight, I’ve worn nothing but baggy clothes, and I think HB is a little tired of it. I’m perfectly comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans and a hat, but I can tell from his eyes that he’d like me to wear clothes more to my new size (“What’s the point of getting a great body when you hide it all the time?” lol). He hasn’t made too many comments but I can tell it bothers him that these days the only shot he gets from me dressing cute is to go out on a date – and whaddaya know! We have TWO dates planned this week: today and tomorrow.

I love HB and appreciate the effort he makes to keep our relationship fresh by taking me on dates and it’s only fair that I make the effort to do it by accepting his generosity and buying new clothes that actually fit me.

So I’m hanging up the sweats tonight… A short shirt or fitted dress I go!

If after a few years of sharing financial responsibilities, making serious plans for the future together, wiping each other’s noses, and seeing each other’s best and worst (including pushing each other’s buttons…), and you’re still sending sexy pics of each other via mobile, you have to conclude that the relationship has still got it going on.

HB found my “stash” of his favorite candies that I hid in a special drawer. His breath practically confessed itself! (And how proud he was as he gave me his best jack-o-lantern grin)

So now I have to find a sneaky new hiding spot.

Little mischievous moments like these are what makes my heart burst with love for this man.