make real friends who share my interests

Ryan and Sara.
It’s like looking into a mirror. I love them both, haha. ♥

I’m meeting up with this cute gal for coffee sometime this week. We’ve hung out within the group before, but never alone. It will be nice to start a friendship with someone who has the same socializing problems as me: too many dudes and not enough chicks around.

We had lunch with a friend of ours today, along with her boyfriend, whom neither of us had met before. It was nice to be out with people who have also settled down a bit, but not enough to be dreadful bores.

I realize that I’ve suddenly begun talking as a “we” here instead of a “me” but I’m okay with that for the most part. Right now, E is my best friend; he knows me better than anyone else in my life (and knowing all the bad parts, he STILL manages to love me somehow). However, I’m still planning to attempt to accomplish this goal on my own. It’s important to have a life and friends separate from our friendship.

I’ve had a bit of a breakdown involving this very thing in the past few days. I’m sick of being surrounded by people I wouldn’t even consider as my friends. I’m sick of having to pretend to care about people I only run into at nightclubs and parties. I feel like I’m wasting my time and energy on people I really don’t give a damn about.

I need to be a better roommate, a better coworker, a better friend to those I actually do care about and give a big “fuck you” to all the rest.

I want friendships that aren’t based on drugs and booze and darkness and vanity. I’m sick of feeling crappy all the time. Life doesn’t need to be like this. I had a nice night on Monday where we ate dinner and watched a movie and discussed life and it left me thinking that it could be like this much more often than it is right now. It should be. It will be.

The end.

A lot of my “friendships” seem to be based around terribly shallow things like fashion. I’m sick of the “scene” and the people in it. I’m finding out more and more than I have much less in common with most of the people I know than I ever would have guessed. Maybe I grew up with out realizing it.