He keeps coming at me….wanting this without acknowledging the dark and light about it.
I see it. I see him clearly. The dark and the light.
I could live with it. He cannot. He cannot live with his darkness.
It is a problem when folks subordinate…not celebrate their darkness. It just keeps coming bigger and looming larger.
Pull it out…deal with it. 4 months ago
So I did force it…but it took months of getting him to open his eyes or at least acknowledge it.
So we both look – together – and see – that there is good and there is light within our relationship = but the dark parts, the mismatch, the harder parts of who he can become, and who I don’t like when I look all feed into making this an endpoint.
But I was willing to know the truth and face it.
OR for that, I am again proud. He would have hid for months more, if not years, had I not called him out on it.
I should have acted upon noticing instead of waiting for the day that he found his courage.
Lesson learned. 17 months ago
i have turned a blind eye in my love life.
i know what the issue is. I am afraid.
i know i will lose him if i look.
i know i will lose him if i push to know what is there.
i know i will not accept it, or him if it remains.
how to get through this? how to reconcile?
but look with both eyes – respond accordingly. 20 months ago
I acknowledge the dark. He doesn’t like it.
I refuse a partnership – because I can see the partner doesn’t value or support me.
I can see both.
It is ok. 22 months ago
I have a situation…where I just want to see the light…
I don’t want to look at the dark…
Because I don’t like it.
I don’t want it and I will reject it.
The lesson I have learned… see both
and know that we all have our dark parts
our shadow selves
be willing to see his
do not be afraid of what you find
just respond to it
tell him how you feel about it
how you can live with it
what the boundaries of his dark look like for you
what is within the range of your normal
go from there.
see with both eyes…. you must.
you will. 2 years ago